Hanging in. Feeling snacky today, but I know for a fact I'm not hungry. There's just too much junk food in the office that tempts, and I'm having a boring day at work today. So I'm just trying to hang in another few hours until I can leave and go play video games or take a bath or read or something.
I can't get back on the wagon.
Its going on a month now.
I must have put on at least 10 pounds because I already feel my pants a little snug but Im not going on the scale.
I don't know guys. I might go to an OA face to face meeting but like I don't even have the desire to do that anymore. The 1 time I went to a face to face it was an unpleasant experience and there was no one there to sponsor. On the other hand I know a really great big book sponsor online but she only does strict food plan so I dont wanna go that route again. I was even starting binge eating therapy sessions but after one session I was just so turned off. You know sometimes you just don't click with someone, that;s how I felt with the therapist. Not only that but she was basically going to guide me through a book where I was to write down what Ive eaten, how I was feeling before,after,yada yada I don't want to analyze my eating anymore FFS. Gastric surgery is looking really good again or maybe I should continue the sessions with therapist, not sure at moment.
Meh. After being snacky yesterday afternoon until about 4, I wasn't hungry for dinner and skipped it. Go figure.
And davina, you sound like me! I went to OA face-to-fact once, but didn't really like it. I tried dialing in to a few phone sessions but that didn't work either. Therapist? Been there, done that, mine was a food addiction specialist. I waver on going back to her as my insurance dropped her and I'd have to pay out of pocket, which would be a huge but manageable expense if I went every other week.
I've considered gastric bypass too, but a few things scare me. First, surgery in general. Second, I worry that it's just going to eliminate physical desire to eat, when my desire is all psychological. My stepdad had it and he said you can't eat, because when your stomach is full it'll make you sick. Guess what! I can still stuff food in my face when I feel sick. And then there are people I know who have had it and it only lasts a few years before their stomach expands again and they're back where they started. It just seems like what I really need to do is modify my eating habits, not my stomach size.
Edited to add: And though I feel 'in control' right now, I'm anxious because it's this 3-4 week mark that I'm at where many previous attempts have fallen to pieces. I feel perfectly in balance one day, and the next it's like an avalanche and binging and all sorts of bad habits re-established, just that quick.
Last edited by rabidstoat; 01-22-2015 at 08:57 AM.
I've TRIED oa LONG TIME AGO AND LEFT THE MEETINGS HATING MYSELF WORST AFTER THEM THAN BEFORE.pEOPLE WHOULD TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH THEY HATED THEMSELV AND PUT THEM SELVES DOWN AND WEIGH NO MORE THAN 130 LBS.That really made me hate myself because I'm a HARD CORE compulsive eater and put on a lot of weight after a binge.I can easily gain 15 lbs from a 3 day binge and more if it's longer.My weight varies 150lbs-230lbs just from binging & yo-yo dieting.i eat til I pass out like a alicohlic can't stop drinking.i feel ashamed of my binging and hate that I have no control over it.I need to hand it over to GOD.This is hard for me to talk about.It makes me depressed and angry with myself
I can't get back on the wagon.
Its going on a month now.
I must have put on at least 10 pounds because I already feel my pants a little snug but Im not going on the scale.
I don't know guys. I might go to an OA face to face meeting but like I don't even have the desire to do that anymore. The 1 time I went to a face to face it was an unpleasant experience and there was no one there to sponsor. On the other hand I know a really great big book sponsor online but she only does strict food plan so I dont wanna go that route again. I was even starting binge eating therapy sessions but after one session I was just so turned off. You know sometimes you just don't click with someone, that;s how I felt with the therapist. Not only that but she was basically going to guide me through a book where I was to write down what Ive eaten, how I was feeling before,after,yada yada I don't want to analyze my eating anymore FFS. Gastric surgery is looking really good again or maybe I should continue the sessions with therapist, not sure at moment.
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I've been there myself.When I binge I can't stop and the weight starts piling on .Both my neiphew and sister in law had gas surgery.It didn't work for my nephew.My sister just had it
I can't get back on the wagon.
Its going on a month now.
I must have put on at least 10 pounds because I already feel my pants a little snug but Im not going on the scale.
I don't know guys. I might go to an OA face to face meeting but like I don't even have the desire to do that anymore. The 1 time I went to a face to face it was an unpleasant experience and there was no one there to sponsor. On the other hand I know a really great big book sponsor online but she only does strict food plan so I dont wanna go that route again. I was even starting binge eating therapy sessions but after one session I was just so turned off. You know sometimes you just don't click with someone, that;s how I felt with the therapist. Not only that but she was basically going to guide me through a book where I was to write down what Ive eaten, how I was feeling before,after,yada yada I don't want to analyze my eating anymore FFS. Gastric surgery is looking really good again or maybe I should continue the sessions with therapist, not sure at moment.
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I can relate to you.It was that way for me today.i was going crazy and wanting to binge but made myself walk around the track instead
Back at work. Today's been a bit stressful. Sleep's all screwed up. But I suppose this 'chick' is in 'control' for now. Just feeling kinda 'blah'.
In two weeks I have a business trip to Omaha. That will be challenging. I won't have a car, so I'll be reliant on someone else for procuring foodstuffs. And lunch is always at the cafeteria on base, which isn't the greatest. Breakfast is always the continental breakfast at the hotel, so yogurt and cereal and maybe a banana for a snack.
Stoatie (see, the "ie" makes it cuter, lol) -- traveling is always challenging, isn't it. I used to think airports made me snacky, but the truth is I have alot of anxiety when I fly and of course eating is comforting. Now I often go and get an apple as soon as we are at the gate, the repetitive hand to mouth eating and the time it takes to eat a big apple really helps me. And apples are yummy, too. I hope you'll be able to find some decent food choices in Omaha, you can do it!
My challenges in Omaha are picking up crap at the cafeteria at lunch, and eating out at restaurants in the evenings. The cafeteria should be manageable, because there ARE healthy choices. Not particularly appealing (it's not a great cafeteria) but they're there. Restaurants are tougher. I've already decided that since my Omaha trips are infrequent, I will budget in one steakhouse meal, with the concession that there won't be dessert (and I never drink alcohol so that's not an issue). Steak and sides and salad, though, are open season for that one meal.
Oh, also challenging is my general trend toward "I hate traveling and Omaha trips are a challenge so I deserve <insert unhealthy and binge-y food choice>." Gotta work on that.
Updated: Day three of avoiding the Haagen Dasz ice cream bars and cookies at work. Continued to devour the workplace mandarin oranges (three today) and veggie tray (carrots and tomatoes, but skipped the hummus today). They love to feed us at work, and I'm glad they've started getting some healthy options along with the junk.
Last edited by rabidstoat; 01-28-2015 at 06:32 PM.
Lately my thing is late night binges. I have to give one of my dogs a pill at 1am but I usually fall asleep before that. So at one I get up and do my bedtime chores, give him his pill, take the dogs out, and stand in the kitchen and EAT. My downfall is bread. Carbs in general, fat and salt. I don't have a problem with sugar.
I am going to start a thread for myself, though of course I would love company. I plan to post in it when I wake up from my catnap before I go to the kitchen for dog pill.
You all have made me curious about OA. There seems to be mixed opinions on it. Would love to hear your experiences.
I'm going to hang out on here for a while, because I reckon food addiction is my problem.
I've tried OA, I really hated them because they all seemed whingy, and handing over their personal power and responsibility to God, or a higher power. Which I don't believe in, because I'm an atheist.
Eating lunch out, coffees, and pick & mix chocolates are my downfall at the moment. Counting 10,000 steps a day helps conceal the damage calorie wise, but I really want to lose weight, not maintain at about 200lb.
Welcome Fluffypuppy -- I get up between 1 and 2 am every night for my dogs as well, because two of them won't make it through the night without getting a snack (otherwise they get sick and vomit bile). I have alot of insomnia so I never have a problem giving them a treat in the middle of the night. So I'm right there with you, sister, though I don't eat in the middle of the night. I can understand how that would be a hard habit to break!
Welcome sonickle! I called into a couple OA phone meetings that were too religious for me personally (I'm also an atheist). And, also, I fundamentally believe I do have the power to make the changes necessary in my life, and that, in fact, I am the only person who can. So obviously that particular part of the OA philosophy doesn't work for me at all. I have heard that OA can vary alot from group to group, though. I also tried working with an online sponsor but she was entirely too rigid and controlling (her way was the only way) and I couldn't make it work for me.
But for some people, I hear it really, really helps.
The compelling part of OA for me is the support. Like others I had problems with the religious aspect, and couldn't make it work. But I do believe that having a support group is really, really helpful, which is what I am hoping I can get here.
Last edited by rabidstoat; 01-29-2015 at 10:48 AM.
I beat the binge monster last night by giving my dog his pill before I fell asleep. I felt a bit anxious about it cuz I worried it would be bad for him or he wouldn't make it through the night bladder wise but I think it was ok.
I left a message at a centre that offers support groups for eating disorders to see if they have anything for binge eating. I used to go there years ago and know they do, but couldn't find it on their web site. I don't think it'll fit with my schedule as most programs are in the evening and I work evenings. Worth a shot I thought. Of course I am a little uncomfortable going somewhere where there might be underweight people.
I did some research on OA and I think I would have trouble with the higher power aspect too. A sponsor sounds attractive but if they are totally indoctrinated, it might just feel like guilt.
or maybe I should continue the sessions with therapist, not sure at moment.
