Checking in as I promised. Unfortunately, I didn't stay on track. I didn't stay on track at all. Feeling hopeless. Perhaps I'm in need of some good duct tape.
Well lucky I'm right there with you. Major fall yesterday. Someone brought shortbread. I ate them all (9). Oh and they weren't gluten free or vegan. So off I went to the coffee shop and had a donut on the way home, the sub shop when shopping and still managed to pack a hearty dinner in on top of that when I got home. I just totally crave it and lose touch with my body and hunger and rational mind. Continued having a couple treats today and large meals but mostly healthy. At least I killed it at the gym both days. Not enough to offset all that bingeing.
Body fat test tomorrow morning. Not excited about that. But maybe it will be extra incentive to get in shape. Well I am fit (deadlift 115, leg press 270 etc) just a lot of fat on top.
Hoping that I keep my workout streak going and the extra that I'm doing (ab or cardio between sets yesterday. Sprint intervals to warm up today).
Bought new sweaters and leggings. So uncomfortable in my clothes it has come to this. I didn't want to get comfortable and stop trying to get back into my clothes but I wanted a few things to it me now. And be warm and cozy in this arctic freeze.
AmethystJean, I feel for you! I had an 8 day long mega binge. It felt like I was stuck in ****. Today, I went to an OA meeting and that, along with support from this site and my sponsor, has helped me feel very hopeful. I've been on track so far and it hasn't taken me long to get that feeling that I'm human again.
I'm glad you bought some comfy warm clothes. You deserve to feel good! It might not be an ideal situation, but you're a person of the same value regardless of weight. I have to keep telling myself the same thing. I'm so harsh with myself and I have spent so many years putting myself down.
It might sound cliche, but we have to love ourselves. We didn't ask for this issue. We would never sign up for it! If anything, we deserve extra kindness for having to deal with an addiction that simply couldn't be avoided...we have to eat. Sometimes I think I'm just addicted to more. I want more and more and more, but I digress.
I hope we can do it together. Let's get to that finish line and stay there!
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Luckymommy, the issue with the retirement party was that I knew these people just wanted to have a party and were looking for an excuse. They could have a party any time they wanted. They didn't need a reason. I don't like to have a fuss made over me and I just wanted to not show up one day, and that's pretty much the way I retired. No goodbyes. I kept in touch with the people who were really my friends, rather than coworkers.
I guess my point was rather not to let your friends turn every get-together into a food fest if that's not what you want.
As far as Thanksgiving is concerned, I host every year for my extended family. I know it's coming and I plan in advance that I am going to eat stuffing. That is one of my weaknesses and I rarely have it throughout the year, so I have it on Thanksgiving. There are a lot of desserts, but thankfully, I am not a sweet eater. All the "bad foods" are on the table for whoever wants them. I eat what I eat and then it's over and I forget it. I think we need to learn not to feel so terrible, even if we have a binge. We're human, and everybody does it once in a while.
Thank you lucky. I wanted to do some OA online as I never felt like I would belong in a meeting (being that I'm a smaller size for a binger). I would love to have the support of a sponser, but man am I glad I have you all here. It has already helped a lot. I'm not sure if I'm into OA though I went to AA once for awhile with my friend and I loved the fellowship, but get really stuck on the steps.
Carol Sue, I like the mindset.
Okay so accountability. Here is the fat measurement today 30.4% (I actually thought it would be higher, so that's good, but it's 4-5% higher than last time I had a measurement). It recommends I lose 15 lbs and 10% body fat. Ugh. Losing the lbs will be easier than the fat, I've always been a bit fat heavy, even "skinny fat" when I was smaller so much so that I never lost a period when I was anorexic and lowest weight. I worked out after the test even though I am so sore I wanted to skip it. Just zumba today. I couldn't stay for yoga or go for a run. I'm just that sore (2 really good weight lifting days yesterday and day before). Oh and the most surprising thing about the test was it said my BMR was around 1300. I've been trying (and failing) at getting to 1200-1400 calories but no wonder I can't lose weight when I'm eating 500 calories (or more) above my BMR and not getting my exercise in.
Okay so that means I need to eat less and exercise more. It's going to be hard but I hope that my stomach shrinks so I don't feel so hungry. I'm also trying to eat lots and lots of fruits and vegetables, especially veg since they are lower cal. Huge salad for lunch (even with apple and pecans and dressing only 300 odd cals).
Unfortunately I also already had treats today so I'm running out of cals for dinner. I guess it's veggies veggies veggies.
Thanks Snark,
It was electrical impedence with electrodes (as opposed to a scale or handheld).
It's only a short term. I don't want to reduce too long to lower my metabolism. According to the mayo clinic site, I need 1850 based on moderate activity or 1650 based on inactivity. So even if I keep it a 500 below the inactive and get my 500 activity calories in, I should be good. So 1150. I will probably go gradually down. I currently have 1401 for today and I'm recipe testing, so there will be tasting. I'm sure it will be hard not to eat it either because it is going to taste good
Ame - Does your gym offer that measurement as a service? I think that is pretty cool! I've never had that done, I'm almost afraid I'd get over-focused on the numbers!
I hope you're all doing well. I woke up at 5 am which is a major improvement for me. I'm taking a new herb that has been used in India for hundreds of years. It's called Ashwagandah. It's supposed to help with anxiety as regulate thyroid and help with sleep issues. I don't know if it's a coincidence. I haven't noticed anything yet with anxiety because last night it was through the roof, but I'm grateful to have had some sleep. I tried to read from the Big Book (OA) but I was so anxious I couldn't even focus. I'm such a wackadoodle!
Anyway, I woke up with pretty bad migraine pain but I just had my coffee and am hoping for things to improve over the course of the day.
I ate well yesterday, so I'm beyond grateful for that and am super hopeful. I haven't been working out but I've been active by walking and not sitting around much.
I'll be hosting Thanksgiving, which I also can't believe is only a few days away. It will be a lunch and I have found recipes that look really easy. I'll also have help from my mom and mother in law so it seems pretty manageable. If anyone wants a healthy recipe for roasted pumpkin sage soup, you can find it here: http://www.skinnytaste.com/2012/10/r...sage-soup.html. It's something I can make the night before and I love any recipes that I can make the night before.
Sorry this is so long! I feel like I'm talking too much about myself. I'm wishing you all a very good day. Hugs!
Snark,
Yes my gym offers that. It's supposed to cost money but I got it free yay!
Lucky yay! good to hear you had a good day yesterday. I have taken Ashwandaga as part of a multi herb supplement for stress support or inflammation.
Thanksgiving lunch sounds like a good idea. You would be able to get away with less food! I hosted Thanksgiving last month and it was a hearty dinner (although I didn't really overeat on dinner) but I made 3 desserts and ate my day's cals in dessert!
So far so good today. 800 cals down. Filling breakfast of oatbran with protein etc that I usually have. Didn't really have lunch. 2 pm came around and had a "treat" of an indulgent protein shake (chocolate, banana, coffee and almond milk) and an apple, so that's my lunch so to speak.
Dinner will be the stew I made yesterday, although I'm recipe testing again. So I will not eat before I make the recipe because I'll just double up, instead I will make sure to take everything in to account.
Made it though the day a success. This very filling food really helps. I could have 1200 cals of cookies and it would a be a snack lol but because I had nutrient dense, fibre dense food, I'm good!
Final for the day 1147 cals and made it to the gym for zumba and then took the stairs and did a round of abs (daily hiit) to make it over my 500 cal goal. woot woot!
Last edited by AmethystJean; 11-25-2014 at 09:28 PM.
Reason: update
AJean, that's fantastic! Congratulations on a job well done! You're doing so well and you've found a healthy way to get nutrition and also feeling satisfied. I'd say that's the holy grail of weight loss!
You're right, it's so easy to eat a day's worth of calories in just one snack! People don't believe me when I say that I've gained 10 lbs. in 10 days but they haven't been there to see what I can actually do and how much food I can shove into my mouth.
Last night, I went to a parents meeting for my son's school. There was a huge spread of desert and fruit. I had some watermelon and grapes and that was it. I still don't think I ate at a caloric deficit yesterday, but I also don't think I ate over what a normal person would eat. I'm trying to just eat like a normal person right now calorie-wise, although I haven't been counting. Anyway considering the fact that I woke up with an intense migraine and had it all day, I think I did very well. I have the same migraine today as well, unfortunately. It'll be easier because I'm going to be busy cooking and won't have to go to any social gatherings like last night. Small talk is not my cup of tea and even though I seem very friendly and social, inside I'm miserable and just wanna get the heck outta there!
I'm also staying away from the scale. I can't handle seeing the numbers go up right now. I'm just going to keep staying on track and see where it leads me.
The great news is that I woke up at 5 a.m. again, instead of 2:30 or 3:30. I don't know if it's the ashwaganda or not but I"m going to keep taking it. I've also started taking Magnesium Taurate, which is a more easily absorbed form of Magnesium than Mag. Citrate.
Ame -- I admire your ability to recipe test and cook and still be in control, great job! Congrats on hitting your targets for the day!
Lucky -- I once gained 14 pounds on a 10 day Caribbean cruise, lol. Midnight buffets, man, those are a BAD IDEA. I'm glad the ashwaganda seems to be helping, I need to look into that! Great job on sticking with fruit during an anxiety-inducing social event, well done you!
Happy early Thanksgiving all (in case I miss tomorrow in all the busy-busy), I hope you all have a wonderful day with your loved ones (for those of us who are in the US)!
Sounds like you're really settling into some healthy habits.
Feeling hopeless. Perhaps I'm in need of some good duct tape. 
