I had to have a sleep study done and my son started martial arts the same night-- so I raced from taekwando to the sleep lab and grabbed a burger on the way. I've been SO good about eating what I need and stopping that I REALLY didn't think it'd be a big deal. *snort* 720 calories were inhaled in short order. I was DISGUSTED with myself. Not that I had a splurge, not that I went over on my calories that day... Just that I was so mistaken and that I ate the other half of that burger-- KNOWING I always already full and then was uncomfortable and oddly still hungry after it. Then, yesterday, Omigosh the cravings for JUNK were almost out of control. I'm sick. I have no control. I admit it. But, ugh. Man, I was disappointed in myself.
Anyways.. I fought through and feel more like myself today. I'm sitting here at Firehouse Subs after a study group and I ate half a medium sub with only the bottom bun. I didn't get my son a kids meal and I have him the chips, lemonade, and other half of my sub. Just to keep me honest. (That being said-- he loved it) So, less than 300 calories-- even eating "fast food." It's a victory.
Anyhow. Just had to tell ya because I need the accountability. And the support.
BamaGalRN! I'm so frustrated. I wrote out a long post and it got deleted (my fault, but still!).
I basically said that you handled that bump really well...it could have been so much worse. Perhaps next time you could get the burger without a bun? Just a thought. That's just what would help me and we're all so different.
Congrats on getting back on track...that is a victory in itself. I'm sending you oodles of hugs.
BamaGal (another person who says y'all all the time, I love it!) -- Glad you recovered quickly -- though no need for any disgust with yourself. You ate a hamburger, you didn't rob a liquor store or something.
It is so telling how quickly that kind of food triggers the cravings though, isn't it! Makes it worth your while to make hamburgers a rare treat!
Luckymom, I tried the liquid Valerian root and it did nothing. I don't know if more would help. I gave it two tries. Waaaaah!
Also, picked up the End of Overeating book and halfway through. It's very interesting but if he doesn't get to some solutions soon I'm going to throw the book. Ha! He keeps describing how enticing food is so far.
CoolMom75, yeah he does go on and on about those things. I skimmed a lot but in the end everything he said was based on what he wrote previously. You could skip to the third section and find where he recommends what can be done. I think he also wrote about some public health policy stuff in that 3rd section, which you could skip. It's interesting but I just wanted to read what he recommended for dealing with addiction.
BamaGal It takes courage to be accountable, even on an anonymous forum! It's discouraging to have a slip. When doing well i feel like i will ALWAYS do so, and then the slips and falls are that much more jolting. I hope things are easier for you now. Sounds like you handled it really well. Life sure has a way of messing with a diet!
CoolMom75, I'm sorry the valerian root didn't help you. I tried it as well and it wasn't enough for me either. I have now started an anti anxiety medication called Lexapro. I'd tried it many years before and it just made me so nauseated that I quit. This time, I'm starting on a much lower dose and even that, I've cut in half (which wasn't easy because the pills are so tiny). I'm really not a fan of medication but I just know I HAVE to do something because I'm sure the stress isn't good for my health either. It's almost crippling to have this level of anxiety at almost all times day and night.
I hope you feel better soon! Sending you hugs and peace.
CoolMom75, I'm sorry the valerian root didn't help you. I tried it as well and it wasn't enough for me either. I have now started an anti anxiety medication called Lexapro. I'd tried it many years before and it just made me so nauseated that I quit. This time, I'm starting on a much lower dose and even that, I've cut in half (which wasn't easy because the pills are so tiny). I'm really not a fan of medication but I just know I HAVE to do something because I'm sure the stress isn't good for my health either. It's almost crippling to have this level of anxiety at almost all times day and night.
I hope you feel better soon! Sending you hugs and peace.
Good luck with the new med! I hear ya about not wanting to have to take anything.
For the first time ever I halved a restaurant meal today. Go me! I actually looked up the calorie info after I ordered and discovered the meal was over 1100 calories. I divided it up and chewed slowly. So far, so good this week.
mars735, thanks so much for your support. It takes about 3 to 4 weeks for the medicine to show any anxiety relief but I've waited this long, so I will wait a little longer. I hope your eyes are doing a lot better. I've been low carbing and not noticing much weight loss. Hopefully I'm due for a woosh soon. All I want to do is lose 10 more lbs. (5 lbs. more at the very least), but it's taking forever. I think I had less than 20 grams of carbs since Monday. Before that, I was eating low carb but not really counting carbs because I was traveling and I had just started out so I didn't want to be too extreme about it.
CoolMom75, halving a restaurant meal is a great way to keep calorie counts within reason, so yes, definitely go you!
Luckymommy -- I hope the Lexapro will eventually give you some relief!
Coolmom - Great job halving your meal out, very smart!
My husband is having a fantasy football draft party at our house tonight, I just came back from buying several kinds of chips and other junk. I'm coming off several hellish days of migraines, and surprisingly -- right at the moment -- that junk isn't appealing. That almost never happens. I bought myself fresh watermelon, which is appealing. However, I do hope they eat it ALL, I prefer it not to be in the house.
Thanks, luckmommy, getting better little by little. My experience with low carb is that the less you have to lose, the slower it goes. Do you think you are in ketosis? That's the way I did my weight loss. Hellish to get into it but keeps hunger in check once you are there. That said, super low carb can set one up for sweet cravings. I'm still trying to figure out a good balance.
Mrs Snark Good luck tonight! If there are leftover chips, I'd suggest crushing them in the bag & tossing into the trash. Hopefully DH will have had his fill & won't object.
As far as carbs, it's nice to hear that it's normal to strugggle at this point. I've decided to start counting calories now as well as carbs. Also, I do think I eat too much cheese and you're only supposed to have 4 oz. max per day. I don't get why it's an issue though since I'm keeping my carbs in check. I don't know if I"m in ketosis but I can't imagine that I"m not. I think perhaps I need to buy some of those ketosis strips, but I've read that not only are they not that accurate, but that once your body gets used to the diet, you will still be in ketosis, but will secret less ketones in the urine, making it seem like you're not in ketosis. Given this, I'm thinking it's not worth trying out the strips. Any advice? My sugar cravings are way better now than when I was still eating more carbs, but they're by no means gone. I have my little fantasies at times. What I do is just remind myself that I'm not hungry and that I'll get to eat a delicious low carb meal when it's time to eat again. So far, that seems to work.
Mrs Snark, I am so sorry that you had such horrible migraines. My heart goes out to you! That is really extraordinarily excruciating and I can totally empathize. Glad that you're not craving the snacks for the party. If there are leftovers, maybe you can send your guests home with them? Usually, what I"ll do though (if I have to keep something in the house) is just to say, "that's not mine. not for me." Everyone's different though. All I can do is send you some strength.
Luckmommy, I've also heard that ketone test strips aren't reliable, but they were very helpful for me. They have been used by Type 1 diabetics, especially before glucometers, so they aren't simply a diet tool. To me that suggests they meet standards of quality. I suppose there are individuals who burn ketones so efficiently that they do not spill enough into the urine to be detected. And as you said, that can happen once ketosis is established.
Other signs of ketosis, btw, include odd odor to breath, sweat, urine, odd taste in the mouth, cold hand & feet, sometimes dry hands, too.
I got my strips on Amazon for I think about 18.00/free shipping. Here are some suggestions: get a good brand like Ketostix (Bayer), make sure they are not outdated, store as directed, i.e., air tight, don't leave the lid off, keep in dry place like kitchen, and just test first thing in the am before eating or drinking. The amount of ketones indicated does not matter in the least--just positive or negative. I always had trace to small amounts during my best weight loss.
You do not need to be in ketosis to lose weight of course, but if you are in it, it's easier and faster, imho. Since we are twins, I'll add to be cautious of low mood and cravings in low carb/low cal. ; )
Went to my first OA meeting yesterday. I loved being in a room with people with whom there is a sense of commonality around food issues. I'll be going back--there was a wonderful sense of community and authenticity. I find some of the things awkward for me so far--every time having to say 'Hi So-and-So" even when someone has already spoken beforehand, and then the Higher Power issue. I know I'm not the first person to wrestle with this. I get the idea of letting go of trying to control and fix everything, but I'm not sure there is anything else out there. I feel like I need to find strength inside of me. I may try a newcomer's meeting tomorrow. In any case, it was a great group of people.
Another good day for me. I had a bowl of homemade soup for dinner and thought I should just finish with that, but got a second bowl. The calories are fine for the day but I hate that I couldn't not have it.
Mars, I'm glad you enjoyed the OA meeting. I did TOPS meetings for a while and the formality was over the top for me and, as you say, awkward. I'm still meaning to try out an online meeting, however that works.
mars735, thank you for all that great info! I'm going to probably order the sticks you recommended from Amazon.
With the awkward parts of the meeting...I totally get it. I think the reintroduce so that there's no excuse not to remember people's names. There are some meetings that have a whole lot of people so that's when I find it helpful, but there are some meetings that are small and so I do find it odd, but nothing is as unpleasant as compulsive overeating, so I take it with a grain of salt.
Higher Power is just anything greater than yourself. I don't know if I already mentioned this but for me, my H.P. is OA and the universe and basically, just reality. I know fora fact that atheists and agnostics can do this program but there is a lot of stuff discussed that doesn't apply to them...but they can still stay completely in the program.
That said, I've made some changes. I have basically left my Sponsor. It was not a good relationship and causing me more harm than good. I'm going to be on my own for a little while. I need a break from having a Sponsor, but I also feel strong and very knowledgeable. I got a lot out of it and am really incorporating what I"ve learned into my life. It has changed me forever and I"m really grateful for it, but I"m not sure in what capacity I'll continue. I'll go to my Saturday meeting tomorrow and see how I feel. I do love being around other people who have the same disease.
All I want to do is lose 10 more lbs. (5 lbs. more at the very least), but it's taking forever. I think I had less than 20 grams of carbs since Monday. Before that, I was eating low carb but not really counting carbs because I was traveling and I had just started out so I didn't want to be too extreme about it. 
