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08-07-2014, 10:03 AM
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#61
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maintaining since 9/2013
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: CA
Posts: 1,958
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Quote:
Originally Posted by luckymommy
mars735, I'm so excited for you that you're making your list and going to a meeting! People say that we go to OA to lose weight, but we stay for the sanity. I've been very surprised at how much the program has bettered my life. I still have a long way to go, but I don't have the excuse of saying that I don't know what to do, because I do. Honestly, no to sound like a crazy person, but I think anyone could benefit from the basic principles of the program.
Also, if you go to a meeting and you don't like it, don't give up because every meeting has its own ambiance. I have 2 meetings that I attend regularly (one of which I love the most and consider my "home" meeting) and once a week I'll do a phone meeting.
Same thing goes with Sponsors. Just because someone is nice, doesn't mean they're a good Sponsor for you. There are a lot of people out there making newcomers feel like they have to become religious in order to do the program and that is simply not true. Anyone can do it. Anyway, if you ever want to talk to me about this on the phone, feel free to send me a PM, but I have no problem sharing the info in this format, since that might also help others. I just have so much to say and I don't want to type too much.
You made an important distinction with the walnuts. Foods can go from green and yellow to red, but once you put them on the red list, please don't try to have them again. It's just not worth it. I know that really does seem so harsh, but I believe that it gives me freedom.
One day, I was about to take my dog for a walk and I took out his leash and he got very excited. I thought, poor doggy , he has to wear a leash and that is still ok with him, but then I realized that without the leash, he could go outside, but he would eventually get hurt. He could get hit by a car or he could be stolen and abused, etc. OA is kind of a leash for me. There are some guidelines and restrictions but I don't have to fear for my life anymore. It has saved my life.
Finally, this is just a tiny tidbit, but you can get Omega 3's from other sources, as I'm sure you know. You can buy flax seed oil, chia seeds (I believe), wild salmon (I think Costco has it frozen year round but am not sure), fish oil from Nordic Naturals is great. I do know that walnuts are fantastic for health in general but just not worth it for you.
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Thanks luckymommy! Everything you have said is spot on imho. I appreciate both your generous offer of help and the way you are so careful to not sound "crazy" or pushy. You are neither & I hope you will continue to share here [but only if you like]
The OA website in my area lists hikes that they do--imagine a social event without people eating all those trigger foods around us! Anyway, I'm interested in checking it out. It doesn't require driving on the highway, which is a plus as virtually everything else I do does require that.
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08-07-2014, 03:11 PM
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#62
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onedayatatimer
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 3,277
S/C/G: 224/ticker/145-155
Height: 5'9.5"
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mars735, you're very kind and I really look forward to your posts (why not? you're so complementary!...but of course beyond that, you're very insightful).
The hike sounds like a great way to get a feel for some of the people and perhaps get an idea on how you like the program. It's not for everyone and I totally get that fact. I also really believe in timing because had I tried out OA 5 years ago, I don't think I would have stuck with it. There's something to be said for reaching "bottom" in order to find the willingness to do whatever it takes to get out. One certainly doesn't have to hit that bottom, but I just know that I was still under the impression that I could find the right diet or the right exercise program and then I could finally have the life I want.
Anyway, keep us posted on how that hike goes for you. At the very least, you'll get some exercise and fresh air.
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08-07-2014, 05:13 PM
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#63
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Melissa
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Alabama
Posts: 123
S/C/G: 250/229/175
Height: 5'6
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I'm going to work on making my red-yellow-green light foods. LOL I know what you mean about timing! If I would have read any of this 6 months ago I would have had to list EVERYTHING as a red light food! Just because I was SO out of control. Right now, as I've mentioned on a couple of other boards, right now I feel SO peaceful and confident that the changes I'm making now will stick. I'm not depriving myself, which is how I usually feel when "dieting." But this isn't a diet per se... This is my path to a healthier me and I'm SO thrilled to be on it and actually believe I can succeed for a change!!
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08-08-2014, 01:23 AM
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#64
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Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 111
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mars735
I agree that clean, blandish eating that is the way to go. It's still possible to enjoy food this way, imho, using good quality, fresh ingredients. Based on my experience yesterday, an additional challenge is to tolerate/find an alternative to the tension that forms when food is no longer the go-to for emotional comfort and pleasure.
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I don't mind it at all after getting used to it. I enjoy the flavours of the food itself and spices more.
I am now struggling with emotional comfort and binge eating. I need to get back on track ASAP.
I am also struggling with focusing on weight, it hasn't moved in a month and is really frustrating as I have a lot more weight to lose.
This is the inevitable time where there is a stall in weight, I think F it what is the point of this and start stuffing my face again
Last edited by davina; 08-08-2014 at 01:24 AM.
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08-08-2014, 04:54 PM
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#65
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Melissa
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Alabama
Posts: 123
S/C/G: 250/229/175
Height: 5'6
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For some reason I have spent most of the afternoon fantasizing about binge-eating. It's really weird though, because I'm not even hungry or anything. I had lunch with a friend today at Chipotle. It was tasty, but bearing in mind I've had WLS, I only ate about a quarter of burrito bowl before I was satisfied and didn't feel compelled to eat anymore. But all afternoon, I've been kinda day dreaming thinking stuff like, "Oh. I could totally eat this... Or that... Or maybe even run to the store and grab..." And it's all THE most random list of food.
Someone who knows more about this than me-- what the heck is going on?! I'm not even hungry! Why is my mind torturing me?!
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08-08-2014, 05:55 PM
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#66
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onedayatatimer
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 3,277
S/C/G: 224/ticker/145-155
Height: 5'9.5"
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BamaGalRN, the thing I've discovered is the more I have these thoughts, the more I am in my disease. It may seem obvious, but making this distinction helps me to recognize it and helps me to make an effort to think about things that strengthen my healthy-thinking brain. When struggling, I'll do some reading and then write about my impressions. Here is a place you can find OA literature http://bookstore.oa.org/category/Digital+Products I like For Today because you just find today's date and read it. Then you can write about your response to what you've read. I send my response along with quotes to my sponsor every day. It helps me keep myself in recovery. Since you and I aren't able to communicate in private yet, you're welcome to read and post here, if you're comfortable. If not, then don't worry...just remind yourself that you're working on heading in the right direction.
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08-09-2014, 05:53 PM
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#67
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Melissa
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Alabama
Posts: 123
S/C/G: 250/229/175
Height: 5'6
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Y'all, I'm STRUGGLING these past couple of days. I don't know what triggered it but I'm just RAVENOUS-- all I can think about it food, food, food. I haven't binged and I'm really fighting the urge to do so. I thought maybe a little treat would help so last night I did eat a package of peanut butter cups (2)-- always my candy of choice-- but the chocolate have me HORRIBLE reflex which I'm still feeling today. NOT worth it and it didn't help with my cravings. And today, even while I'm enjoying my food and being careful and could clearly feel I was full, I was just wanting to shovel all of my lunch into mouth. I didn't, but even as I was putting the leftovers away I was half thinking about just bingeing on it. I didn't *need* it but I felt like I did! Ugh.
Just struggling. Not ruining myself, but just not feeling that awesome contentment I had all week. Any ideas?
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08-09-2014, 11:01 PM
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#68
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maintaining since 9/2013
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: CA
Posts: 1,958
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BamaGalRN How's it going? I'm struggling too. If you can keep resisting, that's fanTASTIC! I'm no expert but I think those thoughts of binging will subside as you pay less attention to them, similar to ignoring a strong itch, maybe. Easier said than done!!!!! I seem to forget to try this whenever a craving strikes me, and giving into a craving lately results in some sort of binge.
Maybe we can both try this as an experiment, to see if paying less attention helps. I think it's ok to acknowledge the presence of cravings and fantasies about binges but the thing is to try not to invest a lot of energy and emotion in them that can reinforce them in our brains. That's what I've read anyway.
Last edited by mars735; 08-09-2014 at 11:02 PM.
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08-09-2014, 11:32 PM
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#69
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maintaining since 9/2013
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: CA
Posts: 1,958
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OA online meetings
BamaGalRN I think outside links get deleted. You can google Overeater Anonymous and then click on Find a Meeting, select the tab for online and fill in the info about time zone, etc. and you will get a list of hyperlinks for online meetings. They seem to be going on frequently. The 2 that I tried were not perfect fits, but even so, they helped me to feel more peaceful and not alone in this. Sending good thoughts your way
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08-09-2014, 11:46 PM
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#70
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Melissa
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Alabama
Posts: 123
S/C/G: 250/229/175
Height: 5'6
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Mars, I actually attended my first online meeting tonight. I enjoyed feeling like I wasn't alone and I'm taking the 90 meetings in 90 days thing seriously-- especially now that I see how accessible the meetings are! Today has no been a great day for me, food-wise. It's not really that I ate a lot, but considering today against other days I would have to say I overate (We had friends over for dinner and cooked out-- I had a hamburger patty and some chips, which isn't "bad" per se, but it was just more calories than I usually take in at a sitting). No snacking, though-- I wouldn't allow it!
Tomorrow is a new day and I will strive to do better. And to find another online meeting!
Last edited by BamaGalRN; 08-09-2014 at 11:47 PM.
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08-10-2014, 08:33 AM
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#71
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onedayatatimer
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 3,277
S/C/G: 224/ticker/145-155
Height: 5'9.5"
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BamaGalRN and mars735, I'm so excited that you're both really giving OA a chance!
With regards to cravings, here's what my Sponsor tells me: the next meal is coming and I won't die. Sure, the cravings can be intense beyond anything but what keeps me going is knowing that I have a planned meal on the way. I also have to make sure that I'm eating enough and I usually plan for more food when I'm close to menstruation and that helps too. Finally, what helps the most is keeping track of my abstinence. I've been abstinent since April 4 of this year. That is a miracle. I attend a maintainer's meeting and we get up for however long we're abstinent, so for up to 30 days, 30-60 days, and on and on. There are people there who get up to acknowledge more than 50 years of abstinence! I don't know that I"ll be able to do it but I sure would like to.
You will see that once you start working the program, there are 9 tools to keep us involved in the program.
Reading...every day, I have an assignment.
Writing...I reflect on my reading and it helps keep me focused and is very insightful to see my thoughts in black and white.
telephone...I call two people a day. I get phone numbers of other members at meetings.
meetings...I attend two meetings in person and do one telephone meeting, so a total of 3 per week that are on my calendar.
anonymity...I don't disclose what others share at meetings. I also don't gossip in general. Finally, I know that we are all equal at OA and we all have the same last name (compulsive overeater).
food plan...I send my Sponsor what I plan to eat the night before. If there are any changes, I text my Sponsor.
plan of action....It's what I plan to do that day to stay sane. There are some days when I know there will be a social event around food, I discuss this with my Sponsor to see how I will handle it. For other days, its' something like: I approach every situation with calm, do the necessary footwork and leave the results to my H.P. (Higher Power)
sponsor...I call my Sponsor every day at a scheduled time but I can call at other times too..we make it work.
service...when I go to meetings, I help out but there are other ways to do service if you can't go to meetings.
I guess it all sounds like a lot but it becomes second nature. I can tell you that I do spend a lot of time on OA but it is still less time than my addiction took and my life is infinitely better.
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08-11-2014, 03:49 PM
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#72
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Mom jeans are cool,right?
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,902
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This sounds interesting! A center like this for "[food] use disorder" would be awesome. It rejects the faith based model and uses a different approach.
http://health.heraldtribune.com/2014...ects-aa-model/
Last edited by CoolMom75; 08-11-2014 at 03:51 PM.
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08-11-2014, 10:08 PM
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#73
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Melissa
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Alabama
Posts: 123
S/C/G: 250/229/175
Height: 5'6
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Had my first yoga class tonight. Wow. I used to coach competitive level gymnastics and despite being chubby I was really a very strong person. Not anymore. Woooo. That kicked my butt! LOL and yet I can't wait for next week!!
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08-12-2014, 12:05 AM
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#74
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onedayatatimer
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 3,277
S/C/G: 224/ticker/145-155
Height: 5'9.5"
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BamaGalRn, sounds like you had a great experience.....tiring, but wonderful! I'm excited for you!
CoolMom75, I think it's great that you like this program. What I personally like about OA is that it's free and I can do it even though I'm agnostic. H.P. does not have to equal God, but it certainly can if one prefers.
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08-12-2014, 12:45 AM
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#75
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Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 74
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I have read the whole thread and you ladies are an inspiration!
I was beginning to think I am addicted to food simply because I weigh more than I'd like. But having read this I think I'm just giving myself an 'excuse'. I can't really relate to most of the thread and it's made me realise I am not addicted to food I'm just lazy and go for the easy option. This is quite a relief. So hats off to you all, you made me realise how much harder it could be and how I can do it if you guys can when your struggles are much bigger than mine.
So thank you all for giving me a dose of reality. And again, I'm properly inspired by you all.
I hope this doesn't offend anyone. I just wanted to say I appreciated the thread even if for a strange reason.
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