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Old 05-20-2014, 01:37 PM   #1
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Afternoons are so hard for me. It's just me and my two little boys at home and all I want to do is eat. I am also usually tired from getting up early, working then getting home and taking care of my kids. I get off work at 11 and it's like I have no one there to know what I'm doing so I eat. Anyone have any suggestions?
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Old 05-20-2014, 01:55 PM   #2
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1 - write it down. Write down when you are going to eat your meal and what you are going to eat. No snacking unless you are hungry and then, make sure you have something low calorie and healthy.

2 - only have healthy snacks. If you only want a cookie or chips and won't settle for steamed veggies, you aren't hungry! Don't add any sauce or oil to your snacks, and only snack on veggies. Prep your veggies ahead for better impulsive snacks.

-Steamed broccoli
-Salted Spinach
-Baby Carrots
-Celery
-Cut up apples

3 - stay occupied and active. Work on housework, work on a project, exercise, do laundry--anything with movement will distract you and make you feel better about yourself.
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Old 05-21-2014, 08:26 AM   #3
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OP, it sounds like you're dealing with a bit of stress and boredom all at the same time. I'm a stay at home mom during the day times and it was a very weird adjustment to go from having a schedule to being around the kitchen all day. As a mommy I was constantly tired and constantly taking care of other people's needs. It sort of felt like eating was the only thing I had to nurture myself, could you possibly be feeling a bit of this?

There are other ways to take care of one self. I don't mean to suggest romantic things like massages and bubble baths, but finding time to zone out and do something you enjoy is a necessary thing for all of us. Eat when you're hungry but don't plague yourself with guilt about it. As you learn to incorporate more activities you may see yourself letting go of the need for food.

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Originally Posted by laciemn View Post
1 - write it down. Write down when you are going to eat your meal and what you are going to eat. No snacking unless you are hungry and then, make sure you have something low calorie and healthy.

2 - only have healthy snacks. If you only want a cookie or chips and won't settle for steamed veggies, you aren't hungry! Don't add any sauce or oil to your snacks, and only snack on veggies. Prep your veggies ahead for better impulsive snacks.

-Steamed broccoli
-Salted Spinach
-Baby Carrots
-Celery
-Cut up apples

3 - stay occupied and active. Work on housework, work on a project, exercise, do laundry--anything with movement will distract you and make you feel better about yourself.
Sorry, I know you're trying to help. But who are you to tell someone that they aren't hungry if they don't want to eat steamed veggies instead of chips? When someone is eating for emotional reasons hunger has nothing to do with it. I can't tell you how demeaning it is to someone who is feeling low to be told to eat steamed veggies. This sort of plan might work for you, but to someone like me and possibly the OP (if she's feeling emotionally stressed) that it's an impossible feat to force oneself to eat something that they don't want and to completely discount their need to eat. Steamed broccoli does not have any magical powers to either lift one from their mood or to curtail an emotional eating episode.
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Old 05-21-2014, 10:53 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by Wannabeskinny View Post
OP, it sounds like you're dealing with a bit of stress and boredom all at the same time. I'm a stay at home mom during the day times and it was a very weird adjustment to go from having a schedule to being around the kitchen all day. As a mommy I was constantly tired and constantly taking care of other people's needs. It sort of felt like eating was the only thing I had to nurture myself, could you possibly be feeling a bit of this?

There are other ways to take care of one self. I don't mean to suggest romantic things like massages and bubble baths, but finding time to zone out and do something you enjoy is a necessary thing for all of us. Eat when you're hungry but don't plague yourself with guilt about it. As you learn to incorporate more activities you may see yourself letting go of the need for food.



Sorry, I know you're trying to help. But who are you to tell someone that they aren't hungry if they don't want to eat steamed veggies instead of chips? When someone is eating for emotional reasons hunger has nothing to do with it. I can't tell you how demeaning it is to someone who is feeling low to be told to eat steamed veggies. This sort of plan might work for you, but to someone like me and possibly the OP (if she's feeling emotionally stressed) that it's an impossible feat to force oneself to eat something that they don't want and to completely discount their need to eat. Steamed broccoli does not have any magical powers to either lift one from their mood or to curtail an emotional eating episode.
Okay, well I'm a person with a goal: weight loss. I also prioritize nutrition in addition to weight loss. I am logical, so I take steps to lose weight, but maintain my health. That means generally denying myself things that are high in calories and low in nutrient density.

Planning meals and not snacking, or snacking on low calorie veggies IS effective. You can still eat what you want, as long as you meet your nutritional goals and moderate portions and calories. Most of the time, however, that means skipping the cake and ice cream.

I give advice that works. Eating based on your mood is extremely addictive and not smart at all. That's why people get overweight in the first place--someone's sad or stressed, so they eat high-carb food, which releases lots of serotonin--that's NOT hunger, that's an emotional issue that should be dealt with in a way that does not involve food, if at all possible.
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Old 05-21-2014, 11:39 AM   #5
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I give advice that works.

...someone's sad or stressed, so they eat high-carb food, which releases lots of serotonin--that's NOT hunger, that's an emotional issue that should be dealt with in a way that does not involve food, if at all possible.
Ok well just because in process driven and not goal driven does not mean that you are logical and I am not. It's just that your logic doesn't work for the problem of emotional eating, that's all.

Of course emotional eating is goin to have to be dealt with in a way that does not involve food. So how is a bunch of carrot sticks going to help? Emotional eating has nothing to do with food or what one eats. It's how as why one eats. And for the sake of being logical how does one go about treating an emotional eating situation with broccoli?
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Old 05-21-2014, 11:42 AM   #6
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Thank you for the responses. Wannabeskinny I think you hit it right on the head. I am using food as "me time". I need to stop and do something else instead. Thank you for both of your help.
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Old 05-21-2014, 12:15 PM   #7
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Ok well just because in process driven and not goal driven does not mean that you are logical and I am not. It's just that your logic doesn't work for the problem of emotional eating, that's all.

Of course emotional eating is goin to have to be dealt with in a way that does not involve food. So how is a bunch of carrot sticks going to help? Emotional eating has nothing to do with food or what one eats. It's how as why one eats. And for the sake of being logical how does one go about treating an emotional eating situation with broccoli?
Do I really have to explain this? I didn't actually call you illogical, but if the shoe fits...well, you said it, not me!

If you eating for emotional reasons and can't just not snack, filling your stomach with a couple hundred calories of veggies is much better than eating loads of cake and ice cream. Basic stuff.

On a side note, why do you like to argue so much? I always see you arguing with everyone about your eating habits and everyone's eating habits. If you don't like it, just don't utilize it. If the OP doesn't like what I said, and doesn't believe my advice will work, then she won't do it, simple as that.
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Old 05-21-2014, 03:02 PM   #8
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Thank you for the responses. Wannabeskinny I think you hit it right on the head. I am using food as "me time". I need to stop and do something else instead. Thank you for both of your help.
I struggle with that same issue OP. Im also a stay at home mom. Something that has really helped me has been to make sure I get some sort of break, time to myself with NO kids or husband as often as possible. Im lucky enough to get 30 minutes to an hour about 5 days a week in the evening. Could you work something out like that? I can't tell you what a huge difference it has made for me. Self care is so important when we are busy and drained like that.

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Old 05-21-2014, 04:33 PM   #9
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Do I really have to explain this? I didn't actually call you illogical, but if the shoe fits...well, you said it, not me!

If you eating for emotional reasons and can't just not snack, filling your stomach with a couple hundred calories of veggies is much better than eating loads of cake and ice cream. Basic stuff. I very much disagree with this. The OP never said anything about loads of cake and ice cream anyway. I've heard this type of advice for decades and have tried to make it work. It only led to more eating and more binging.

On a side note, why do you like to argue so much? I always see you arguing with everyone about your eating habits and everyone's eating habits. If you don't like it, just don't utilize it. If the OP doesn't like what I said, and doesn't believe my advice will work, then she won't do it, simple as that.I don't like to argue, and like I said maybe you were trying to be helpful. But just because this advice has worked for you does not mean that it will work for someone who is eating out of boredome/loneliness/frustration etc. When someone eats for reasons other than hunger it is futile to try to address nutrition because that can't solve the problem, like you said - if you're eating for emotional reasons it has to be dealt with a little differently. Furthermore,it can be confusing and add a whole lot of unecessary guilt for not being able to adhere to nutritious eating.
You say "I give advice that works." Those are big words. What do you mean by "works"? This would be excellent advice if someone was asking for suggestions of a few healthy snacks. But broccoli does not cure tiredness or cravings and can result in feelings of deprivation which always, always end in some kind of rebound or binge eating.
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Old 05-21-2014, 05:55 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by laciemn View Post
Do I really have to explain this? I didn't actually call you illogical, but if the shoe fits...well, you said it, not me!

If you eating for emotional reasons and can't just not snack, filling your stomach with a couple hundred calories of veggies is much better than eating loads of cake and ice cream. Basic stuff.

On a side note, why do you like to argue so much? I always see you arguing with everyone about your eating habits and everyone's eating habits. If you don't like it, just don't utilize it. If the OP doesn't like what I said, and doesn't believe my advice will work, then she won't do it, simple as that.
I knewI wasn't the only one that noticed this!

laciemn, your advice was perfectly fine and excellent for someone's whose goal is weight loss, which you even stated. The OP didn't give any indication that her purpose for asking was to uncover some deep emotional issue, not that bringing that to her attention is incorrect, but since this is a weight loss forum, it is greatly expected that most of us do have some expectation to lose weight. While I do deal with an emotional component to weight loss, including issues with restricting my intake, I definitely utilize methods like eating baby carrots instead of cookies, when I'm feeling like I am trying to comfort eat.

I'm sure you've noticed that since wannabe has found the one true way of IE, she has been very concerned with telling any of us that do not practice these methods, that we are wrong, or at least not doing the best plan of action for our overall emotional wellbeing. While I imagine, wannabe, your heart is in the right place, you really should treat this new found salvation of IE much like a religion. I know I have found this frequently proselytizing tiresome. You should remember, that some of us have a greater need to be a healthy weight, than to drop whatever junk food comes down the pike into our bodies to heal our emotional selves.

We would all like to be emotionally healthy, happy and whole, but no necessarily at the cost of our health or appearance. I think IE takes for granted that the drug of choice that we use to medicate our emotional needs is one that does not have an immediate negative effect on us. What I mean is, if an alcoholic told you he needed to drink at times to help him deal with various feelings and past issues, and that sometimes that's what his body needed, I doubt you'd support such self destruction. Actually, it is quite often the reason behind alcohol and drug abuse; someone trying to medicate emotional (or even physical) pain, and/or to cope with emotional scars. Yet we frown upon this and would support this user if s/he said they are attempting to abstain from their alcohol/drugs.

I realize food is different. Its something we all need and in theory we should be able to listen to our bodies to know when we are hungry. However, that is not always effective for so many reasons that I'm not going to list here. It seems the OP was expressing that she is eating not out of hunger and her follow up post confirms this. However, the advice of laciemn, is very valid, because the OP may not be able to fix the root cause of her eating right away, and in the mean time she may not want to stall her weight loss or even gain. You may be comfortable with that, and I can say I have had times where I've let my weight loss stall to put addressing my ED issues at the forefront of my goals, but not everyone wants to do that, and they may be looking for those tips and tricks to keep weight gain from emotional eating at a minimum.
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Old 05-21-2014, 05:58 PM   #11
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Amberp I've been staying at home for a little over 2 yrs and spent much of that time doing the same, eating out of boredom, because of proximity to food and frequency of being in kitchen and YES, as my "me time", esp after bedtime. I can truly relate. Deciding to change is a big step forward and 3FC is a great place for support. Best wishes!
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Old 05-21-2014, 09:30 PM   #12
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You have a number of things going on at the same time - wanting to lose weight (not stated but assumed), at home and grabbing something from the kitchen or pantry every time you walk by, treating yourself with food when tired/stressed/underappreciated etc

The being at home and nobody to see you applies to those of us who work our jobs from home as well. It may seem super corny, but for a while I had to put up a little sign that "the kitchen is not open until X time". I coupled it with a scheduled breakfast, snacks, and dinner.

Food as treats and comfort - well that is a very big novel that almost all of us contribute to. For me - so of course your mileage will vary - having some treat rituals in place has been positive. One example is a big steaming mug of coffee w/ hot chocolate mix and cinnamon (iced in hot weather). insignificant calories, does not set off other cravings, and feels special - oh in my special mug.

Best of luck.
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Old 05-21-2014, 10:31 PM   #13
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You have a number of things going on at the same time - wanting to lose weight (not stated but assumed), at home and grabbing something from the kitchen or pantry every time you walk by, treating yourself with food when tired/stressed/underappreciated etc

The being at home and nobody to see you applies to those of us who work our jobs from home as well. It may seem super corny, but for a while I had to put up a little sign that "the kitchen is not open until X time". I coupled it with a scheduled breakfast, snacks, and dinner.

Food as treats and comfort - well that is a very big novel that almost all of us contribute to. For me - so of course your mileage will vary - having some treat rituals in place has been positive. One example is a big steaming mug of coffee w/ hot chocolate mix and cinnamon (iced in hot weather). insignificant calories, does not set off other cravings, and feels special - oh in my special mug.

Best of luck.
Ooh that sounds really good! I think that idea can be a great one if you are not craving a specific food item. I am totally going to try that. I have been trying herbal tea and it really doesn't cut it for me most of the time. Thanks for the idea.

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Old 05-21-2014, 11:06 PM   #14
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I found that I eqt for instant energy when I am overly tired - like with taking care of two kids and working. What is instant energy? Sugars. Chips, ice cream cookies. They helped me get by day to day, just to survive.

However, eating like that was making me more lethargic. It was making me feel worse long term. So, I would get a short burst of energy to do.... Something... The. I would fall into an even worse slump after coming off the sugar high. So, I just stayed constantly at a sugar high... At a price.

For me, and I'm not saying it's for everyone, but for me, cutting out the sugars - all starchy carbs was key. I still eat things I love, like pancakes made with hazelnut flour, topped with fresh fruit and fresh whipped cream just ever so slightly sweetened, but I'm keeping my insulin levels lower which is giving me tons more long term energy.

Just two months ago I was eating probably 3500 calories a day and I could have been eating more. I wasn't full. Now I'm eating about 1200 calories a day and I'm satisfied. I'm eating high fat, moderate protein, low carb diet and omg do I feel better.

Of course, telling me I had to give up the junk would have made me bawl.. But every time I cut them out.... I realize, it wasn't that hard and it was so worth it. I lost 100 pounds that way 2 years ago. Got depressed, started eating crap again and regained 70 pounds. Now I'm relosing it again in the same way so before - because it works.
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Old 05-22-2014, 01:13 AM   #15
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I also felt that I was trying to get energy from food, like Melissa, and also have experienced a significant improvement by cutting carbs. I ran from it kicking and screaming a long time but my glucose levels were getting worse and my dr started telling me that my prediabetic state was changing into more of a diabetic state so I knew the empty carbs had to end. I still slip up here and there but have mostly been low carb, wheat free, sugar free since end of March. I am still a little on the tired side (my daughter doesn't believe in sleep) but I don't try to eat to feel better like I used to. I just eat bc I'm actually hungry, not trying to fill some other need anymore.
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