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IE - Dysfunctional Eaters

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Old 05-09-2014, 09:24 AM   #31
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It's awesome that you have so many balanced eaters around you. I can't imagine trying to achieve IE goals in a house or environment full of diet-obsessed people.
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Old 05-09-2014, 09:29 AM   #32
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It's awesome that you have so many balanced eaters around you. I can't imagine trying to achieve IE goals in a house or environment full of diet-obsessed people.
I see it now but I didn't see it this way before. I was the one who was diet obsessed and preaching to others that their eating was harmful. I was telling my mom she ate too much bread. I was telling my husband he shouldn't eat just because he was hungry, I was yelling at him to eat breakfast when he really wasn't hungry. I was yelling at my grandmother telling her she didn't eat enough protein. And guess what, I was the one who was overweight, obsessed and extremely unhappy. They were all fine, slim, healthy, eating the foods they love, being active and carefree. I begrudged them that because I didn't understand it, I wanted company in my dieting misery. I wanted to force someone to be low carb with me, I wanted company in my calorie counting.
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Old 05-09-2014, 12:08 PM   #33
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Pixellate, I reckon she's disciplined also because she's doing competitions.

While she may come across as being a dysfunctional eater (eating very little daily, then binging during competitions twice a month), she's obviously doing something that's aligned with her goals.
Fascinating, eh? If competitive eaters were just described, without stating that it was their career, we'd have a whole different view of them!

Even the average weight ones or above average have to do pretty much the same as Sonya. I...I'm too lazy (sadly a talent for eating, not the career passion!) I remember reading about how Adam Richman, who gained throughout the seasons of Man. Vs Food would have do grueling exercise/barely eat anything on other days to not gain MORE weight.

Also, thank you atmos! If I find a cool challenge I'll make a video and post it!
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Old 05-09-2014, 12:12 PM   #34
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Men tend to not be bothered too much with calories etc, of course they generally have better metabolisms than we do, and don't have to face the extreme pressures of looking a certain way that we do. Those extreme pressures cause us to behave in bizarre ways. It's so typical to sit down at lunch with girls and the topic turns immediately to food, calories, exercise, dieting etc. It's normal behavior for someone to say "well I really shouldn't be eating a hamburger I'm so fat!" and culturally we all sort of speak that way. There are particular friends that are like this a lot and others that are more low key and relaxed. Some people feel the need to apologize to the universe when they eat a french fry - I've always done it and I'm learning to reexamine my behavior because it's harmful to me - I don't need that negative voice constantly judging me. I've spoken about this a lot with my nutritional therapist, she calls it the negative self-critic, that little voice that keeps telling me that I can't, that I don't deserve it, that I'm weak, that I'm fat, etc. Learning to calm that voice has been the biggest factor in whether I can listen to my body's hunger signals or not. The louder the self-critic voice, the more confusing my hunger signals are. The calmer the voice, the louder my body's hunger signals are. That's how my eating becomes dysfunctional in the long run. And when I hear other people's voices so loud and clear it becomes even more obvious - I wouldn't say it's triggering, it's more like finding that common ground and being aware that I'm not the only one who's got emotional eating issues, it kind of helps me from feeling like I'm completely crazy.

Because like you, I too have grown up with functional eaters, people who eat everything and stay slim and don't do strange things with their eating practices. My parents, my grandparents, my husband, my son, my BFF, even my extended family are all healthy functional eaters. I'm the black sheep. I've always been the one who's been trying to control my eating while they just eat. I'm the one who screams about calories, about carbs, about sugar, about exercise, about being in control! meanwhile they eat everything and calmly talk to me about moderation and they nod and smile but have never once gone along with any of my weight loss attempts. Nobody has ever ever given up eating anything they like just to support me and now I understand why - they don't need to.

You are right, we do act in bizzare ways. Yesterday I brought a protein shake to my daughters gymnastics because I wasn't hungry for breakfast but didn't want to be caught out if I got hungry. I was talking to one of the other moms who got something out of the vending machine because she hadn't had any breakfast either. So then my daughter has to pipe up and tell her that I brought a protein shake. So she looks at it and says " oh your'e so GOOD." Like its a totally normal thing to say. I mean she could have been saying good for you for being prepared if you are hungry but no, she meant you are so good because you are drinking a protein shake and not getting something out of the vending machine.

Its great that you have a supportive of IE family though. My husband like I mentioned isn't big on diets but he is always telling me to eat when Im not hungry because he so often would eat when he wasn't hungry because of his blood sugar. He gives me a hard time for not eating if its mealtime and Im not hungry. So, that can be annoying.
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Old 05-09-2014, 01:26 PM   #35
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You are right, we do act in bizzare ways. Yesterday I brought a protein shake to my daughters gymnastics because I wasn't hungry for breakfast but didn't want to be caught out if I got hungry. I was talking to one of the other moms who got something out of the vending machine because she hadn't had any breakfast either. So then my daughter has to pipe up and tell her that I brought a protein shake. So she looks at it and says " oh your'e so GOOD." Like its a totally normal thing to say. I mean she could have been saying good for you for being prepared if you are hungry but no, she meant you are so good because you are drinking a protein shake and not getting something out of the vending machine.

Its great that you have a supportive of IE family though. My husband like I mentioned isn't big on diets but he is always telling me to eat when Im not hungry because he so often would eat when he wasn't hungry because of his blood sugar. He gives me a hard time for not eating if its mealtime and Im not hungry. So, that can be annoying.
When someone congratulates us for eating something "good" then what are they thinking when we eat something bad. The internal judgement turns into external judgement and then we internalize it again.

Marriages can be tricky. When I fist started IE the program required that I eat as soon as I was hungry even if it was at odd times. Sometimes I'd sit down at dinner with my family as not eat because I wasn't supposed to eat when I wasn't hungry. It was all confusing at first and I though geez will I be able to ever eat with others again? Buy it took a relatively short time before my meal patterns evened out and now I eat 3 solid meals a day, no snacks. I'm allowed to snack, or skip a meal of course but this seems to be my normal hunger pattern now. I wouldn't have been able to do that if hubby wasn't supportive though, had he made me guilty for skipping meals with the family or commented at all at my food choices or meal patterns. I think he gets it cause he's a natural IEer.

I'm sure you'll figure it out with the 2 of you, it sounds like he's starting to come around!
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Old 05-09-2014, 08:13 PM   #36
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When someone congratulates us for eating something "good" then what are they thinking when we eat something bad. The internal judgement turns into external judgement and then we internalize it again.

Marriages can be tricky. When I fist started IE the program required that I eat as soon as I was hungry even if it was at odd times. Sometimes I'd sit down at dinner with my family as not eat because I wasn't supposed to eat when I wasn't hungry. It was all confusing at first and I though geez will I be able to ever eat with others again? Buy it took a relatively short time before my meal patterns evened out and now I eat 3 solid meals a day, no snacks. I'm allowed to snack, or skip a meal of course but this seems to be my normal hunger pattern now. I wouldn't have been able to do that if hubby wasn't supportive though, had he made me guilty for skipping meals with the family or commented at all at my food choices or meal patterns. I think he gets it cause he's a natural IEer.

I'm sure you'll figure it out with the 2 of you, it sounds like he's starting to come around!

I know Wannabe! In fact I had the thought that when she said that if I threw my protein shake down and went for the vending machine, would she say "oh your'e so BAD!" I mean maybe...

I usually can time my eating now so that I eat dinner with the family but if I don't, then its actually kind of nice to eat peacefully by myself after the kids go to bed. Breakfast is the meal my husband harangues me about the most. Often, I just don't want it and he doesn't understand that.

That is great that your husband does natural IE. I find it so helpful to be around people who eat that way naturally and so are supportive. I think over time my husband will figure it out. He is loving and supportive, he just has ideas that do not mesh with mine. When I talk about listening to your body he looks at me like Im crazy and says his body doesn't talk to him. So yeah, definitely a work in progress.
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Old 05-09-2014, 09:30 PM   #37
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I know Wannabe! In fact I had the thought that when she said that if I threw my protein shake down and went for the vending machine, would she say "oh your'e so BAD!" I mean maybe...

I usually can time my eating now so that I eat dinner with the family but if I don't, then its actually kind of nice to eat peacefully by myself after the kids go to bed. Breakfast is the meal my husband harangues me about the most. Often, I just don't want it and he doesn't understand that.

That is great that your husband does natural IE. I find it so helpful to be around people who eat that way naturally and so are supportive. I think over time my husband will figure it out. He is loving and supportive, he just has ideas that do not mesh with mine. When I talk about listening to your body he looks at me like Im crazy and says his body doesn't talk to him. So yeah, definitely a work in progress.

I definitely get this. Yesterday I was eating lowish-carb because I wanted to see if it would help me be less hungry/ lose weight. I'm really fighting the urges to diet hard right now even though IE has brought me peace and sustainable, slow weight loss. We had lunch catered in the office and I had a chicken breast and salad. My boss had that and beans and rice. She looked at my plate and said the same thing "OH LOOK AT YOU, YOU'RE SO GOOD! I JUST *HAVE* TO HAVE THEIR BEANS AND RICE. LOOKS LIKE IT'S THE GYM FOR ME TONIGHT!!!"

I like to think I'm good whether I eat chicken and salad or chocolate ice cream. So many things in the world are moral issues. You can't buy a pair of shoes these days without talking about ethics. Can we just keep the moralizing out of food, or at least keep it to how it is produced, and not consumed?
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Old 05-10-2014, 02:42 PM   #38
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I definitely get this. Yesterday I was eating lowish-carb because I wanted to see if it would help me be less hungry/ lose weight. I'm really fighting the urges to diet hard right now even though IE has brought me peace and sustainable, slow weight loss. We had lunch catered in the office and I had a chicken breast and salad. My boss had that and beans and rice. She looked at my plate and said the same thing "OH LOOK AT YOU, YOU'RE SO GOOD! I JUST *HAVE* TO HAVE THEIR BEANS AND RICE. LOOKS LIKE IT'S THE GYM FOR ME TONIGHT!!!"

I like to think I'm good whether I eat chicken and salad or chocolate ice cream. So many things in the world are moral issues. You can't buy a pair of shoes these days without talking about ethics. Can we just keep the moralizing out of food, or at least keep it to how it is produced, and not consumed?
That is so hard to be around those kinds of comments and attitude. It is such a shame that it so prevalent in our society. Almost mandatory for women it seems. Like they have to make an excuse or an apologia for eating what they really want to eat if its not considered "healthy". And really what IS healthy these days? Whole grain bread used to be considered healthy but now its the devil for some people. Anyway, I really think separating morality from food is a really important step in IE. I still cringe when I see someone on any kind of weight loss thread say something like how they were so "good" because they wanted ice cream but ate cottage cheese instead.
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