bingeing- eating so much feeling ill
Hi all- I also posted elsewhere on this site but thought this section mrs apt
I'm writing a fairly desperate post.
It always starts of being innocent, I'll just finish of this or that. Last night I had little sleep and today had to buy spreadable chocolate and white bread for my hubby's kids. I ate the lot, and was seeking more, and more.
I feel disgusted, I went to the supermarket and was half euphoric and half tearful, buying everything I could find that was a carb. I felt so ill but carried on.
I have a beautiful family and am usually sessile.. I feel ashamed, and out of control. I don't think anyone would understand as it's my own greed, but's it like I don't have a stop button. I don't feel satisfied or full. I keep going. Today I made myself sick too.
It's only food, I was thinking this doesn't after, but it was the fact I just wanted more,,,, I should have gone to bed and caught up on food.
I feel so low and ashamed of myself and don't know how to stop :-(
I was actually coming here to write about how far out of hand my binging has gotten. I don't have any advice because I'm in the same boat. I am rapidly gaining my weight back because, no matter how hard I try I just can't seem to control it. I am so ashamed of myself and tried of hearing myself complain to my husband every night about my guilt of over consumption. I just can't seem to get movtivated. So from one desperate binger to another, I just wanted you to know you are not alone. We will get through this, hopefully soon.
Breaking a binge pattern can be very, VERY, difficult as we all know. It's nothing to be ashamed of though, so many of us deal with this problem, you're definitely not alone! Different things work for different people, but here is a suggestion that worked for me:
Today, your only goal is not to binge. You don't have to exercise, you don't have to be at some super low calorie level, you don't have to drink a gallon of water, or avoid salt, or pass on the diet soda, or give up caffeine or artificial sweeteners, or do all of the many other things we often are trying to accomplish when we try to get back on track.
Just ONE goal -- no binging. Plan your meals for the day and make them a nice satisfying amount of food that you actually like (though not food that you know are triggers!), don't try and over-restrict. If you have free time, do something you like to do during that time, something that feels fun to you -- watch a movie, read a new book, paint your toes, home spa treatments. Whatever you LIKE to do.
And just get through today. Put all your other "diet and healthy lifestyle" changes on hold and just focus on the one thing -- no binging. And when you make it through the day without a binge it is a BIG DEAL! Give yourself major kudos and feel proud, it is no easy thing to break the cycle!
And if works for you, do it all again the next day.
My experience has always been that if I could string a few binge-free days together, my whole outlook on things would be so much more positive. Everything else seemed so much more doable if only I could feel that I had gotten "control of myself". Binging drains the hope out of me, it is so hard to enact positive changes when feeling hopeless.
Don't give up, you can do it! Hope this helps in some small way! :)
I find that my urges to binge and restrict calories come from a dark, hateful, and angry place inside of me. I have compulsive thoughts about how ugly, fat, stupid, worthless I am. Now that I'm aware that I have these thoughts I identify them and don't respond emotionally to them. Urges to binge, or restrict, or punish myself, or nasty thoughts just get ignored.
I imagine it's an evil part of my brain that is whispering me these things. It can't make "me" (or the part of conscious part of my brain that is in control of my actions) do anything. It can just whisper and throw tantrums and give me urges. Once I separated the two I didn't really have any problems with binging and purging (I'm recovering from bulimia). I focus on loving my body as it is and nurturing myself. It's been a slow process but I've seen results.
I found the following book tremendously helpful - "Brain Over Binge" by Kathryn Hansen
brilliant advice from michelle here!
i have now done 29 days binge free and lost 14.4 lbs and 3 inches off my waist so the hard work-as we all know is not easy-is worth it!
i really had the urge to binge last but i overcame it and didnt do it so im glad i didnt just give in!i have 2 treat days to look 4ward to next week 4 some family celebrations then in just over 3weeks me and the boyf r off abroad 2work 4the summer so will b having a mini holiday 2look 4ward to b4 work starts!
keepg oing everyone and thanks 4 the ongoing support :-)
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