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Binge Free In March

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Old 03-19-2014, 02:54 PM   #31
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u said u like to have fruit-have u ever tried eating frozen fruit?my trick is i hage either a weighed out portion of grapes or strawberries from the freezer-they take longer to eat so more satisfying and u dont eat as much!

hope u have a brilliant day!and believe in urselves!i believe in u!:-)
Great idea. I haven't tried frozen fruit since last summer. I used to put it in my water or just suck on frozen berries. I had forgotten all about it. I also think it would be a better alternative than the fresh fruit. Why, because if the berries are frozen I can only eat one or two at at time, suck on them till they thaw and fall apart. This really gives you the sweet fruit taste for a long long time. This way, I'd really only be able to eat a smaller amount instead of grabbing berries by the handful and eating them (like I do right now). I bet it would work, thanks.

Well, I did step on the scale this morning. Its been a LONG time since I weighed myself. Basically after the first week of being binge free I got so depressed, seeing the numbers still going up, I stopped. Well, if my scale is correct I have LOST. I don't know how accurate my scale is anymore, compared to the drs, but after my shower this morning I got on the scale and it read BELOW 180. The scale read 175/7 something like that. Either way, regardless if my scale isn't as accurate as the dr's, it still registers a LOSS. Because, when I weighed myself before I was able to read over 185 when I looked.

Yeah, my husband loves me, is attracted to me no matter what. I often think back to when we were first together and how big I was. I used to get funny looks when we first dated because he was so "small and thin". I can even remember a co-worker who knew both of us tell me "You, you and skinny Brian?" She wasn't trying to be mean, but in all honesty we were a very odd couple if you went on looks. He was slim and very athletic. I was 248 lbs, slow and not active.

Anyway, I can remember when I lost my weight the first time and got down to the 150's a comment my husband made trying to give me a compliment, he said "Well I definitely traded up, everyone is going to wonder how a 50 year old man ended up with such a young sexy wife". He used to really really try years ago to make me more confident, would buy me books about self esteem etc. Brian never ever brought up the subject of my weight and never really noticed the looks from family and friends. When we first dated I met his siblings, at different times. His brother was polite, but you could tell how shocked he was when Brian brought me home to met him, his sisters as well. Thankfully for me, my husband judged me by more than my looks.

Well, working late again tonight, till 6. I have leftovers in the fridge for everyone to eat for dinner. I am not bothering to cook.

Daughter is still home from school today, sick.

I got off work for lunch, ran to the library to drop off items and then to the mall. I don't' shop often but I had received my "reward" cards from the department store here in town and decided to treat myself to a reward of my own. I used to really look forward to food as a reward, need to find something else. I treated myself to a new perfume, mascara, foundation, and didn't feel guilty about spending the money on myself for a change. I do have to admit I question if rewarding myself for not binge eating is a good idea? I guess its the entire "reward" aspect I might be having trouble with, regardless of which behavior I am rewarding.

I seem to really ramble lately, I don't post on any other threads consistently. This thread seems to be a daily diary of sorts. I have learned these past couple of months that "getting it all out" seems to help me. If I keep all these thoughts, feelings, etc. inside the binge eating happens.

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just learnt to ignore his silly comments now and just find myself something to do as a distraction whereas as b4 i would just raid the cupboards!
You are doing so well. You are handling the stress. Its very simple to retreat to the cupboards to sooth feelings or handle stress, your "retraining" yourself just like I am. Gaining or losing weight really directly affects your relationship. I am glad you are secure in how BF feels, but promise if he does say anything negative etc ,or hurts your feelings, you stand up for yourself.
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Old 03-20-2014, 05:37 AM   #32
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thats great well done on ur loss result!determination always pays off in the end!keep going!

at the end of the day as long as u r both happy and healthy and ur children r safe happy and healthy,then no1 else matters imo!if ppl want to waste there time judging ppl whether they know they r doing it or not then they have a big problem and just need to get a life!!

i think its good to treat urself 4 doing well-i do,4 eg if i have a good weight loss one week i might paint my nails to give me insentive!that way if i reach a goal i have pretty nails too!its the little things..!and this xmas i got clothes vouchers to spend in clothes shops which i have been saving,so wen i reach a specific weight i can treat myself to some new clothes!looking 4ward to that one..!think my next treat im planning will b a nice haircut..:-)

posting on this thread deffo helps me and its so nice hearing about each others progress-and i really do appreciate the help!

i seem to b on track so far and still got bout 2weeks till ill b taking mum out 4 mothers day and the boyf out 4his birthday-that will b 2 nice meals out in 1 week...im bit scared of ruining my hard work but my theory is as long as i dont go crazy on the other days and stay healthy then any weight gained will b lost soon enough fingers crossed-just need to stay in a positive mindset and remember that it can b fixed so trying not to get 2 stressed about it..!last summer i had a lot of weddings etc that i attended so would b off diet 4 say a wknd then go back on my plan-so id gain about 7lbs then take a few days to lose it again so in a way i was still on track...just with some bumps along the way..!does that even make sense..?!

hope today is a good day 4u and enjoy some frozen fruit!:-D
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Old 03-20-2014, 05:40 AM   #33
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ps hope ur daughter feels better :-)
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Old 03-20-2014, 10:52 AM   #34
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hope today is a good day 4u and enjoy some frozen fruit!:-D
I am going to do this tonight. I dug thru the freezer and I already have a bag of blueberries, and a bit of raspberries, so thinking it might be a good treat. Last night, broke down and sliced up an apple and had it with some crumbled blue cheese. I like the tart apples, they still seem a little sweet, but the tany and crunch really is something I like. Also, since I slice them in wedges, and "dip" them in the cheese, it takes a while to eat them. I kind of think of it as the same type of physical and mental "procedure" as chips and dip. I loved it. I had looked at those apples for a couple of weeks, the kids weren't eating them. So, I did

I did notice this morning getting dressed that the band on my underwear no longer rolled a bit in the front, and came up more on the hips. They had fit perfectly when I bought them-30 lbs later I couldn't deny they didn't fit right. While they still are not fitting like they used to its a big improvement!

Well, today is about 57 or 58 days binge free. I honestly thought that even after two weeks the weight I had gained from the week long binge eating episodes would just fall off. I was wrong. It has taken a long time to even drop 5 pounds. It has taken twice as long it seems as normal. But, there is a positive in all of this. I used to binge 2-3 days, gain 7-10 lbs, then spend two weeks dropping the weight, and gaining a pound or two as new binges came.
This time, I have lost some weight, and not added any NEW weight thru binge eating. So, while I haven't drop 20 lbs or anything, I have come out of this so far with some control, the binge eating monster is not banging on my door or bursting thru.

I am learning some coping skills, food is not the first thing on my mind when I go to sleep, or the last thing I think of at night. I am no longer "ruled" by my drive to binge, the addiction part. I know the binge issue is still there but it feels more like recovery right now, true progress and results, instead of shaky and unsure I am developing some confidence that I am in control, not my need for food, my addiction to the binge.

Almost 60 days, it is a miracle. I haven't been this far in years. I am really also working on the other parts of the binge eating, not just forcing myself to "give" up the foods, but trying to figure out what things get me in trouble, like the eating alone, sneaking things. I have to stop that because that is part of the control.

I hope we are all having a good week, its Thursday already, wow. This week has gone fast.

Husband woke up this morning with the cold that daughter had earlier this week. He is bummed out as his school has a field trip scheduled today. They are taking the students skiing today. I tried to get him to ski last week, it was pay day so he could afford it, but he decided to wait till this week as its the last week his school makes this ski trip for the winter. Unfor. husband looked like a little kid who dropped their ice cream cone, all sulky and upset. He said he guess he will just have to stay in the loft, read books, and keep warm. The man never gets sick.

I am doing better. I have two days of antibiotics left to take and the pneumonia really seems to have responded to it. I still have a heaviness in the chest and lots of drainage going on, but better.
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Old 03-20-2014, 02:46 PM   #35
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yum apples sound nice!and i love blueberries and raspberries!

isnt it great when u notice clothes fitting better!

i so admire u-nearly 60 days!that is amazing!its crazy how before i thought i was the only person in the world that went thru the viscous cycle of binge/gain/lose/binge/gain.... slower weight loss is always better in the long term as u have seen and ur doing great overall-i hope i can be as positive in the future weeks to try an also learn to enjoy treats without consuming everything in sight..!my first experience will b mothers so will c what happens then and go from there...

iv been getting a lot done today which is good-sorted out my car insurance etc so glad thats all sorted now!that keeps me busy so im not thinking about food!
im looking forard to one of my favourite meals tonight-prawn salad with walden farms thousand island dressing!i love walden farms-i order stuff online as i live in the uk!have u ever had their products?now uk as to produce sugar and fat free ice cream and ill b happy!!

i hope u all feel better soon and have a good day :-)
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Old 03-22-2014, 05:06 PM   #36
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i've been binge/compulsive overeating free for 2 weeks now or so. this is the longest in years so I am keeping fingers crossed.
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Old 03-23-2014, 10:10 AM   #37
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Still binge-free but this was a tough week. My car was hit by a school bus while I was stopped at a stop sign. She cut the corner too sharp and hit the front, driver's side of my car. At first, I didn't think she was going to stop but I guess the kids on the bus told her she hit someone. It stirred up my PTSD. Without my typical reaction of sugar-bingeing to numb my emotions, I had to ride the emotional wave. It still isn't past but I'm continuing to make smart food choices and exercising when the nervous stress mounts. Needless to say, I'm a bit twitchy right now but I'm determined to make it through this experience without falling back to old habits. Just one pound lost this week but a pound down is far better than a pound up!
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Old 03-23-2014, 03:57 PM   #38
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congrats on ur acheivment so far davina thats brill!keep going!:-)

worththeeffort2 sorry to hear about ur trouble :-( ur being strong and not giving in which is great-i find myself things to do to take my mind of food cravings,even puzzles as i like them!i love herbal teas so i drink them all the time!

well i got a busy week ahead next week-various docs appts and takin my car 4 a medical!im gradually packing as me and the boyf r now going abroad to work for the summer!we leave in 3 weeks so got a few things to look 4ward to which is good!its week countown from tomorro till ill have 2days off my eating plan to take mum 4 mothers day meal and going movies ans 4food for my boyfs bday the day after that-then ill b straight back on diet plan till we leave for the summer!fingers crossed i wont gain too much for those 2days but whatever-i intend to enjoy it!

have a good day everyone!:-)
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Old 03-25-2014, 02:41 PM   #39
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Still binge-free but this was a tough week. My car was hit by a school bus while I was stopped at a stop sign. She cut the corner too sharp and hit the front, driver's side of my car. At first, I didn't think she was going to stop but I guess the kids on the bus told her she hit someone. It stirred up my PTSD. Without my typical reaction of sugar-bingeing to numb my emotions, I had to ride the emotional wave. It still isn't past but I'm continuing to make smart food choices and exercising when the nervous stress mounts. Needless to say, I'm a bit twitchy right now but I'm determined to make it through this experience without falling back to old habits. Just one pound lost this week but a pound down is far better than a pound up!
Glad your ok. I've driven a school bus for 10 years, at times the corners can be difficult to navigate but if you have driven for a while you know what your bus can/will do. I bet you were scared. I was hit a year ago, in my bus, by a mini van that ran a stop sign. Even in my big bus I ended up with injuries I also have PTSD, I was hit in my car by a semi a couple years ago. Anytime a car or truck gets close to me I break out in a sweat, get upset stomach, mind and blood pressure races. Well, one thing is sure, any damage to your car should be covered by the school district insurance policy, thank goodness.

You are doing incredible with your eating, be proud. I know that any kind of accident can send a person into an emotional state. When I get nervous or obsessive, it can set me over the edge to where I start roaming for food. Any kind of comfort food, but in all honesty its usually chocolate.


I haven't posted much lately, I haven't had time to, and its starting to bother me-no input from others, no support system. You guys are the only ones I talk to about this part of my life.

I am still BINGE FREE, going strong. I have developed an obsession, so to speak, for Jazz apples. I had two yesterday. I still need to really watch the amount of fruit I eat. I sliced up two apples last night, my train of thought saying one isn't enough, and really they taste too good-sweet since I haven't had sugar. After eating the first one I was full. But, instead of stopping, I had that thought cross my mind, don't waste it, and since its sliced up it will turn brown and not be any good, so eat it. I should have STOPPED, but my taste buds were in charge. It is a slippery slope, the apples themselves were no real problem but it is the mindset that popped up, the same thing I used to do with foods I shouldn't eat, and that voice saying eat more when my stomach says I'm full. I am going to remind myself again that 1 is enough, and stop.

I haven't noticed any real difference weight wise, haven't checked. However, I am still having some progress on how underwear are fitting. Instead of being tighter on the hips (hip huggers) and curling down a little, they are "staying up" and in place. So, maybe some progress? I am afaird to step on the scale. Again, the reason behind the fear is what if I step on and the scale hasn't moved, or even worse, moved UP when I haven't binged in all this time?

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've been binge/compulsive overeating free for 2 weeks now or so. this is the longest in years so I am keeping fingers crossed.
Congratulations! 2 weeks is a long time and you should be proud of yourself for the accomplishment!

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i so admire u-nearly 60 days!that is amazing!its crazy how before i thought i was the only person in the world that went thru the viscous cycle of binge/gain/lose/binge/gain.... slower weight loss is always better in the long term as u have seen and ur doing great overall-i hope i can be as positive in the future weeks to try an also learn to enjoy treats without consuming everything in sight..!
We are here, or "out there" I had never ever met anyone else with this eating disorder in my entire life. I felt like I was the only one, that no one understood just how crippling this was, or understood that it wasn't just occasionally over eating. My eating disorder is just as serious and life affecting as any other. Its a compulsion, it is life changing, it has left me helpless, powerless, and destroyed my self esteem and health. No one understands the amount of food, the emotions, etc.
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Old 03-26-2014, 03:48 AM   #40
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good to hear from u mainecyn!glad ur still doing good and binge free!having 2 apples is deffo more beneficial than just giving up and going 4junk in my opinion-iv managed to cut down on my fruit now,im only eating it if my bloodsugars r low otherwise i have a herbal tea instead!
there was actually a segment on tv yday morn about binge eating and how u should seek professional help 4it-my boyf dont believe it is a prob and all in my head and that theres no excuse 4 not stopping after '1bar of choc and a packet of crisps/chips'-which is wat the girl on tv said she binged on last night-in my previous binges iv had at least quadruple that amount!he dont understand it and refuses to believe its an addiction...thats fine tho ill try get thru it on my own...now done 30days straight binge free so pleased with that!and iv lost 14lbs in that time so have been able to treat myself by going shopping with some gift vouchers i been saving!iv had a few days where i nearly gave in 2cravings but overcame them thank goodness!
looking forward to next mon and tues as going 4 meals with mum and boyf 4mothers day n his bday-bit scared about going off healthy eating 4 2days but im goin back on food plan straight after to lose watever i gain...then a week and a half after that we both going abroad 4summer to work so will have a few days off then as holiday then will work hard 4 any damage done-my theory is that surely as these treat days r planned im in control so its better than an unexpected emotional binge..?iv done this kind of regime b4 with goin to weddings etc wen i been on a diet so fingers crossednit all works out..!no harm in looking 4ward to enjoying myself with my loved ones!

have a good day everyone and stay positive :-)
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Old 03-26-2014, 08:22 PM   #41
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I have gone from wearing size 26 pants to wearing size 22 pants. I wore a pair of my new slacks to work today. It felt so good to not be wearing the same old baggy pants that I've been wearing since January. I cleaned six pairs of slacks out of the closet last night and have a few more size 26 slacks left to clear out. They'll be taken to the thrift shop that supports a soup kitchen.

Despite marking that success, I'm having a very low period. My self-esteem and self-worth are at the bottom of the barrel these days. No binges but I don't seem to be able to leave the almond butter alone. The counselor told me to skip days having the nut butter this week to prove that I can choose not to eat it. So far, I'm scoring a major fail at this task.
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Old 03-27-2014, 04:11 AM   #42
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Originally Posted by worththeeffort2 View Post
I have gone from wearing size 26 pants to wearing size 22 pants. I wore a pair of my new slacks to work today. It felt so good to not be wearing the same old baggy pants that I've been wearing since January. I cleaned six pairs of slacks out of the closet last night and have a few more size 26 slacks left to clear out. They'll be taken to the thrift shop that supports a soup kitchen.

Despite marking that success, I'm having a very low period. My self-esteem and self-worth are at the bottom of the barrel these days. No binges but I don't seem to be able to leave the almond butter alone. The counselor told me to skip days having the nut butter this week to prove that I can choose not to eat it. So far, I'm scoring a major fail at this task.
thats great well done on ur success!
even just trying to limit ur portions of almond butter would be progrss,so dont cut it oit completely at first just gradually have less so u still get ur fix then go from there..!worth a try!and ur obvioisly doing something right with ur results so far so believe in urself more-u can do it!:-)
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Old 03-27-2014, 09:07 PM   #43
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I've never posted on this thread before but since I am around here I had might as well utilize the support. So I have to confess....
First I will say that March has had the least # of binge days since 2012. I am doing better and trying to be nice to myself because i know that the harsh inner critic is like a prerequisite for binging behavior. I have been more of an IE style but I try not to be the IE police because I sure do know how to make strict rules that kick me in the butt later.
Anyways, I did have a binge last night...specifically in the middle of the night. I did stop without making myself physically ill but it is the loss of control and self-sabotage that makes me feel bad. I did recover today and really fought the urge to just continue because why wouldn't you use food to soothe yourself for feeling bad for binging?! It only makes sense (insert sarcasm).

Though I would have liked to have not binged at all, at least I know that i can stop myself from entering the multiple day emotional eating behavior. Anyways, I will check back in here again soon. Wishing you well over the last few days of March!!
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Old 03-28-2014, 10:36 AM   #44
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I'm new here....yesterday was my first binge free day in a while....just wanted to acknowledge that, thanks!
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Old 03-29-2014, 04:48 PM   #45
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well done pghchic and shannonsnail!:-D
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