Hello,
While I freely admit I have my own food issues that I'm struggling with I'm actually here today looking for help for someone else. I love this person more than anything else in the world and she's taken TREMENDOUS strides to get her weight under control.
To cut to the chase, she finds herself struggling with sugar - you know, the 'empty calorie' food that you eat when you're stressed, when you're starving, when you're unhappy, etc. I know I do it too. I have started reading different resources about the causes, the possible remediation choices and in general just getting myself educated so I can really help my wife. I don't want to be the person that says "oh, just say 'no' to that cupcake" - I really want solutions here. Can anyone share a story, a perspective or some advice?
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Here's some background that may or may not be relevant. My wife and I are both in our 40s and she's struggled with weight for most of her life. In the last year, though, she's shown incredible determination regarding her diet and her exercise plan - she's running regularly, she went to a personal trainer and she religiously follows a weight-training routine. Her core muscles are phenomenally strong (i.e. ability to plank, etc). She looks great - she really does - and she arrived at her goal weight months ago and has been diligent about maintaining. In fact for awhile she was below her goal weight... which was a frightening and stressful time for a lot of people (including myself!) but she got past that in a very calm and very healthy manner.
What I'm observing now is that she seems to be doing "calorie exchanges" so that she can eat some of these sugary snacks. The calorie amounts are pretty low... we're not talking about 2,000 calories of Oreos but rather 150-200 calories of marshmallow candy - but as she's a pretty short person it is still a significant 'hit' of empty calories. What really troubles me is that a few months ago she'd avoid that garbage like the plague - focusing on fruit, yogurt, 'real' food like protein, etc. Now I'm seeing her locking in on these other foods - and the worst part for me is that she's visibly stressed about it, she talks about how she "binges", how she wakes up in the morning disgusted with herself, etc and it's just heartbreaking.
Yes, she has gained back a few pounds and yes, technically she is above her goal weight - but THAT is not the issue. The real issue is helping her to deal with this apparent sugar issue/problem/obsession. She seems really stressed and really sad about it. I don't know if other stresses in her life are causing the sugar thing or not.
There's one last piece of information that I've been withholding because in all candor I suspect I'm going to get a lot of heat for it... but the truth is the truth after all. She absolutely positively loves artificial sweeteners. Iced tea at a restaurant with a LOT of splenda or sweet and low or whatever. Coffee? Same thing and include some sugar-free caramel syrup. Salad dressing? Same thing again. There's even this oddball 'zero calorie dessert topping' stuff... it does taste pretty good but I have no idea what the **** is in it (though I suspect it's got to have some kind of splenda-related product in it).
The minimal reading I've done up to this point suggests that artificial sweeteners can actually exacerbate the problem she's having. I hope this isn't the case or that it can at least be dealt with... because she's such a good person, she works SO hard to exercise and to diet, it would literally break my heart if she had to forego coffee with sweet-and-low or with her low (or zero) calorie caramel syrup added in. We have a good life together but from a food perspective she has SO LITTLE that she's "allowed" to eat I just hope that she can at least keep some of her 'treats'.
Anyway, I know this is a long tedious post. I tried to give a summary up above and all the detail below... but if anyone has any thoughts, comments, ideas, suggestions or prayers I'd be forever grateful to hear them.