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Old 02-18-2014, 02:04 PM   #1
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How do you respond to close friends and/or family members that are aware of your binging habits when they tell you to just be reasonable and stop ďat oneĒ and when you tell them how they donít understand, that you know that in your head but its not something you can control and they argue with you that they DO understand....but you know they really donít and canít know how it feels unless youíve experienced it before....
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Old 02-18-2014, 02:32 PM   #2
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Isn't it awful that some of us have to constantly battle back against people who think they know us better than we know ourselves??

In the beginning I tried the polite "no, I'm good." or "no, it's ok. I'm so full, maybe later." or something to that effect and try to change the subject.

Now the gloves are off. I specifically spell it out for them that I can't be trusted with "just one" and that my health and diet literally depend on me being cognizant of everything I choose to eat or drink. Having said that, it doesn't mean that I don't indulge here or there. But now, it's on my terms and what *I* choose to have, not the pressure from others.

It took me a long time to get here but I'm so glad I did. And it's actually easier than I thought and not as harsh as I might have made it sound above. It's just firm and confident speaking (even if I'm not exactly feeling firm and confident...).
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Old 02-19-2014, 08:34 AM   #3
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For me the best strategy is to ignore ignore ignore. Let them keep talking until they say "hey, why aren't you talking?" Then I calmly point out to them that I already refused politely and that their going on and on about me eating a piece of food is so absurd that I can't participate in this ridiculous discussion anymore. "Seriously, we're going to talk about how you want me to eat another piece of food after I told you I don't want anymore?"

And so then they kind of look like a lunatic.
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"Binging is a descent into a world where every restriction... is cut loose. At its core is a feeling of deprivation.. a feeling you can never get enough. Binges do not signify a lack of willpower or inability to care for yourself. On the contrary, binges are a urgent attempt to care for yourself when you feel uncared for. They are the voice of survival. Binges are the mark of the self that says, 'I am tired of feeling deprived, of being told I am wrong, that I am bad." - Geneen Roth
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Old 02-19-2014, 10:49 AM   #4
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Um well no real solution from me here. I just found that those people in my life were generally toxic anyways, and I rarely speak to them now. Their suffocating attitude towards my dietary changes also applied to their attitude about anything I did in my life.
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Old 02-19-2014, 11:12 AM   #5
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You have my sympathies. I'm a bit of a people pleaser too so it gets me down having to say no more than once... these same people also don't have any time for bingeing... I know my mum was shocked when she found I ate nearly a whole cake when I was a teenager!

I also find it hard saying no to a drink (alcoholic) I'm pretty one glass then I stop. I have no problem with drink and am fortunate I don't think I have that "alcoholic gene" but I know I am more prone to bingeing when I have more than one. Yet even people really close to me get upset when I refuse an extra glass....

So all I can say is I sympathise. But you know you best. I think reminding ourselves that sometimes people care but sometimes they are also wrong. My very close friend went from a dress size 20 to 14 (she now looks slim) and she says people have gone from staring at her when she ate a slice of cake, to now worrying about her when she refuses a slice. She is very adamant though, she says she is happy for people to express concern if she was starving herself but it's frustrating when she says it was eating too much cake that got her to an unhealthy place in the first place. She has now developed a very assertive "no thank you, I have had enough" line and she doesn't budge. She always to me, she went to **** and back losing all that weight (she did it healthily but it took years and she still maintains she has to be mindful EVERY day to avoid regaining it.
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