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mainecyn 01-01-2014 06:52 PM

Binge Free and Over Eating in January
 
I didn't see a thread for the new month, or new year, so started one.


I am back to the very beginning again, one day. I am sure I am not the only one that is in need of this thread. I do well if I come here daily and check in, I know I will not do as well if I don't. So, why do I hide? I feel ashamed and embarrassed when I binge and just can't bring myself to come to the thread during the binging, yet being here is just what I need, before the binge begins, and maybe during it to help stop.

The book Brain over Binge has been recommended several times and I have downloaded a sample of it from Amazon. I am going to attempt reading it, and might look at the library for the full book if they have it and if I find some answers in it.

Once again, I am reminded that vacation is a horrible time for me. I can't handle all the events in the house, all the people, all the stress from the kids, and no way to escape. Eating is that escape. Its a comfort and a curse. I can make myself feel better for a brief moment and then the guilt piles on making things worse.

I have never had a period of binging so bad as this Christmas vacation. I am escalating and becoming for daring with the binge, eating foods out in open at times, leaving evidence in my car, half eaten bag of potato chips. I am becoming lazy and I feel at times like i want to be caught and want my husband to understand just how bad this habit is-that it is not easy to stop and is a disease.

Sasha29 01-01-2014 08:14 PM

I totally understand. I've tried to tell my husband and friends that it's not easy for me. I can't just have one chip and put down the bag. They don't understand that I can't stop, even when I want to. Food is my escape from stress, too. :(

I've had a really bad few months with bingeing and weight gain. It seems like this winter is hitting me harder than normal. Starting today, I am back on the wagon. I'm sure I'll slip up and binge, but I need to learn how to pick myself up and move forward.

mainecyn 01-01-2014 09:04 PM

I understand what your saying about needing to gain control. In the course of three weeks Ive gained 15lbs. Ive been binging constantly with no control, getting reckless and crashed in a ball of fire after falling off the tracks it was more than falling off the wagon. The sad thing is that each binge just gets bigger and bigger, last longer, and causes more damage. I don't know what made me go down this path, what made my ocassional over eating into a huge addiction of binging but I wish I could go back. I Hate myself and what ive become, disgusting, horrible, I don't know if I'm ever going to over come this.

amerrylife 01-01-2014 09:31 PM

I'm with y'all. It's been a few days for me but since it's a new year it feels like day 1. It feels good to be in control so I'm hoping it lasts. I'm tired of winter and bing eating and all of it.

Jubilee77 01-02-2014 12:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mainecyn (Post 4908644)
I understand what your saying about needing to gain control. In the course of three weeks Ive gained 15lbs. Ive been binging constantly with no control, getting reckless and crashed in a ball of fire after falling off the tracks it was more than falling off the wagon. The sad thing is that each binge just gets bigger and bigger, last longer, and causes more damage. I don't know what made me go down this path, what made my ocassional over eating into a huge addiction of binging but I wish I could go back. I Hate myself and what ive become, disgusting, horrible, I don't know if I'm ever going to over come this.

Mainecyn: I absolutely know how it feels to have bigger and bigger binges. I started leaving things out, too, before I stopped binging at the end of November. I really wanted my husband to start questioning me about my behavior. My husband said to me that it seemed my eating situation was darkest before the dawn. I pray that it goes similarly for you, too.

YOU are NOT disgusting and horrible; although, I know why you say so. It was hard for me to not believe that I was disgusting and horrible when I would go digging through the outside garbage for parts of binges I had previously thrown out in a desperate effort to STOP EATING. In high school, I would dig through the garbage cans IN THE HALLS to find sweets that non-addicted eaters had thrown out. I'm serious. As embarrassing as that is to reveal, I just really want you to know that I empathize with you and hope you will continue to come here (even during a binge, as you say) to share what's going on for you.

:hug:

Take care of yourself.

J.

laceyj 01-03-2014 12:50 AM

Mainecyn-You are not alone! There are a lot of us out there. I actually gained about 15 pounds in the last couple of months and it hasn't been pretty. I had a really terrible binge on 12/28 and kinda/sorta overate yesterday. However, the binges have been becoming further apart. Once you can start getting a few days under your belt you'll slip less. Just think of these slips as aftershocks! I've decided to log everything in MFP, even when I'm "bad." This way it tempts me to binge less and I also don't want to see all the crap that I ate! Do you have time to exercise? I got a FitBit for Christmas. I've found that if I at least get 10,000 steps in I don't feel as bad if I don't make it to the gym. It's also a motivator to take detours often!

Good luck to you. Remember, this too shall pass.

Allisgirl 01-03-2014 11:48 AM

Allisgirl
 
Wow I have not seen this thread and it feels so good to read that other people are having the same problem. With my vaca in Nov and the all the baking and Christmas I have gained 12 lbs. Yesterday I decided this was it I was going to get back on my Ideal Protein I get up get on my elliptical wear off 350 calories did great until 3:30 then all H broke loose I ate Carmel's, bowl cereal, chips crazy!! This has been a real hard time in Iow weather is very cold do not feel like going outside and my husband has had to travel a lot so I have been home alone a lot which I am not used to so I get bored and maybe a little depresses and turn to food.

Anyway thanks for this thread it has made me feel better reading other struggles and hope by sharing mine we can support each other.

MeganTheMushroom 01-03-2014 12:53 PM

The holidays are always tough. I'm surprised how well I did though. I haven't been in a baking mood at all this winter break, and because of it, there were very few vegan desserts for me.
I had a minor binge about a week ago, but nothing serious. Today is Day 6. I had a good breakfast and an early lunch after an hour of shoveling snow which made me hungry! I'm still a little bit hungry, but I think I'll wait until I digest my soup and bread before I snack on some pineapple or persimmon.
It's so tough being home all the time, only going out to workout and walk my dog. I've been doing so well with not binging to pass the time though! :)

mainecyn 01-03-2014 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by laceyj (Post 4909629)
Mainecyn-You are not alone! There are a lot of us out there. I actually gained about 15 pounds in the last couple of months and it hasn't been pretty. I had a really terrible binge on 12/28 and kinda/sorta overate yesterday. However, the binges have been becoming further apart. Once you can start getting a few days under your belt you'll slip less. Just think of these slips as aftershocks! I've decided to log everything in MFP, even when I'm "bad." This way it tempts me to binge less and I also don't want to see all the crap that I ate! Do you have time to exercise? I got a FitBit for Christmas. I've found that if I at least get 10,000 steps in I don't feel as bad if I don't make it to the gym. It's also a motivator to take detours often!

Good luck to you. Remember, this too shall pass.

Laceyj; thank you for responding. I am currently on day 3 of non binge type behavior, and not over eating. I know the longest I went was her on this thread, lasted around 20 days. I was feeling strong and did very well, then don't know what happened, what I did. I had even tried studying myself while I was binge free to really learn what triggers them and what helps with control. Nothing. My issue seems to be that when a binge starts the actually binge gets longer and longer..I will eat for days and days..over vacation i suffered from that by having a great deal of physical discomfort.I had gone 20 plus days binge free then I binged, and for 9 days I did nothing but eat over and over binging each day and eating from morning till night. I am noticing as well that I am gaining and not able to drop the pounds I've gained from the previous binge before I binge again and gain more weight..its getting dangerous.

I seem to live in a world where no one really understands the binge eating, that it isn't normal. I often think if I was bulimic, actually vomiting instead of just binge eating, someone might understand. There have been several times when I've tried to explain it to my husband, the addictive and not in control part, he doesn't get it, no matter what. I often just get the same line from my husband about me being a strong person and I'll stop OVEREATING when I want to.:dizzy:

I have been there, I have dug things out of the trash after changing my mind. I often thru things away, hoping it would help, or buying things I don't like as much, I still would either dig it out of the trash, or go buy something. I also have a draw full of candy that I say I am saving for the kids..its a precaution, that drawer where I open it and just look at whats in there and promise myself that this candy isn't in this drawer for me, but its a security blanket in case a binge hits. Unfort. I often binge on candy, chocolate, etc. I had to buy stocking stuffers twice this Christmas as I at every piece of candy I had bought (we are talking bags here) for all 5 kids and my husband.

I'm doing ok today. I just keep trying to tell myself that before I know it I will get a full week behind me. I am eating a great deal of protien, really focusing on that right now trying to break whatever it is inside me that turns on that binge switch.

davina 01-03-2014 05:43 PM

I lasted for about 6 days on my binge free/weight loss plan and it went downhill fast.
Oh well can't give up entirely, gonna try again one of these days coming up.

Though the entire time I was consumed with thoughts of food or next meal.
It's like either binging/overeating or not everything revolves around food.

Fiona W 01-03-2014 10:29 PM

I don't have anything special to report today, except for the fact that Kathryn Hansen, the author of Brain Over Binge, posted my story about using her technique to her blog: you can read it here, under "Tips for Beginners...Continued (Inspirational Testimony)". I think the technique I describe would be useful not just for binge eaters, but for anyone who struggles with cravings and urges to overeat. Enjoy!

Navywife12 01-04-2014 12:44 AM

I'm so glad I stumbled on this thread tonight! Everything you all have said is exactly what I have been going thru and it's time to get it under control for me. I binge at night after everyone is asleep. It's progressed so bad that 2 days ago I drove to Taco Bell in the middle of the night while everyone was asleep and no one even knew I was gone :(
I can relate to the feeling disgusting and ugly. I relate to not being able to eat 1 chip instead of eating the whole bag. I feel as tho I have spiraled and should be able to control my eating, but I can't. I feel like I let everyone down being this fat, my husband, myself, and most of all my 2 young girls who see everything I do. I don't want them to become me someday. That was my awakening point as I ate my 2 bags of tacos the other night. I have to learn to control this so I don't "give" it to my daughters.
I'm all in for this month in not binge eating or over eating. I'm going to check in here every night until you're all annoyed with me, but this will be my motivation. This is day 1 of not eating in the night :)

ILoveVegetables 01-04-2014 05:09 AM

Just got back from a holiday out of town and am pretty happy to note that I haven't gained any weight. On the downside, I've been stuck at the same weight for months now. But the new year has started, and along with that came a new burst of motivation, so here's hoping this month (and year) will be a good one.

Allisgirl 01-04-2014 09:14 AM

I just started reading Brain over Binge yesterday and it is so interesting and it makes such sense. Thank you Fiona for telling me about this book.

nextphase 01-04-2014 09:37 AM

Hi, new to this thread but not to 3FC. I had to delete my old user account due to a hacking issue. Anyway, I totally struggle with night binging. Last night was a real struggle, but I stayed in bed and went to sleep. It didn't help that I think I was legitimately hungry, so I *almost* got up to have something but I knew it would not just be a banana.

What's helping, I think, is having a green smoothie around 11. It really keeps me satiated for a long time and then I eat one large meal for an early dinner, instead of one lunch and one dinner. It seems like this is exactly the wrong thing for someone who binges at night, but it seems to be working!

I also wrote down my goals for the year and binging & overeating simply don't fit into them.


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