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Binge Free and Over Eating in January

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Old 01-21-2014, 08:41 AM   #46
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Originally Posted by mainecyn View Post
I stepped on the scale this morning and I have binged my way up to 182 which is an all time high in years since first lost weight.
Some of that will be water weight. But use it as a kick start, or a kick up the bum for you to take control. You CAN get a grip on this. Tell yourself that every day, every hour. It is difficult to do and there will be slips on the road, but your overall progress will be forward.
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Old 01-21-2014, 03:15 PM   #47
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Some of that will be water weight. But use it as a kick start, or a kick up the bum for you to take control. You CAN get a grip on this. Tell yourself that every day, every hour. It is difficult to do and there will be slips on the road, but your overall progress will be forward.
Thank you so much. I have gained back 12 pounds after being so excited to drop it a couple months ago. I am trying to focus on each second and not dwell on upcoming meals. I still do not know what works for me as nothing has in years. I have to find it at some point, right? I had done great for years and stayed carb free and binge free while I lost 82 pounds. I hit a stall that lasted almost a year, then the carb creep happened..slowly adding more and more healthy carbs back in, then adding more and more, and then turning to bad foods. I had broke free of the carb and binge addiction, or at least had it in control, remission. Now, its back as strong as ever.

I made it thru yesterday, very difficult. I felt miserable physically due to sugar/carb withdrawal. I've never had such headaches, acid reflux, and such. It is winding down right now. In the past I used to focus on just how awful I would feel after a binge..that worked for a while to keep me from doing it. But, eventually, the high from the binge, that great feeling, that excitement, that acceptance, I get from binging won over again.

I have been looking for advice on line and have found this info that might help others here. It is an article that claims to have 20 tips for Breaking Free From Binge Eating
found this article while I was looking around online to help control the binge eating habit I have. I also posted it in the January Binge Eating thread. While it is a very long article I wanted to share. It did help me come to the realization that most of my binge eating occurs because I stuff my anger, I get mad and then instead of dealing with that person or action that makes me angry, I binge to release all the emotions and tension..

Breaking Free from Binge Eating
These tips are not listed in any specific order.

1) Another diet is NOT the answer

There’s a good chance that a diet is what spiraled you into binge eating in the first place. I know that was the case for me. In the past I have experimented with several diets: low fat, low carb, and numerous others. And I kept looking for the diet that would end all of the confusion and allow me to escape the binge eating behaviors I had developed.
But thankfully I finally realized that another diet is not the answer.

In my experience, strict diets, especially those that revolve around limiting or completely eliminating foods, food groups, or macronutrients only add fuel to the binge eating fire.

The solution is not found in a diet, so don’t search for one.

2) Think ADDITION instead of RESTRICTION

This tip comes from David Dellanave and he posted it to his Twitter account a while back, and I think it’s so intelligently simple.

”In general I tell people to add instead of remove. When you add something, something else naturally has to fall away. Plus you’re focusing on an action you CAN do versus trying NOT to do something you’re already in a strong habit of doing.”

Don’t think about foods you should limit. For example, I love ice cream and I know it’s not something I should eat every day. But, instead of thinking, “Oh, I better not eat ice cream every day” I instead choose to focus on the foods I get to eat every day, and I make an effort to include a wide variety of foods into my eating regimen.

Restriction –> Binge Eating –> Guilt –> Restriction –> Binge Eating –> Guilt

As you can, a focus on restriction just leads to a vicious cycle of binge eating and guilt. Don’t think about restriction because it only makes things worse.

So ask yourself, what are you some foods you can ADD to your meals? You can even make an effort to choose a food from multiple food groups such as veggies, fruits, meats, dairy, nuts, etc.

Make sure you choose foods you like or new foods you want to try.

3) Stop trying to be perfect

I was once told that people who are self-proclaimed perfectionists are more likely to develop disordered eating behaviors, and I think they were right.

I’ve been a perfectionist most of my life. I even managed to get straight A’s in college, and I refused to settle for anything less.

As a result I applied this same attitude towards my nutrition, which I believe also led me to develop disordered eating habits.

Before I became a compulsive binge eater, I demanded perfection and only ate “the best” foods. My diet was “squeaky clean”, whatever that means.

If I messed up, I gave myself **** and demanded better.

All this ended up doing was making me miserable. I didn’t allow myself to enjoy meals, my favorite foods, or even family get-togethers filled with my favorite homemade meals because they weren’t “clean” enough for me.

After a while, all of this got to me. That’s when I really started binge eating.

I couldn’t take it anymore. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t be perfect all the time.

So I started to say, “Screw it!” and cut loose. That’s when I’d binge eat anything in site.

I still remember the first time I lost control and experienced my first binge.

It was scary. Little did I know it was the first of many.

“Perfect is the enemy of good” is a quote by Voltaire that basically claims that striving for perfection often results in no progress at all.

I also believe that to be true. Once I finally stopped trying to be “perfect” I was able to relax. Don’t look at things as if they’re black or white.You don’t have to be “perfectly on plan” or “completely off”. There can be a balance. Learn to find, and live in, that balance. Ditch the thought of perfection. You’ll be happier and much less stressed.

4) Stay off the scale

Many people who battle binge eating also weigh themselves frequently.

Get off the scale. That number does NOT indicate your self-worth. That number does not tell you what’s really going on with your body. It does not indicate your success.


5) Ditch cheat days

Some people claim a cheat day is the answer to their binge eating problem.

They’re “good” during the week and then one day, usually on the weekend, they go crazy and eat any and everything they want for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks.

I think this only contributes to the binge eating cycle. Because you’re only allowed to enjoy “forbidden” foods for that single day, you’re more likely to over eat AND eat foods you don’t even care for because of the fact they’re “off limits” every other day of the week.

Many people I’ve spoken to who have done the whole “cheat day” thing say they usually feel horrible that day, and after, from eating so much food. In my opinion, cheat days can also promote binge eating because you’re left thinking, “This is the only chance for a whole week I’ll have to eat these ‘forbidden’ foods.” As a result, people gorge themselves.

They end up eating foods they don’t even like and cramming as much food in their bellies as they can manage. In my opinion, stay away from cheat days.

6) Celebrate ALL victories and don’t dwell over minor set-backs

My binge eating habits were so bad I would binge every single day. I think I went a month straight where I would binge at least once a day.

But when I finally committed to being kind to myself and taking things slowly, I remember the first day I went without binge eating in over a month.

And I celebrated this victory.

Sure, I ended up binge eating the next day, but I still celebrated that victory.

Eventually I made it two days without binge eating. Then three.

Then I’d slip, binge, and start back from zero.

But the point is that I celebrated every victory. Whether it was going a day without binge eating, being kind to myself, or engaging in positive self-talk I would meditated on the good things and not dwell on the negative.

Don’t be so hard on yourself. Celebrate whenever possible, even if it’s something very small.

And when you do slip up, don’t dwell on it.

I know it’s easier said than done, but when you do binge, don’t dwell on it for hours or even days afterward.

Just move on. Focus on something POSITIVE instead.

7) Ditch the rigid rules

Ditch rules about what foods to eat, what not to eat, when to eat, and any other rigid rules.

Instead, learn to listen to your body.

You don’t need a book to tell you what foods to eat or even when to eat.

I encourage you instead to eat real, whole, natural foods most of the time. Eat when you’re physically hungry and learn to do something other than turn to food when you’re gripped by emotion and want to eat.

It may take some time, but relearn your natural innate cues of physical hunger.

If you’re not hungry but want to turn to food, make an effort to do something else. An idle mind is often hard to combat, so try doing something physically active, get out of the house, go for a hike, or have a good conversation with a friend.

We’ll talk more about listening to your body in a moment . . .

8) Food may be fuel, but it should also be enjoyed

“Food is just fuel for the body,” some people exclaim. As a result, some people don’t care how their food tastes because they’re eating exclusively for the fuel aspect.

I’m not one of those people. I love food.

And I tried the whole “food is just fuel” approach in the past, and as a result I ate “healthy” foods I strongly disliked. I forced myself to eat them because they were good for me.

Likewise, many of my binge episodes consisted of foods I didn’t particularly like.

I’d eat any junk food that was around because I thought it was “forbidden” or “unclean”, and so I’d binge on it. I ate so many cookies, cakes, candy bars, and other processed foods I didn’t even think tasted good.

So the solution is simple – only eat foods you enjoy, whether it’s real, whole foods or some of your favorite not-so-healthy-but-delicious foods.

Food should be enjoyed. No matter what you’re eating, make sure it’s something you like.

9) Put the focus on what your body can DO

In the midst of my binge eating habits, working out was a chore. It was something I did to punish myself for eating so many calories.

And I began to dread every single workout.

But, when I was applying some of the tips on this list to my eating habits, I decided to overhaul my approach to strength training.

I put the focus on what my body could DO, and nothing else.

My sole purpose and focus at the gym was getting stronger and becoming more awesome. Adding more weight to the bar. Performing more challenging bodyweight exercises.

And this was a tremendous help to me. It allowed me to be proud of my physical abilities. To be proud of what my body could accomplish instead of obsessing over how it looked.

I appreciated my body for what it could do and what it was capable of.

I now focus on, and am proud of, my strength and what my body can DO

10) Have positive support

For the longest time I didn’t tell anyone about my binge eating habit.

But I knew I needed help, and so I confided in someone close to me. Someone I thought would help me and be understanding.

Boy, was I wrong.

I was basically presented with a, “That’s not a big deal. Why don’t you just stop binge eating and get over it?” sort of response.

Oh, wow! There’s an idea! Why don’t I just stop?

Don’t make the same mistake I did. Tell someone you know you can trust and who will support you. Don’t surround yourself with jerks who basically make fun of you and claim you’re blowing things out of proportion.

Years later as my binge eating got worse, I took the plunge and confided in someone else.

This time, it went incredibly well. This person didn’t judge me and was understanding and supportive, and this made a HUGE impact on me.

It was nice having someone to talk to who would listen without being condescending.

Find someone you can trust, and talk to them. You can always begin with a counselor or someone who is qualified to help with disordered eating habits.

11) Focus on ACTIONS, not outcomes

Proclaiming, “I want to stop binge eating” isn’t enough.

You’re far better off focusing on ACTIONS you can take, consistently, that will lead you in that direction.

Come up with some actions you can perform on a weekly basis.

Here are some examples:

Stock your house with real, whole foods you enjoy
Perform 3 strength training workouts per week and focus solely on what you can DO Engage in a fun activity 1-3 times per week
Focus on eating your meals slowly
Say one positive thing to yourself every morning and evening
Eat slowly and savor your food

Write down these action goals and any others you can think of and strive to complete them each week.

12) How to handle binge foods?

Different things work for various people, but what worked for me was keeping the foods I’d most likely binge on out of the house.

Now these foods were not “off limits” by any means. I learned to listen to my body and if I truly wanted a common binge food, such as ice cream, then I’d go out and buy a pint, bring it home, and enjoy it guilt free. This is important — learn to eat your favorite foods with zero guilt.

So my solution was to keep common binge foods out of the house, but go and get them when I truly craved them.

If you live with someone who likes having a ton of snacks or other foods that tempt you around the house, then try talking to them. Hopefully they’ll understand and jump on board with you.

This tip was very helpful for me, and over time, I was able to have previous binge foods in the house at all times without being tempted.

13) Stay away from “rapid fat loss” approaches

As a result of my binge eating problems I gained quite a bit of extra fat. And it devastated me. On several occasions I turned to “quick fix” approaches because I was freaking out and wanted to lose the excess weight immediately.

All this did was make things significantly worse.

You must lose the “quick fix” mindset and avoid these methods at all costs.

It sounds pathetically cliche, but you must take this journey one day at a time.

Remember to focus on daily ACTIONS you can control such as engaging in positive self talk, cooking homemade meals with new foods, focusing on your performance with your workouts, confiding in a friend, and other actions.

This is not about a quick solution. It’s about taking the time to heal and adopting a sustainable lifestyle approach that’s enhances your life and doesn’t dominate it.

You want to slowly develop eating habits you can sustain long-term.

14) Be patient

This isn’t a fun tip, but it’s important.

Throughout this process you must be patient. Don’t expect overnight results, and don’t give up either.

It’s going to take some time to break the binge cycle in addition to other bad habits such as negative self-talk.

But learn to be patient. That brings us to the next important point . . .

15) Be kind to yourself

You’re going to slip up. And when you do, you must be kind to yourself.

Berating yourself when you binge or slip up only makes things worse.

Instead of calling yourself a “failure” or something similar, be kind to yourself. Realize it’s just a tiny mistake. Give yourself a break because you are trying your very best.

You are absolutely wonderful, and you need to know that.

You’re awesome and strong. Be kind to yourself. Furthermore, this was mentioned in the positive social support tip, but make sure you’re surrounded by people who are kind to you, and people who know you are an amazing person.

Here’s a great quote:

Being around people who are negative or put you can can only make things worse for you.

Make sure you surround yourself with positive, uplifting people. If you’re not, then it’s time to make a change.

16) Know that you’re amazing as you are, at this very moment

My friend, you are not flawed. You don’t need to be “repaired” in any way.

Know that you are amazing as you are this very moment.

You don’t have to completely break free from the binge eating cycle before you can be amazing, because you already are.

Know that. Embrace it.

17) Learn to listen to your body

We touched on this already, but it’s something that really helped me.

Learn to listen to your body. Relearn how to identify physical hunger.

In the midst of my disordered eating habits, I couldn’t identify physical hunger. I lost that ability for well over a year, even when I started to recover from binge eating. But I was patient and became more intune to my body’s signals.

Learn to identify physical hunger. And when you eat, eat slowly and savor your food. Listen to your body’s signals and identify when you’re satisfied. Make an effort to stop eating when you’re satisfied, but not overly stuffed.

Know that you don’t have to binge because you can eat again when you’re physically hungry.

Again, this probably will take some time, but be patient and consistent.

Likewise, don’t look to diet books to tell you what foods to eat and what to avoid – listen to your body.

Eat the foods that make you feel best and cut back on those that don’t. You don’t need anyone to tell you what to eat. Your body is smart, so learn to listen to it.

18) Stop focusing on fat loss

Chances are one of your primary goals is to lose fat. And if that’s the case, I’m willing to bet the way you eat and work out revolves around thoughts of losing body fat.

Well, it’s time to stop thinking about fat loss and adopt a more positive mindset and focus.

This was another important tip that helped me break out of the binge eating cycle, and I highly suggest you give it a shot. Click here for more information on this topic (but please finish the rest of this article as well).

19) Engage in positive self-talk

We commonly, and unfortunately, use words like “hate” and “don’t like” when referring to our bodies.

It’s time to change that. Erase those words from your vocabulary and adopt positive, motivating, uplifting words instead.

Learn to compliment your physical abilities, personality, and even things you love about your physique. Focus on these things.

You may have to apply the fake it ’til you make it approach, but it’s an important step nonetheless.

First thing in the morning say, and mean, something positive to yourself. It can be about a body part you like, a physical ability, or anything else. Just say something uplifting.

20) Be confident

I know how discouraging it can feel when you’re battling disordered eating habits. I asked myself more times than I can count, “Will this ever get better? Will I ever be able to go a day without obsessing over food and binge eating?”

Admittedly, there were times I thought I’d never break free, but then I changed my perspective.

I knew I could defeat this. I knew some day I could use that horrible experience for something positive.

And that’s why I’m writing this article.

It’s my sincerest hope this helps at least one person. If it does, then I’m grateful for the battle I fought, and won.

And I know that you can win, too. Be confident. It will get better.
Your Turn to Break Free

How exactly you choose to implement the tips above is up to you. I do suggest, however, beginning with the tips that will be easiest for you to employ.

Don’t try to do everything all at once. Choose a few tips that sound the easiest and apply them. Do your best to apply those tips consistently for a few weeks, and then add another tip or two. Remember - be patient and be kind to yourself.

Focus on ACTIONS you can take on a daily basis.

all content nia shanks 2013





This article had numerous ideas that all of us could apply. It sure points out the cycle of binge eating, not only are there the physical issues after the eating it is the emotional issues that binge eating cause.

I have been very busy and stressed the past couple of days, work, family, etc. I am trying to make myself re-group and allow time for myself to focus on me, what I want and need..not in a "selfish" way of demanding items from others, but of asking for what I need emotionally. I know for a fact that a huge trigger for me are the step kids and the stress that occurs when they are here, the yelling, the mess, the craziness, staying up til 1 a.m. or how everything else disappears when they are here. I noticed the first binge over the weekend occurred while I was in the kitchen with them here. I had made a huge meal for everyone, they all attacked it, leaving an even bigger mess. My husband sat in the living room laughing and playing with the kids, video games, etc..while I fumed. I looked at that mess and running thru my head was am i am slave? I made a huge meal, now I have to take care of all the leftovers myself, gather the dishes etc..I became angry and "ticked" off with my husband. I told myself that how could he not even notice how mad I was and offer to help-I was slamming cupboards and making lots of noise. But no, my husband was oblivious to my anger and so were the kids. No one noticed or cared, or offered to help..I remember that feeling of FINE, and needing to find a way to relieve the stress that had built up, the anger. It was the same attitude and feelings of the old "I'll show you" yet of course no one knew and it was all for me..a way to internalize the anger and the fast eating, binging, helped release steam and anger..I spent the rest of the night stealing food from the pantry while no one was looking..and I ate and ate. By the end my stress was released and I stopped seeing red. I know this is my own fault. I also have dissected the past and noticed that this is a general trigger for me. I keep telling myself how is my husband supposed to know what I want or need if I don't tell him, well as a wife my emotional attitude is well he should just know, he should see me doing things and just come to help, it shouldn't be something I have to ask for..I'm that way, you never have to ask. I'm one of those spouses that get up to go to the kitchen and say "Do you need anything, a drink" etc. I make special trips to the store to pick up items he needs and never forget anything he ever likes, wants, or needs. I know it is all just differences.

I spoke (ok text) with a male friend last night. We have been friends since my x and I separated, no other anything between us. I share details with him about things I could never tell anyone else, embarrassing things. He lives in California so its easy to say I'll never see him face to face and be embarrassed. We both seem to have this issue of not asking what we want or need, it bothers his wife because she feels he's indifferent to things and her.

I on the other hand view my husband not jumping up to help at times, just going ahead and offering help when it looks like I need it without me asking, as he just doesn't care and doesn't want to help. My friend told me actually, for him and most men, things such as helping take care of dinner, etc. do not run thru his mind either..not because he feels his wife should do it or that he doesn't care, but because shes never once brought it to his attention and said hey would you please help me take care of dinner since I cooked. Its the little details such as those that he says we need to "speak up" and tell or ask.

I am telling myself that the anger or resentment I feel during times such as this, wanting my husband to notice what I need, or the kids, is not because of what they don't automatically do, but because I HAVE NEVER ASKED THEM TO IT FOR ME. It makes sense. Instead of confronting, speaking, or asking for anything, I just stuff it down. I have always been this way as an adult..it came from a 15 year relationship that was confining, abusive, neglectful. I remember I wasn't allowed to feel anger or be upset with my X and to deal with those feelings, along with sadness, I ate, and ate. I seem to be carrying this behavior over, doing what I know will work for me, binge. Binge eating is one of those all encompassing things, and it is an appropriate response to every single emotion or issue that comes up in my life, happy, sad, mad, depressed. I mean when has chocolate or cake not made a difference?

I remember telling myself after the disintegration of my marriage that i would never ever let myself keep my anger or disappointment inside myself anymore. I told myself I would speak up, ask for what I need, demand what I want. All of which I couldn't do. Well, where did that go? I am again dealing with emotions and binging. It all goes to the same place, deep inside me where it builds, the hurt, the need, the anger, the stress reliever. I sure miss smoking. I hadn't really made the connection that my binge eating returned after I quit. I think it was my own stress relief.

I am sorry for such a huge post, the rambling. But, Im one of those that thinks best as I get it out and typing my feelings and responses out really helps. I have been avoiding this site and this thread where I used to come and lay myself bare..it helped. I became too embarrassed to show myself here, admit that I had gave into the binge eating again after 21 days of being successful and so positive.

I hope my rambling, might be of use for some one else. I also hope that this article offers some insite for all of us hear, some ideas, and some new ways of thinking and reacting to our binge eating. I am going to print it out at work and paste it to my notebook and maybe I will also save it to my computer at work so I can read it when I really need it.

When I feel the need to hit that vending machine because I am hurt, angry, or afraid, I can say, have you read what it says about being positive, celebrate each success, etc. It might help, couldn't hurt right? I hate to think that the voice in my head wins and the horrible comment I made to myself some time ago "If I could just make myself purge and be bulimic there would be no problem" how could I think that about myself and want to put myself there? Yet, I did, I thought it, plain and simple. Yet unlike bulimics that want to empty themselves and rid themselves of that pain (purge), I want to stuff that pain and myself down to the bottom under everything (binge). Again, sorry for the ridiculously long post.
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Old 01-21-2014, 03:26 PM   #48
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I wanted to check in with you chicks. I haven't binged since reading Brain Over Binge, which was 10 days ago. That book has truly changed my life.
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Old 01-21-2014, 03:41 PM   #49
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I wanted to check in with you chicks. I haven't binged since reading Brain Over Binge, which was 10 days ago. That book has truly changed my life.
Wow, ten days, congratulations. I read a small amount of the book, a free preview from Amazon, and I didn't connect with it. I am figuring that they didn't offer the best parts of the book as a sample. I am glad that you have found some techniques that work for you. I keep strolling thru our libraries in search of books that might help me. they don't have Brain Over Binge, and I don't want to buy the kindle edition in case it just isn't what I am looking for.
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Old 01-21-2014, 03:44 PM   #50
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Mainecyn - MAJOR MAJOR HUGS to you and please don't feel sorry about posting - no matter what, I think that our posts are helpful to those who post or just lurk - that we aren't alone in our feelings. You are definitely handling a lot of stress. I too was that state of "trying but can't stop" when I was dealing with a lot of stress. Fortunately, I ended up making decisions that helped put me in a better situation which subsequently helped with the binge cycle and it sounds like to me like you are also finding solutions to the sources of your stress as well.
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Old 01-21-2014, 05:17 PM   #51
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Wow, ten days, congratulations. I read a small amount of the book, a free preview from Amazon, and I didn't connect with it. I am figuring that they didn't offer the best parts of the book as a sample. I am glad that you have found some techniques that work for you. I keep strolling thru our libraries in search of books that might help me. they don't have Brain Over Binge, and I don't want to buy the kindle edition in case it just isn't what I am looking for.
I'm not sure about Wyoming, but our libraries in California have a program called Link+ which is a very fast interlibrary loan program. If my local library doesn't have a book on the shelf I can search a database of books from around the country and it will usually arrive at my library in 3 business days. That's something you can look into to get a hold of books that you want to read but not purchase.
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Old 01-21-2014, 08:14 PM   #52
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I'm not sure about Wyoming, but our libraries in California have a program called Link+ which is a very fast interlibrary loan program. If my local library doesn't have a book on the shelf I can search a database of books from around the country and it will usually arrive at my library in 3 business days. That's something you can look into to get a hold of books that you want to read but not purchase.
Yes, we have a program like that with our library systems. You can request an "inter library loan" from all over the county, and state. I do it often with other books, cd's, dvds, that I want. I did the search and the book wasn't available. I should say that one library had the book, but it is a reference book not able to be checked out of their library. I may try searching again, or try to come up with another book option.

Thank you for the support pixelllate, I need it.
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Old 01-22-2014, 01:04 AM   #53
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After reading so much on these forums about Brain over Binge, I finally downloaded it. I'm leaving for a 4 day vacation tonight, and I'm thinking about putting it on my tablet and reading it today and on the way there.

I'm stuck at 94 kgs (207 lbs), and while I'm going down really slowly, I'm ok with it as long as I don't go up. I'm hoping that this holiday doesn't get the better of me. Thankfully, the place where I'm going is known for its seafood (and I absolutely love seafood), so I'll be eating that almost exclusively. I'm making myself a promise not to drink much or eat between meals too much. We'll be on the beach all day, so it's super tempting to sit with friends in one of the beach shacks and snack on fries and beer all the time. Anyway, just to try and keep myself accountable, I'm going to hereby promise to:

1) Not drink more than one glass of any alcohol per day
2) Have maximum 2 fried foods throughout the trip, but try to order grilled, poached, braised, etc instead. As long as it doesn't have too much oil
3) Limit snacking between meals
4) Do a lot of swimming and walking

If I stick to this, I hopefully won't end up gaining much, if at all. I'll report back here once I'm back on Monday.
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Old 01-22-2014, 08:36 AM   #54
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mainecyn, those 20 tips are excellent! Thank you so much for sharing.

I particularly like #1, #4, #17, and #18.

Forgive me if it's already been mentioned, but I am currently reading Overcoming Overeating by Hirschmann & Munter. Like so many other books, there are parts that I do relate to and parts that I don't. If you can get it from the library you may want to do so.

Good luck - you can do this!
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Old 01-22-2014, 02:14 PM   #55
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Finally, a day that seems to be going well.
I had been wonderfully for most of break. I had my "I'm home, i can eat whenever/whatever I want" phase which faded into small portions and healthy choices and working out. About half way through our ski vacation, I started binging again and kept binging once I got back at school...
I'm up 7 lbs, but I'm sure a lot of that will shed off when I stop eating so much sugar and salt.

Today is about half way over, I just need to figure out how to spend the rest of the day.
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Old 01-22-2014, 03:33 PM   #56
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Originally Posted by SouthernMaven View Post
mainecyn, those 20 tips are excellent! Thank you so much for sharing.

I particularly like #1, #4, #17, and #18.

Forgive me if it's already been mentioned, but I am currently reading Overcoming Overeating by Hirschmann & Munter. Like so many other books, there are parts that I do relate to and parts that I don't. If you can get it from the library you may want to do so.

Good luck - you can do this!
I will look for that book. I think you are correct when you say that there are parts one person will relate to and others they can't. I need to find a book that works for me. I am a little shocked when I search our libraries online and see that there are so little books on binge eating. That is why I posted that info yesterday. I still haven't printed it out and want to, I only really scanned it yesterday.

I am hoping that by the end of the week I will drop a pound or two. I am on day three of eating well, eating clean. I have taken a real step forward these last two days. I am an emotional eater and when I'm angry, sad, etc. I turn to food. Well, last weekend I started out getting upset and angry over issues at home-needing something and not receiving it, so I internalize the anger and then the next thing you know I am eating, and binge. This is my cycle.

I took a look at my actions, the reasons I eat, or at least some of it, and the anger I felt that caused me to binge was over not getting something, but I didn't even ask for what I needed. It really hit me in the face Monday that while I like to think that people will give you what you need or want without asking, it doesn't happen.

So, how can I change things. Well, for starters I can ask for what I want, need, and let people know how I want to be treated. I have issues asking for help from my husband, then I get angry when he doesn't "just see I could use help" or offer to help..like I want him to read my mind. I cooked a huge meal over the weekend with a house full of kids and a husband playing video games in the living room for hours.

After they all ate, I ate last, I waited and waited for someone to take care of dinner and then I knew no one was going to do it. I then spent 20 mins (angry mins) taking care of dinner while no one noticed and I was fumming thinking how could my husband not notice and not come help. I then spent another 20 mins cleaning up the huge mess that was left. After doing all this, I then started binging on everything I could find while they stayed in the living room.

I understood that in order for my husband's actions to change I needed to TELL HIM I need this or that from you. I told him today and you know what, my husband told me you are right, I need to help you out and I am sorry I make it come across as you are unappreciated and that all of this should always be your job.

Wow, success. I had no idea that this is how things really work. You have to ask for what you want or need before you can get angry over not receiving it. So, there I go, an answer. Before I turn to food and get angry over my husband not magically reading my mind I need to say something. I have this binge reaction because of this at least half the time. I just decided since I seem to have an issue controlling the binge, I might be able to control what makes me turn to the binge BEFORE it happens, cut it off the cause before getting the effect. You know, it could help and might work?

I had a stressful time at work today, this entire week has been difficult.Our boss seems to be very stressed out with some big things happening and it is coming back down to us in the office. I also had to start coming in half an hour earlier as I am training. A lady in the office is going on maternity leave soon. I am training to do her job, and will also be taking over that job full time later on this school year. Its not a job that I really wanted, but it is a step in the right direction and experience in the office, more experience than I currently have.

However, I don't do well answering a million phones, dealing with rude people, and no I do not have a great deal of organization skills. This is going to be a stresser for me, as well as organizing and sending out other employees every day. Guess I will learn, right? So, I started my day off right by getting up to go to work at 4:30, instead of 4:45 this morning. I still was 10 min. late. So, guess I have to get up even earlier tomorrow.

This morning there was an awkward moment for me at work. I was in the "breakroom" and microwaving my cup of coffee. My main job in our department is to record all DOT physicals, driving records, keep track of all training Cpr, etc. for each employee (130+ employees).

I had a newer employee stop me and he was very upset. He asked me if I new about the "new regulations" coming out in May regarding passing DOT physicals. I said "Yes, I know that the government is now going to make it so every single dr office gives the physical the same way and has the same guidelines, they will be enforcing rules already there."

Then, he let it all out. He said he was scared that come May the dr told him he would no longer meat the requirements and pass the physical due to his weight. The drivers will now need to be able to lift a certain amount of weight to prove strength, as well as meet weight requirements themselves. This man is over weight, he told me over and over about how he has tried to drop weight before and he can't and that I didn't understand how hurt, how humiliating it was to be told this "because you are skinny".

I looked at this man as he told me he weighed in at 317 on the dr scale, actually he didn't know I keep the physicals and know that he weight was really 394 lbs. He was going on and on about how skinny people just don't understand how humiliating, upsetting, and hopeless being told to lose weight makes a person. He said to me just how would someone like you understand anyway, and this is my job on the line..I looked at that employee and said, I understand better than you think I do, I lost 100 pounds a couple years ago..he told me, no way, you are skinny. I told him again, I lost that much weight.

Eventually, this driver seemed to look at me differently. He seemed more accepting knowing that I had been overweight, even though he didn't believe it. I told him I had weighed 250 lbs a couple years ago. I couldn't walk, couldn't breath, high blood pressure, type two diabetes, and couldn't fit into theater seats or on fair rides with my kids. He asked me how I did it and I told him I went on a low carb eating plan, gave up all flour and sugar. When he didn't freak out over the mentioning of low carb I used the word Atkins. I explained I knew just how hard it was to drop the pound, and that I still battle my weight and self esteem every day. Of course this man had the wrong impression of Atkins, told me "isn't that where you can eat all the cheese and meat you want?" I told him no, it isn't. I offered to sit with him and listen to his concerns and what was going on with him if he needed it later.


I told him I cut my carbs to under 20 g a day, upped my water intake, and that I walked and walked. When he told me that wasn't possible i told him yes it is, eat lots of salads with cooked checken breast, boiled eggs, chopped bacon, and lots of fresh veggies. I also told him that I understood he drives all day and didn't feel he could exercise but that there was a walking track right behind our building and that I used to walk it every day before and after work for at least 30 mins. I was hoping I got the message across that for each excuse he gave me there was a way to fix it and get what he needed. At times the guy really wanted to hear it, and then other times you could tell he just kept making excuses in his own mind..he told me maybe it was his hormones, or that he just couldn't lose weight no matter what he did. I told him no, it isn't. I offered to sit with him and listen to his concerns and what was going on with him if he needed it later.

This conversation really got me thinking. For over a year I have felt like a huge failure, that I keep gaining back 20 lbs, can't seem to stop binge eating, and this conversation made me look at things and understand that what we may view as a personal failure is really a huge success story for someone else.

The man kept going on about how skinny I was. I look at myself and think FAT and ugly. This man looks at me as someone who had no problems whatsoever and was perfect, not being able to relate to him or others who are over weight and now facing this at work. This man also made me think that while I thought this driver was making a great deal of excuses for not tackling his weight, and was as defensive as I was at that size, I was and still am making excuses to myself over being able to stick to my own eating plan and get back to exercise. I did it once right? I am someone success story, WHY CAN'T I BE MY OWN? Do I make any sense?

I had an emotional issue coming home. I started to go into panic mode. I got home and saw a post it note stuck on our door. At first I was thinking it might be a note from my husband-I often leave cute love note post its for him. I was all excited until I noticed that it wasn't the color of any of our post its..I got to the door.

The post it had my husband's name on it and asked him to call this man who said he had legal papers for him. I started freaking thinking my gosh maybe he's being sued? Is his x asking for more support etc. I felt that feeling creeping up on me again. I started to make myself busy and then analyzed the situation and came up with other reasons..I felt ok what kind of process server would leave a post it note asking you to call you with a thank you under their number? Also, I reminded myself that 1 we just paid off his car loan and maybe it could be his title since we have waited for a month and it hasn't arrived, and 2-he works with high risk kids who have come out of the jail and court system.

One student just recently went back into jail and is due in court again..he may be getting told he has to come to court-the kid was removed for a great deal of reasons but my husband has had to control him when he has become violent at school..Then of course I went right back to thinking maybe he's getting sued? His dog bit someone a year ago. While not bad and nothing happened with it but the dog being kept inside for 48 hours, maybe they changed their minds, even though they were the ones on our property..my mind just keeps going. UGH I hate it.

A great deal of things happening, so many that I DON'T HAVE CONTROL OVER. I want desperately to be able to control what I CAN control..like my eating. My binging is just as out of control as my life. Years ago as a teen I felt like this as well with my life, invisible as well, and instead of binging I became anorexic. It was so different than I got a high off feeling control, off from depriving myself of food. I felt stronger and more in power as I physically became smaller, weaker. I starved myself down to 77 lbs. Yet, no one noticed. It was a long road back, done on my own, no one in my family even noticed the eating disorder then.

I didn't hide the anorexia I just didn't eat at all, I often said I ate before our meal, or just didn't eat. Now, I hide this binge eating, this disorder, and people should notice it since I gain weight and that is difficult to hide..yet I am embarrassed about this eating disorder and feel controlled by it, weak and out of control..how crazy. Anyone else have this experience of having a previous eating disorder before binge eating?

I tend to ramble on this thread, but at least I get it all out. Right? I also take comfort in the fact that you all can just skip over what I am saying if you don't want to read it It just makes me feel stronger to get everything out and not keep it in. I dont' have friends to talk to and figure things out with.

I hope everyone has a great day today. I hope we all get what we need today and have the strength and ability to ask for what we don't.




Here we go, some for everyone.
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Old 01-22-2014, 03:36 PM   #57
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I'm up 7 lbs, but I'm sure a lot of that will shed off when I stop eating so much sugar and salt.
You will, and you will feel better emotionally and physically. Adding vacation and anything different to your day to day activities and it really does result in a change in your eating. I always have the best intentions of behaving over vacations from school, the holidays, and even the weekends..but so far it hasn't worked, or at least I haven't made it work.
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Old 01-22-2014, 04:04 PM   #58
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Really struggling tonight. I've had a really long and busy (but not overly stressful) day. I'm busy justifying to myself why I should eat the breakfast bars I have in the car, or a bowl of cereal. I am already over my calorie allowance for the day, so what would it hurt? I am not hungry and I do not need those things. I will not give in to those urges to binge. I will not rationalise and engage with them. I will ignore them. I choose to ignore them.
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Old 01-22-2014, 04:31 PM   #59
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Mainecyn, I also want to say well done to you on 3 days B-Free! Its a great start.

I know how you feel about regaining lost weight. When I started my weightloss journey in 2012 i weighed 280lb. By June 2013 I was down to 190lb. By December 2013 I weighed 220lb. I put 30lbs back on in 6 months. I am gutted that slipped so badly and put on so much weighed, that I fought so hard to lose. But i slipped back into bad habits. I thought I had the weightloss thing licked, boy how wrong i was! Now i have to lose that 30lb all over again, before i can even think about losing any more. I think your description of carb creep is exactly right. Although in my case it was sweet creep. Just a treat, here or there, or ice cream here or there.

I have found the Brain over Binge book so helpful in thinking about what the urges are doing/saying and what the real messages are. I think we have to utilise a number of tricks in our arsenal to keep the binge monster at bay.

With regard to your colleague at work, who looks at you as a success (which you ARE!) could you and he support each other? Walk together round the track? Share food diaries and recipes? He may feel so overwhelmed and daunted and have no idea where to start, so some encouragement from someone as successful as you might help kick start him. And the positive benefits for you are someone to be accountable, and the extra incentive to go walking and keep on track with good food. And you can get support in your day to day life from him too. ITs often easier to keep on track with support than doing it by yourself.

Try not to let the stresses of the day overwhelm you. Easier said than done i know! but all of those things are out of your control. The one thing you do control is what food you put in your mouth. Focus on that and the decisions you make about your food.

You can do it, one small step at a time.
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Old 01-22-2014, 08:19 PM   #60
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Mainecyn, I also want to say well done to you on 3 days B-Free! Its a great start.

I have to say congratulations on 4 days yourself! I know how you feel about regaining lost weight. When I started my weightloss journey in 2012 i weighed 280lb. By June 2013 I was down to 190lb. By December 2013 I weighed 220lb. I put 30lbs back on in 6 months. I am gutted that slipped so badly and put on so much weighed, that I fought so hard to lose. But i slipped back into bad habits. I thought I had the weightloss thing licked, boy how wrong i was! Now i have to lose that 30lb all over again, before i can even think about losing any more. I think your description of carb creep is exactly right. Although in my case it was sweet creep. Just a treat, here or there, or ice cream here or there.

I have found the Brain over Binge book so helpful in thinking about what the urges are doing/saying and what the real messages are. I think we have to utilise a number of tricks in our arsenal to keep the binge monster at bay.

With regard to your colleague at work, who looks at you as a success (which you ARE!) could you and he support each other? Walk together round the track? Share food diaries and recipes? He may feel so overwhelmed and daunted and have no idea where to start, so some encouragement from someone as successful as you might help kick start him. And the positive benefits for you are someone to be accountable, and the extra incentive to go walking and keep on track with good food. And you can get support in your day to day life from him too. ITs often easier to keep on track with support than doing it by yourself.

Try not to let the stresses of the day overwhelm you. Easier said than done i know! but all of those things are out of your control. The one thing you do control is what food you put in your mouth. Focus on that and the decisions you make about your food.

You can do it, one small step at a time.
Thank you for the reply to my long post. I have to say that yup, your description is just what happened to me. I feel that since I didn't reach my original goal weight , I failed. I mean I lost so much weight, and then slowly began putting it back on when I got to that time in weight loss where no more would come off..I began that attitude of well I can't take it off anyway. I did the same thing with a little bit here and a little bit there with the eating. In the beginning I would over eat on acceptable foods that were in other phases, like berries. Pretty soon I was eating 2 or 3 containers of strawberries instead of a real suggested serving. My thought process was, but they are a healthy food choice so it isn't like i'm eating ice cream, right. I bought into that logic. I eventually went from berries to maybe I could eat chocolate occasionally, then it became a lot and often. Then I would spend several days eating horrible foods and try to make it up with a day or two of eating induction foods. Like that is going to help?

Anyway, I am trying. I figure if I can at least try to keep track of my carbs and pay attention, I can do better right? I also made myself not eat last night after dinner, generally thats when the snacking starts. I felt so hungry and upset, then after a while the hungry feeling left. Usually, I just would get up and eat.

The co-worker, hes a new employee and really has no interest in "buddying" up. After talking with him some more this guy isn't really wanting someone to work with him and help him drop the weight he says he needs to. Instead, he wants to complain about how unfair it is, be defensive about his weight, and tell me I still don't understand. He also sees me as "thin" never knew me as heavy, I think if I still was heavier he might be more comfortable. But, he seems more like someone who likes to talk about it and not do anything. There are a couple of people like that at work, 4 at least. They used to be friends of mine until I began to drop weight a couple years ago, now they ignore me and rarely even acknowledge me. It hurt when my friends starting ignoring me and then had nothing to do with me because I changed my lifestyle and my weight when they did not.

I made it thru a stressful day at work, it got worse this afternoon when the phone wouldn't stop ringing. I ended up staying an extra hour at work answering the phone-68 calls in an hour. There were questions about a bus that broke down, lost children, etc. I eventually made it out of work and came home to make dinner. So, everyone will be eating very late.

My husband learned that his important papers were the child support papers that I thought could be a possibility. He is going to be paying more childsupport, an extra $150 every two weeks. Luckily for his x he always pays his support, pays his part of the medical bills, buys clothes, and gives her money for "extras".

I have to be at my desk at 6 a.m. tomorrow to train some more in the new job, it will be an every day thing. I'm not looking forward to the time I will miss sleeping. Ive always been a morning person and have no issues with getting up, always worked, but its been since my teenage years that I had to get up before 4:30 in the morning. I look at it this way, at least I'm not a new mom who gets up 8 or 9 times in the middle of the night too. Right?
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