I did better yesterday than today, probably due to the fact that I was out of the house and busy. I haven't binged, but I've eaten more than I had been and I'm not hungry. I could feel it sneaking up on me last night, i can't explain the feeling but it was coming. Generally, I ignored it most of last night but this morning and afternoon it was harder to. I started off eating what was purely allowed, and by late afternoon was crossing over into some questionable stuff that I generally don't eat but found myself wanting too. I was bored with the choices I had and also that binging feeling is coming. I'm frustrated, bored, upset, anxious, and just don't know whats gonna happen next. At least Monday is here soon and it means I will be gone back to work so not here at home with thoughts of eating things to deal with stress or when I'm upset or angry.
How about a walk in the snow mainecyn? I'm assuming since you're in Wyoming there's now . If I get out of the house even to take a walk the temptation subsides for a bit
Did well today. I'm finding more and more that it's easier to just skip a meal and then have a big dinner (that's what I did today) because even if I'm really hungry by dinner time, if I eat slowly then I don't overeat. I don't know if this is healthy or not though. I'm finding it tougher and tougher to manage my portions if I'm having 2 or 3 meals per day.
I came really close to binging tonight. My work schedule got messed up, so I'd planned out my day to be at work from 4-7. Instead, I was home. So, the big meal I ate at 2:30 was not going to cut it for the whole night. I didn't want to make a whole dinner, so I had a little snack of a few crackers. Bad idea! The kitchen is supposed to be closed!
I made the executive decision to eat something healthy but high in fat to satisfy my hunger and keep me feeling full. I ate a whole avocado with balsamic vinegar. 280 calories. And, now, I feel great. Disaster averted.
I survived last night! That's 3 nights down and counting of not binging. I thought that paired with burning 550 cals each day at the gym my number on the scale would of moved but it didn't
Tonight hopefully I can get right to sleep and not enter the kitchen at all. I'm locked and loaded with a giant glass of water to drink to keep me feeling full.
Did well today, but it's 3 am and I'm fighting to avoid a binge right now. I ate lunch and dinner like normal, but I feel like eating something really badly, and I know I shouldn't. I can't sleep either, which makes it worse. I'm just posting here in an effort to alleviate the urge.
My issue is overeating. Today, I've done really well, except I ate some French fries when I wasn't really hungry. I think I actually stopped being hungry about three fries in, after I had an In-n-Out double-double protein-style. But I kept mindlessly eating. And I even noticed the fries were cold and no longer felt good in my mouth. Ick. Why did I do that?!!
I did it because I mentally checked out of my meal experience. I was edgy. Someone was talking to me and I was really done listening to him, but he kept going on and on. And he wouldn't leave! So I ate fries. Hmmm.
How about a walk in the snow mainecyn? I'm assuming since you're in Wyoming there's now . If I get out of the house even to take a walk the temptation subsides for a bit
While not a great deal of snow the last couple of days, there is extreme cold. We have been in the negative degrees temperature wise for a long time this summer. I don't do well with exercise in the winter, spring, summer, and fall, I like to walk. I tried to keep busy and get my mind off the wanting to binge. I did well, I ate, but didn't binge. I keep saying I need to find a winter exercise to do that I physically can do, but I'm one of those that hate exercise and always push the idea back.
I am doing ok these past few days. I haven't binged, broken "diet" but I have noticed night time wanting to eat, snack. I need to find something late at night to eat, acceptable. I honestly am wondering if I am not eating enough fat or protien at dinner time and that is why I find the need to eat something at 9 pm or later.
Last night I got up and wandered thru the kitchen, looking and trying to find something to eat. I was hungry but not overly hungry, just enough that I knew I'd be thinking about eating all night. I am going to try to eat more at dinner tonight and see how I do. I just am not hungry from lunch time till dinner. I find myself not eating much at all during the day while I work, and after preparing dinner I don't always want to sit down and eat what I make
Tonight, we are having hickory smoked turkey breast. I will have salad with it, plenty of Cesar salad dressing, some crumbled bacon, and I will also find a veggie to have with some butter for fat. I haven't really been paying attention to the amounts of protien or fat I'm eating and admit that its probably part of my problem. I will eat something, small salad with a bit of protien, feel neither full or hungry, then later on I get hungry and have cravings.
Emotionally, not good or bad. I've been busy and while I stay busy I do seem to do well and productive. However, I've noticed that I do have moments of ups and down emotionally at the oddest times...I can have doubts, or worries, creep in and then have a gloomly feeling come over me and other times I am ok. It happened today. I was great all thru work this morning and afternoon..I came home for lunch time and have spent it preparing everything for dinner tonight, doing dishes, vacuuming, and cleaning in general.
I was doing really well and feeling good, then I had an anxious or sad type feeling in the pit of my stomach come over me..like a disgusted feeling or "bad taste" in the mouth. I suddenly found myself thinking of bills and expenses, and then my mind wondered to my own personal feelings of inadequacy towards myself as a person, and then towards work as well. I dont 'know why i do it but I know it is related to why I binge. Does it make sense> anyone else go thru something like this?
I took my son to the dr again yesterday. My youngest is always prone to being sick, born that way and has stayed that way. His ear dr decided that he will have a new set of tubes placed in his ears next Wed. I am hoping that it finally will have Zak well, and not miss more days of school. I am battling the school over absences and stress dealing with teachers, worrying about my sons grades, etc.
I have things I want done here at home. I have a bathroom shelving unit I purchased two weeks ago. My son put one of them together for the kids bathroom, the other I bought for my bathroom is still sitting in the living room in the box. I keep hoping my husband will put it together and he hasn't..it started me down the line of should I ask him or not..then the other things I have wanted to ask him to do and haven't also ran thru my head...and I felt bad again. Its like I cant ask or expect him to do things without feeling bad. I want that shelf put together, I want the bathroom fan in the kids room fixed, and a few other things...he doesn't do them and isn't going to anytime soon-its been years.
Location: from Houston, TX—now in Maryland (Washington DC area)
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mainecyn, congratulations on your 8 days binge free! The more days you accumulate, the easier it gets...
By the way, y'all, I wrote a letter to Kathryn Hansen that she posted on her Brain Over Binge blog. Check it out: you may well find it helpful. =smile=
Mainecyn, I think you should gently ask your husband to assemble the bathroom shelving unit and fix the fan! He probably doesn't realize how much you want those things to be taken care of and would hopefully want to do it if he knows. Also, good job on 8 days binge free, how have the past couple of days been?
I've been gone from the thread for a while. Ended up enjoying Christmas food a little more than I'd intended (both in amount and how many days, it's tough when you have visitors!), but didn't do badly and am down 6 pounds since a month ago. Kind of relieved that there won't be anymore holidays until Valentine's Day and then my and my husband's birthdays 2 weeks later. Suppose I could have lost more weight the last month, but I'm happy with how things worked out. I really, really enjoyed Christmas. My goal is for my current way of eating to be long term and sustainable so I don't get burned out, and I think it's going well so far.
Tiny victory- on Monday, I was in a hurry and did not get any food before work. Got out of work at 3:30 and was very hungry and thirsty and knew it would be about an hour and a half before I got home. Decided to get a bottle of water from Subway. When I got in there, I felt even hungrier than before. Instead of getting a sub (I LOVE sandwiches), I got a salad with my water. It was really good, too! Lettuce, spinach, tomato, cucumber, bell pepper, olives, peperoncinis, a little shredded cheese, tuna, and their chipotle southwest sauce. Basically, my favorite sub without the bread and with spinach added.
After 10 days of not binging at night, I fell off last night and I think I consumed about 800 calories
But today is a new day and after reading the posts on here from the weekend, I am not going to beat myself up. I am going to the gym for the 12 in a row today and getting back on the horse to kick my arse and put last night behind me. And I will not cry even tho I want to because I'm so disappointed.
Things have not gone well. I have been eating everything I shouldn't, even planning it before i get out of bed. I also noticed that yesterday I actually ate things I shouldn't at my sons bday, no one said anything no one asked anything. I have been over eating so much but didn't over eat in public. I think it honestly was a cry for help, have someone ask something, say something, know that something is wrong...nothing.
I am trying to figure out how to do this, how to control this, and how it has become so bad..so life altering. I know I went downhill after falling off intermittent fasting..I wouldn't eat all day and then would eat at 5 pm...After I stopped doing that it has become uncontrollable...the binging. Im not hungry, my stomach says nothing and I don't need to eat but I am stuffing a bag of chips in, or eating cheesecake for breakfast. I don't know.
I am at day one again of trying to control what I am eating...who knows. I have been very busy at work this week, lots of stress, and I also haven't been online much because i haven't had time or haven't made time. I know I do better when I visit her, I control my eating, less likely to binge. I have cut myself off from a bunch of online friends, find that I also would rather not be around anyone...everyone gets on my nerves or even visiting is a chore. I don't know whats wrong with me..but its all tied together these symptoms and the binge eating.
I could feel it sneaking up on me last night, i can't explain the feeling but it was coming. Generally, I ignored it most of last night but this morning and afternoon it was harder to. I started off eating what was purely allowed, and by late afternoon was crossing over into some questionable stuff that I generally don't eat but found myself wanting too. I was bored with the choices I had and also that binging feeling is coming. I'm frustrated, bored, upset, anxious, and just don't know whats gonna happen next. At least Monday is here soon and it means I will be gone back to work so not here at home with thoughts of eating things to deal with stress or when I'm upset or angry.
. If I get out of the house even to take a walk the temptation subsides for a bit
