This takes a lot for me to put out there, but I need to get it off my chest.
Five years ago I was raped by someone that I thought I could call a friend. I felt ashamed, ugly and so sad. I turned to food and smoking cigarettes as a way to cope. I was able to quit smoking, but food has remained an addiction for me. It was so comforting to eat but also I was trying to gain a lot of weight on purpose. In my messed up mind at the time I thought that if I was really fat no one would find me sexually attractive and it would protect me from getting raped again. I gained 100 pounds. After therapy and making some progress in healing emotionally, I learned from others that being raped has nothing to do with being sexually attractive or not. Rape is about power and having control over other people.
Now that I've come a long way emotionally, I have started my weight loss journey. Yes I overate for a reason but that was still no excuse for my self destructive behavior. The straw was that I couldn't make it up a flight of stairs without loosing my breath and I'm only 24. I want to get healthy again- maybe I won't be as thin as I was before but I need to get better. It's tough because as I lose weight people notice and complement me but then I freak out because people are noticing me again.
I guess I'm just looking to get this out there- but if there are any others out there that have been through similar situations that would help me to know that I'm not alone. Any advice is always appreciated.