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Sabotage, last lbs, binging

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Old 09-23-2013, 11:38 AM   #1
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Default Sabotage, last lbs, binging

Hey all! I think my post belongs here, although I am not sure? Anyway, I just joined today and decided to post my problem, after having lurked for a long while I am just jumping in and asking for help!!!

My issue is that I have lost and regained my last pounds around 5 times just this year. I am aware of what causes the regain. It all starts when someone says: "you look skinny!!!" Well that is the kiss of death to me!!! Just as I reach the weigh I am comfortable in, "compliments" start pouring in and I don't know what happens inside my head as in that moment sabotage begins. And I quote the word compliments, because they are not really compliments, they are more like "tell me how you did it... oh you did it like THAT?... no that can't be done, I can't do that", which obviously plants the seed in my mind that I am a fluke and it is just an illusion and that I can't possibly sustain my loss because nobody else can, and seriously who do I think I am to be able to lose the weight?

Sabotage, sabotage, sabotage.

Sabotage as in binging behavior, which starts happening nightly. I behave so good during the day, but as night comes, I start craving cookies and candy. I am just, well, not able to stop myself, as victimizing as that sounds . I completely forget that I promised to be good to myself that very morning. I forget about my goals, my desires, my need to be healthy. I have this deep desire to soothe myself, my thoughts are the "life sucks, everything sucks, I need some joy and happiness in my life" variety. Does that make sense?

The pounds start piling up after that, and my negative defeating thoughts start appearing during the day. I literally hurt myself from the moment I wake up. The thoughts start yelling inside my head: you are no good, you can't keep doing this to yourself, how can you hurt yourself like this?, you always promise and never deliver, what is wrong with you?

Of course this negativity affects me on so many levels!

I need advice on 2 things. First, how can I stop sabotaging myself after skinny compliments? Secondly, how can I stop the current binge streak?

Thanks anyone who takes the time to read this!

ETA: I eat 5 meals a day, lots of protein in each meal. Exercise junkie: 5 days a week, 2 hour sessions. Have dinner late around 9pm because I workout 6:30-8:30. Already in therapy, the psychological type not the behavioral one, my therapist believes all my obsessions, including binging, will cease to cause trouble when I solve the underlining issues, which I agree but it's taking so long my body can't wait.

Last edited by ggbsy : 09-23-2013 at 12:04 PM. Reason: Add info.
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Old 09-23-2013, 12:07 PM   #2
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Originally Posted by ggbsy View Post
they are more like "tell me how you did it... oh you did it like THAT?... no that can't be done, I can't do that", which obviously plants the seed in my mind that I am a fluke and it is just an illusion and that I can't possibly sustain my loss because nobody else can, and seriously who do I think I am to be able to lose the weight?
It sounds like you have excellent insight into your own mind. The reason people say it's impossible is that they can't imagine themselves keeping it up. But you can and you are. You've found what works for YOU and are continuing to fine-tune it. Just say "la la la," block your mental ears, and carry on.

I can relate to what you're written, because my methods of weight loss, and now maintenance, are quite different from what most people on this site seem to do. I eat a high carb diet (about 300 g or 60% of my 2,000-calorie total), including some -- gasp -- white-flour-based products. I drink about 8 ounces of wine most days. I drink no plain water at all -- just coffee, tea, wine, and flavoured sparkling water. I do include protein in most meals, but find that macronutrient composition makes absolutely no difference in my satiety level. I have no off-limit foods. I have occasional planned binges (usually at all-you-can-eat sushi places).

When I read what other people do, I find myself thinking that my methods can't possibly work, all evidence to the contrary (going on 2 years of maintenance). I, too, have days and weeks when I sabotage myself. I have to continually remind myself that what works best for others isn't necessarily what works best for me.

Keep on keeping on!

Freelance
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Last edited by freelancemomma : 09-23-2013 at 12:10 PM.
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Old 09-24-2013, 01:16 PM   #3
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Default Agreed, thanks

Thank you Freelance!!! It is such a mind game isn't it? I agree, I need to be firm in my beliefs so that what others say doesn't affect me. La-la ears!!! Need to develop that.

PS. I wish I could eat what you do!!!
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