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Avoid Dinner With Family to Stay On Diet?

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Old 08-05-2013, 02:19 PM   #1
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Default Avoid Dinner With Family to Stay On Diet?

Hello, All. I just need a place to vent about my diet worries at the moment.

My brother and I have different dads. His dad's birthday was in July, and we both forgot about it, so we called him today and he wants us to take him to dinner. I don't HAVE to go, but my brother hates spending time alone with his dad (lots of different reasons I don't want to go into right now) and really wants me along for support.

I WANT to be there for him, but I don't want to go out to dinner. I know that if I go, I will go way off my diet; I'm just being honest about that right now. The thought is really upsetting to me right now.

I guess I could just go off my diet for the dinner and then not eat anything else the rest of the day. I've only consumed 350 calories thus far, and I allow myself up to 1500. I know myself though, if I go out to eat, I will WAY overdo it, consuming at LEAST 2,000 calories in one sitting if not more!

I guess I'm asking: Should I go with my brother and risk going off my diet, or make up an excuse to stay home? Saying "I'm on a diet" isn't going to cut it. My family doesn't think I need to lose weight. They don't understand.
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Old 08-05-2013, 03:32 PM   #2
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You are helping your brother, can you ask him to help you by keeping you on your diet?
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Old 08-05-2013, 06:17 PM   #3
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Why do you have to goo off your diet ? There are plenty of healthy choices in restaurants.
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Old 08-05-2013, 06:38 PM   #4
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Is it the single cheat meal that is stressing you, or is more that you're afraid going off plan the once would derail you entirely?
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Old 08-05-2013, 06:47 PM   #5
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I would just choose a healthy choice at a restaurant.
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Old 08-05-2013, 07:26 PM   #6
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There are lots of things you can order, look for grilled meat and the veggie sides. You will have to learn to eat in restaurants sometime as whatever way of eating you are using to take off the weight will have to be incorporated into a plan for the rest of your life.
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Old 08-05-2013, 08:12 PM   #7
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Zima

Don't avoid the party's, I thought sat, it was my granddaughters birthday party, this will bring me undone. I stayed focused, I made home made pizzas on muffins, I made sure mine were full of the vegies only put a little cheese on top,

Ate enough for breaki and lunch to keep me from not feeling hungry, saved my calories for the night. I even had wine and a little bit of cake. The best of all was, Never missed out and wasn't hungry.

Challenge what scares you the most and you won't be afraid,to go to functions, look at the food on the table and work out what you can have and eat lots of it

I don't tell anyone I'm dieting

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Old 08-05-2013, 08:34 PM   #8
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You should go to the dinner.

Then you have a couple of options.

First, do nothing and you might gain.

Secondly, eat healthily off the menu and contain the damage e.g. salads, fish, seafood.

Thirdly, and I have done this several times, do as you propose and keep the rest of the day and even the next day super low calorie.

I will even confess that on the rare occassion that I had to eat off plan through choice and company that I would fast the next day.

I wouldn't worry too much though. It's not the one-offs that make you gain weight long-term but what you eat day-to-day and in front of the TV.
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Old 08-05-2013, 09:04 PM   #9
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Thanks for your responses everyone! I love reading about what other people have done in similar situations and also other advice.

I ended up going to the dinner. I'm glad that I went because dad was happy to see his kids, and my brother would not stop thanking me afterward.

Ian G, you sound like me. When I'm in social situations, I often find myself overeating and overdrinking. I have fasted because of this as well.

Here's my run-down of the experience:

The Bad: We went to Old Country Buffet. I ate wayyyy too much.

The Good: I worked out for about two hours today. I'm not eating any more today. Back on track immediately.

Going out to eat with people is a huge problem for me. I know I need to get it under control. It's going to take time and practice, and I'm so glad I have you guys to help me stay accountable
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Old 08-06-2013, 12:14 AM   #10
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Small steps. Now that you've been out to dinner, you are more prepared for next time. Each time, it will get a little easier! I know it's hard, but don't beat yourself up if you fall off the wagon. (I need to take my own advice on that one.)
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Old 08-06-2013, 01:58 AM   #11
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Well, there will always be birthdays and holidays and restaurants and vacations, etc. At some point you have to come up with a strategy to deal with the things like this that life throws at you. I use IF as one of my main coping methods. So, I wouldn't consider it a cheat or going off plan. I would just choose an eating window for that day that works for the timing of that event and call it done. Fast five--eating all food for the day within 5 hours--is one of my favorites for a celebration day.

If I still feel like I overdid it (Thanksgiving pig out style) I would also eat very light the next day.
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Old 08-11-2013, 09:13 PM   #12
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Could you please tell me what IF is

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Old 08-12-2013, 01:13 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by scood View Post
Mariposssa

Could you please tell me what IF is

Scood
It means Intermittent Fasting. It just means you eat within a certain window of time, a popular choice is 12 noon to 6 pm but people choose the time frame that suits their lifestyle. The purpose is that by limiting the time you eat you will eat fewer calories.
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Old 08-12-2013, 07:03 AM   #14
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You should go. Eating over plan one night isn't going to make you pack on the pounds.
Can you ask the waiter (a server is what I think they are in USA) to put half of your meal in a paper bag ('doggie bag' in NZ) to take home and eat later? I don't know anything about USA restaurants, but can you choose small meals instead of regular? Another option, as suggested by others, is to choose a salad or low-cal meal. You may have to skip out on dessert this time.
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