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Aaaach! Out of Control! Help!

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Old 07-15-2013, 02:27 PM   #1
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Default Aaaach! Out of Control! Help!

I don't know, what the heck??? Last week I did so well. I had my mind set that this was it. I committed to doing this until Halloween...just a pretty short term goal, right? Then I had a dinner party. There were all kinds of delicious things to eat. I figured I'd just continue to track my calories. If I went over a bit, I'd just get back on the wagon and start again. No, not even! I have been eating everything in sight for the last three days. Not tracking calories, thinking of giving up again. Why can't I do this? I have tried over and over. It'll last a week or a month or even longer. Then something sets me off and I feel like I just want to eat anything and everything I want and that's it. I don't care, I just want to eat it all. Why can't I be normal? Why can't I have control over this? So tired of having this problem. This is the biggest troubling issue of my life! Any suggestions world be much appreciated. I see the tickers on some of your posts showing how much weight you have lost. I am so happy for all of you who have done this. Why can't I do it?
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Old 07-15-2013, 04:06 PM   #2
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You CAN do this!! I know that I personally have faltered many, many times. It took years of trying to eat well and workout before I finally figured out what was right for me. Once I was in the right mindset and had the right tools, the weight finally started coming off.

What really worked for me was how I thought of food. My biggest problems were: snacking without being hungry, drinks when out with friends, and being afraid of hunger (that caused me to eat before ever leaving the house, even if I wasn't hungry, to avoid being hungry later).

I realized that if I wanted to change, I needed to change how I thought of food. I began to think of food as fuel for my body. It wasn't there to satisfy a craving, or comfort me, or relieve boredom. It is only there to give my body nutrients. I tried to increase my protein and fiber with every meal (I don't remember why, but those were the nutrients I focused on). And I worked out 30 minutes a day. When I craved something, I calculated how many minutes on the elliptical it would take to burn off. 24 minutes for a candy bar? No thank you!! Saying "no" to extras, whether directly offered by others or just in my head, became my go to answer instead of "yes". And I started ordering water when out with friends, even at last call.

And guess what...it started to become routine. It became easy to acknowledge and pass by the brownies at work, the wine at dinner, and the snack cravings. After about 20 years (my whole life that I could remember) of being chubby/overweight, I took 6 months to loose about 35 lbs. And I've kept it off for 5 years!

My point is, YOU CAN DO IT!! I used to always make excuses as to why I would always be at least a size 14, until I finally did it. You just keep trying. Maybe calorie counting feels too restrictive for you? Then try another way. Feel guilty that you fail for a few days? Look at the fact that you were GREAT for a few days before that! I still have my "bad" days, but now I just accept them and tell myself that the next day...heck, the next meal....will be healthier. You CAN do this!
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7/1/13 My Goal: to be 150lbs! for every mini goal met
Mini goal 1: 160 (my lowest consistent weight)
Mini goal 2: 156 (my lowest adult weight EVER)
Mini goal 3: to SEE 150 (New territory!!)
GOAL: To have a fluctuation be UNDER 150
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Old 07-15-2013, 04:55 PM   #3
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Thank you, Andrea. Your thoughts and suggestions have been helpful. I sometimes start to think that I must the only person in the world who eats like I do. Just hearing from someone else in the same boat (or formerly in the same boat) is reassuring. Thinking of food as fuel is a great suggestion. Usually I just think "I want it" so I have to have it. Also, faltering just seems to set me off where I feel like ill never be able to do this, so I just give up. I know I have to find what is right for me. One thing I know I have to do is plan. Otherwise I get hungry and just grab something. Usually that will be fast food or junk food. If I have a plan, I stick to it better. I know whole grains keep me feeling full, so I'll give up the ciabatta bread. Lots of baby steps!
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Old 07-16-2013, 10:47 AM   #4
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When I read your post I thought to myself that you sound a lot like me. I try and try and try again to lose weight. I set a start date and follow a diet for 2 or 3 weeks then I have a major failure that I can't seem to stop. It's so much frustration and inner fighting being this way. I will conquer this though, I will DO this. One thing is for sure here... WE CAN NEVER GIVE UP on this battle!
I found this site to help me in this fight and find the encouragement that I need. I'm happy to see so many people with positive and never give up attitudes. Each day start by saying YOU ARE WORTH IT and end each day the same.
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Old 07-17-2013, 06:10 PM   #5
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Thanks for your thoughts, Sandy. It's really encouraging to hear from others like myself. It's the constant struggle in my head that's driving me bonkers. I do fine for a while then kick myself really hard when I blow it. I do it over and over. I've been visiting this board on a regular basis just to help find some strength.
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Old 07-20-2013, 10:24 PM   #6
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I do the exact same thing. Either it's that I can't start a diet because I can't stop stuffing my face with anything and everything, or I've been doing really well on a diet for two weeks and I figure, I can have just one brownie, and then it starts all over again.

Have you seen the studies on food addiction? Highly processed carbs, in particular, can cause problems with addiction in some people. They say table sugar is more addicting than cocaine.

There's an interesting report that came out recently about how certain carbs activate the same pathways in the brain as drug addiction. Just search milk shake food addiction on google and a cnn article about it will come up.

I've concluded that I have a food addiction, because I literally cannot stop eating after I've had certain foods; brownies, cookies, and icecream being the worst offenders. The feeling I get when I don't continue to eat them once I've started is worse than the regret I feel after eating an entire batch, so I just eat. Everything I've seen on food addiction supports this.

So I've decided not to eat ANYTHING that triggers it, EVER, because I know I won't be able to stop, and I don't even want them after I haven't eaten them in awhile.

Might work for you, might not! But that has helped me

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Old 07-20-2013, 10:48 PM   #7
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lbsgobyebye, I figured out a long time ago that I am a food addict. I think food addiction is not really understood. It seems harder to find help for this kind of eating disorder. Your statement about table sugar being more addicting than cocaine is interesting. I will look for the CNN article you spoke of. I still haven't gotten it together and am eating everything in sight. How long has it been since you've eaten any of yout "trigger" foods?
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Old 07-21-2013, 02:28 AM   #8
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i am in the same boat... been 'good' for a while and slipping now... i am eating everything at sight especially at night, and I dont see anything, i will buy ice creams, etc... sigh sigh sigh...
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Old 07-21-2013, 06:55 PM   #9
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I'm sorry to hear you guys are having such a hard time! It really is tough once it gets it claws into you.

I think most people don't believe food addiction exists. They don't understand that the feeling we get when we eat certain foods is not the same feeling they get when they eat those foods. So they assume there's a different, underlying issue that's causing us to keep eating, and we just need to realize what it is and address THAT issue. They don't realize that the real issue is eating that first cupcake or whatever in the first place.

It would be like if someone took a person who had never smoked cigarettes, and a person who was addicted to cigarettes for ten years and then quit, gave them both a cigarette, and then wondered why the previous addict desperately wanted another cigarette. After all, they smoked the exact same thing, right? And then this person advised the prior addict to sit down and think about 'what was really bothering them, and once they figured it out, they wouldn't want another cigarette anymore! Or to 'simply' listen to their body, because their body couldn't possibly be telling them to have another cigarette!

People who've never been addicted to food just don't see it like that because they've never experienced it.

What really helped me was to realize that I am addicted to food. I will always be thinking about food whether I eat it or not. It was a tough pill to swallow, but once I accepted that it was ALWAYS going to be this hard, it made it easier to deal with.

Once I realized I am an addict, my whole perception of eating changed. If I saw a chocolate cupcake, I would still want it desperately, but I knew now that if I ate it, I would want another one just as bad as I wanted the first one as soon as I finished it, and another one after that, and after that. ALWAYS. Eating it wouldn't satisfy me, and it wouldn't make me feel better. In fact, it would make me feel worse, because now not only would I want another chocolate muffin just as badly as I did before, but I'd also be regretting eating the first one, AND hating myself for it, AND I'd be 1/4lb fatter to boot.

I saw this all before I ate that first muffin, and it suddenly made 100% sense to me why I binge the way I do - because I literally cannot stop once I get started, so it made it easier to not get started.

The really awesome thing though, and something I didn't expect, is that after a number of days, my cravings completely disappeared. And I do mean completely. Right now I could literally sit at a table full of all of my favorite desserts, and not feel tempted to eat even one of them! When I thought I'd crave food intensely every day of my life for the rest of my life, I was wrong. I'm able to diet now, but the best thing is that food doesn't have a deathgrip on my mind anymore. I don't think about it all day anymore. Actually, I hardly ever think about it. The freedom is absolutely wonderful.

What do you think? Does this ring true for you?

Last edited by lbsgobyebye : 07-21-2013 at 06:56 PM.
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Old 07-23-2013, 07:48 PM   #10
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Unhappy Me too littlefatcat

I'm in the exact same boat. Every morning I say today's going to be different. I have a green smoothie for breakfast, and by lunch I'm starving. So I get something bad like fast food for lunch. Then I say alright I need to have a light dinner to make up for the bad lunch. I get home from work and figure well I already messed up today so I can get back on track tomorrow. So I binge on pizza, ice cream, etc. I really wish I knew how to break the cycle
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Old 07-23-2013, 08:00 PM   #11
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dbabytro:
You sound just like me. I keep repeating this behavior. Start out with all good intentions in the morning, and by the end of the day...same old thing. Hopefully, we can figure it out. I'm just trying to take one day at a time right now. I'll just keep reading posts by others who are going through the same thing and try to stay motivated. Best wishes to you!
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Old 07-25-2013, 04:27 PM   #12
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for me, tracking calories became a way that i could somewhat control myself. if i ate 4000 calories on monday, i'd log it. if i did it again on Tuesday, i'd log it. and so on. eventually i've noticed i've gotten better at denying my food impulses because i dont want to log them because it makes me feel disappointed in myself.

but i agree with everyone else - you are not alone - and sometimes how we view food needs to be changed before we can
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Old 07-26-2013, 08:05 PM   #13
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I'm going through this exact same thing right now. Reading this thread is like looking into my own thoughts.

This has been my routine lately: I go to work (I only work part-time), I drive home and I stop at 7-11 to get chips and cheese, and a package of "hostess" cupcakes. I get home, eat about half the bag of chips with the cheese, and one cupcake. The entire time, I'm thinking "You're so stupid, what are you doing? You need to lose weight. You need to stop doing this". But the excitement? that I get when purchasing, transporting, and then indulging in the treats is just so overwhelming that I can't be detoured.

Had a really good talk with my husband last night and I'm doing really well with eating today, but I'm already craving all kinds of bad foods and just imagining the feeling/taste of them as I stuff them in my mouth and gorge...I need to get a grip!

Anyways, I know exactly what you're going through!
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Old 07-29-2013, 09:12 PM   #14
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I'm a binger why I don't know????? I buy skinny cow ice cream tubs (120 cals) and I make a diet jelly every day, so if I get that urge to pig out I have something there I can have. You can eat the whole jelly which I do. Seems to stop the binge, and give me time to think "what are you doing"

I live in Australia so I don't know if you have skinny cow, I'm not really a sweet eater but don't you love it when a work mate dangles chocolate in front of you trying to sabotage your efforts. I just said bad luck I'm not a chocky eater. Made me a bit cranky she would do that

Keep fighting the urge it is like an addiction, people don't understand that. I'm fighting with myself at the moment because the scales aren't saying what my effort feels like

I am not going to give in, I wasn't going to weigh myself, but what did I do then felt annoyed, but up I get. Keep going it only my 5th day

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