I'm not sure how to stop this cycle. After college I became a strict diet/exerciser and went from about 140lb to 117 at my lowest (I'm 24 years old, 5'4'' female). Around that time I started dating a guy who typically prefers bigger girls, and found out my parents were getting divorced and my dad was having some serious alcohol problems. Somehow all these things came together and I started eating more, and thinking hey I could stand to gain a few pounds. Now it's three months later and I'm bouncing between 130-135 pounds. I'm ashamed of what I've done to my body and want to lose weight, but I've begun a terrible restrict/binge cycle. This week I ate about 900 calories for five days and exercised 90 minutes a day, but then yesterday ate about 5000 calories and today 2000. I feel out of control and I'm not sure what to do to break the cycle. I'm feeling very alone and hopeless that I'll ever achieve a normal diet/happy body image. I feel like I do so well during the week and then lose it on the weekend. I want to do a 1200 calorie a day diet with one cheat day, but my cheat always seems to lead to a binge. ugh