Binge addiction
 

Since I was sixteen I have always had issues with food. I can't even go past three days without binge eating! When I say binge eating, I don't mean that I eat until I am really full and maybe it hurts a little. I mean, I think I am gonna have to go to the hospital because I am about to rip my stomach open. How does someone do that to themselves....and consistently no less? I see a lot on these forums about how acknowledging it is the first step but I've been acknowledging it for the past ten years and it has made no difference. It has gotten to the point where I don't even care about weight anymore but just want to be able to treat my body with a little respect! Is that so much to ask!?! No one deserves the kind of punishment I put on myself, yet I keep doing it. I've tried everything!!! I feel beyond hopeless!



:(

I have done the same thing my entire life - and have never been able to control the behavior as well. I too was at the point where I didn't care about my weight and have recently realized that I was committing a form of suicide.

I've always dealt with anxiety issues and am working my way through the depression that coincides with decades of panic - and, along the way, realized that my binging was the only control I felt I had over my life. I felt (sometimes still feel) that I will never be able to overcome my panic or even be able to get through the day without these feelings controlling every aspect of my life. Eating seemed to make me feel better - and became my drug of choice. I have come to realize that eating (or any form of compensatory coping) was only prolonging my suffering. I started to see a therapist who helped me see all these things - and that I was capable of controlling my thoughts and behavior. With help, I am slowly gaining control over the panic. I still fight everyday with the panic, but don't feel as though there is no hope for me.

Long story short - maybe eating is your drug of choice and is just a symptom of something larger. Maybe acknowledging the "something larger" will allow you to gain control of your eating?

Just my opinion. If nothing else, please know that you're not alone with this. :hug:

You're not alone. I've also had a binge eating disorder, but mine started around 18 years of age (I'm 42). I wish I had an answer for you but I don't because even though I've managed to lose weight many times, I've gained it back just as many times.

I can just tell you that here's what is working now. Structure. I need structure. I also need to do something different than what I've ever done before. For me, it has to FEEL different.

So, by structure, I need to calorie count. I count the obsessively and I keep track of them on an iPhone app called LoseIt but there are others that people like (e.g. sparkpeople.com). Is it fun to count calories? No, not at all, but you get used to it.

Something different that I do now is I do IF. Intermittent Fasting. I stop eating at whatever hour and don't eat for about 15-16 hours. I sleep for lots of that time, so it's really not bad. If I stop eating Dinner at 7 pm then I eat again the next day around 10 or 11 or even 12 if I feel fine. It takes a little getting used to and it's not for everyone but it gives me that full feeling because when I finally do eat, I can consume the same number of calories in a day but in a shorter time frame.

A lot of bingers like IE (Intuitive Eating). There's a book on it but I can't remember the name. Anyway, I haven't been able to eat until just full and then just stop. The idea is that dieting causes eating issues but I just can't do it...but I sure hope to some day. I don't really want to count calories forever...but even if that's what it takes, it's worth it because it's better than that out of control feeling I have from binge eating.

I wish you the best of luck!

Yes, I count calories. I'll even continue to count them while binging and the numbers get quite scary. I have tried the intermittent fasting and when I am able to follow through with that plan it works for me. I just always seem to fall off the wagon. It's odd because my father was a body builder while I was growing up and gave me a vast amount of knowledge about health and fitness. I even became a personal trainer but I can't even follow my own advice.
It's nice to actually be able to tell someone and talk about it, though. Thank you for that. I think I will look into the intuitive eating and see what that is about too.

You are not alone, I binge every three to four days, at least. Instead of getting better its getting worse as I get older. I always thought it was a young woman thing but here I am forty years old now and its worse than ever after being clean for a couple years. I don't know why I started up again, in all honesty that switch just got turned back on..there are days like this weekend were I binge all day long and other days where its an hour or so apart. Always during a binge I am always ruining of the next one, what it will be, food wise, and do I need to go pick up something. Its horrible.

I do have to say also did intermittent fasting, it worked well for me to drop weight, however doing it seemed to speed up the binge eating, I would go all day and then when I ate the brain seemed to begin binge thinking again, it got to where the fasting didn't last as long or I spent hours eating and eating horrible food, then fast again.