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-   -   Anyone manage to quit dieting with positive results #2 (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/chicks-control/282735-anyone-manage-quit-dieting-positive-results-2-a.html)

freelancemomma 06-18-2013 06:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by krampus (Post 4774702)
The other night I ummmm "visited the 1960s," lucy in the sky with diamonds, whatever you want to call it

"Took a walk in the foliage," perhaps? Oh wait, it probably wasn't foliage.

;) F.

KittyKatFan 06-18-2013 09:47 PM

This is a really interesting thread, particularly because I'm in the middle of reading "Intuitive Eating" and it has already helped me turn a corner, I think :)

I have been getting treatment for BED, and have made tremendous progress, IMO, on the binging side. I am much better able to reduce the pre-binge anxiety and the urges to binge. When I have binged, I have been able to contain the damage to one day and get back on track, compared to the "well, I will get back to it on Monday" mindset I used to have.

My biggest challenge has been restriction. Not because I wanted to lose weight, but because of an intense fear that I would gain weight if I ate everything prescribed by the treatment team's meal plan. I have been very resistant to letting go and giving myself totally to the process.

I'm not even halfway through IE and I feel like I can do it. The center where I go teaches us that IE is the way to go but I worried so much about eating past fullness (like others have cited, I have trouble reading fullness cues). But now I understand that the meal plan is there to help me with identifying the portion sizes that are appropriate and will get me to fullness.

Anyway, I also read Overcoming Overeating and yes, IE is similar. But IE has just clicked for me. The scales are out of the house, I am choosing the foods I crave rather than just going for what I think I "should" eat, and I even succeeded in eating a donut for breakfast guilt-free (a donut challenge started my last two binges :(). I still think I may be eating too much, but like clockwork, the hunger cues have popped up every 3-4 hours.

Still early days, but I feel so proud and confident. And free.

DanielleGraceP 06-20-2013 06:05 PM

Intuitive Eating is one of my favorite books! I also love Women, Food, and God. I gave up dieting a few years ago and can honestly say it really helped me kick binging to the curb. It was certainly a process and didn't work for me right away but with enough time and persistence it did. I also found it very important to be really kind and loving to myself and not beat myself up for every slip up I had. I got really aware too of all the feelings I was pushing aside by eating. This helped immensely!

kellycg102 06-21-2013 10:20 AM

Ok so I haven't posted in awhile........still trying to figure me out....wow quite a job lol I have an appointment with a counsellor who specializes in having a healthy relationship with food. It is pricey $160 for an hour and I have no coverage, so I am not sure how often I can go, or how often she would like me to see her. My appointment isn't until July 9th but I have been doing low carb for a couple months with a couple slip ups, but haven't lost anything. So I thought why the **** am I doing this and getting no results. At least the first time I lost 50lbs.......results help to stay on track. So I am on day 2 of not dieting....again. Gosh it is scary.....and just hard to let go of everything I have learned over the years about how I "should" eat......I do know that I have to be careful with carbs.....only becuase as much as I love them, I feel like crap when I eat them. So just trying to eat healthy, have something if I want it and try not to binge.

Pinkhippie 06-27-2013 10:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KittyKatFan (Post 4775014)
This is a really interesting thread, particularly because I'm in the middle of reading "Intuitive Eating" and it has already helped me turn a corner, I think :)

I have been getting treatment for BED, and have made tremendous progress, IMO, on the binging side. I am much better able to reduce the pre-binge anxiety and the urges to binge. When I have binged, I have been able to contain the damage to one day and get back on track, compared to the "well, I will get back to it on Monday" mindset I used to have.

My biggest challenge has been restriction. Not because I wanted to lose weight, but because of an intense fear that I would gain weight if I ate everything prescribed by the treatment team's meal plan. I have been very resistant to letting go and giving myself totally to the process.

I'm not even halfway through IE and I feel like I can do it. The center where I go teaches us that IE is the way to go but I worried so much about eating past fullness (like others have cited, I have trouble reading fullness cues). But now I understand that the meal plan is there to help me with identifying the portion sizes that are appropriate and will get me to fullness.

Anyway, I also read Overcoming Overeating and yes, IE is similar. But IE has just clicked for me. The scales are out of the house, I am choosing the foods I crave rather than just going for what I think I "should" eat, and I even succeeded in eating a donut for breakfast guilt-free (a donut challenge started my last two binges :(). I still think I may be eating too much, but like clockwork, the hunger cues have popped up every 3-4 hours.

Still early days, but I feel so proud and confident. And free.

Im glad you mentioned the IE book. I always loved Overcoming Overeating but IE takes it so much further. I just started reading it and I am really happy with it so far. Im so glad IE is working for you!

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanielleGraceP (Post 4776365)
Intuitive Eating is one of my favorite books! I also love Women, Food, and God. I gave up dieting a few years ago and can honestly say it really helped me kick binging to the curb. It was certainly a process and didn't work for me right away but with enough time and persistence it did. I also found it very important to be really kind and loving to myself and not beat myself up for every slip up I had. I got really aware too of all the feelings I was pushing aside by eating. This helped immensely!

Yes I think it really helps to become aware of what feelings I am stuffing down with food. Something that has really helped me feel aware is just always eating in the same place (at the dining room table) with nothing else to do other than eat. I find that I pay attention to my food and really am more aware of why I am eating and sometimes realize I am bored or sad or whatever.

Quote:

Originally Posted by surfergirl2 (Post 4774575)
Another benefit of letting go of the food guilt...you can actually tell how the food really makes you feel. This morning, i ate a very large, sugary breakfast, and i felt really tired afterward. No guilt, just tired. I think i always experienced that before, but it was covered up by the guilt...i never even knew that carbs actually made me physically tired, i thought it was just me being depressed!

I have found this to be totally true! Once the guilt voices go away you can start to notice how you feel. If you are busy beating yourself up for eating chocolate you don't even notice that actually suddenly you feel kind of light headed and tired. I am tuning even more into that and discovering I don't like how I feel when I have a bunch of sugary stuff.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kellycg102 (Post 4776667)
Ok so I haven't posted in awhile........still trying to figure me out....wow quite a job lol I have an appointment with a counsellor who specializes in having a healthy relationship with food. It is pricey $160 for an hour and I have no coverage, so I am not sure how often I can go, or how often she would like me to see her. My appointment isn't until July 9th but I have been doing low carb for a couple months with a couple slip ups, but haven't lost anything. So I thought why the **** am I doing this and getting no results. At least the first time I lost 50lbs.......results help to stay on track. So I am on day 2 of not dieting....again. Gosh it is scary.....and just hard to let go of everything I have learned over the years about how I "should" eat......I do know that I have to be careful with carbs.....only becuase as much as I love them, I feel like crap when I eat them. So just trying to eat healthy, have something if I want it and try not to binge.

How are you doing? It is scary to let go.

I have been plodding along on my journey. My journey is a little different because of the nursing but here is what I have discovered:

I am hungry. really really hungry. I can't deny myself anymore. When I am craving junk food, its actually because Im really hungry. Apparently breastfeeding lowers your blood sugar so when you need a quick fix the sugary goods appeal. But really twinkies are not what your body is trying to tell you it needs. Its thinking more along the lines of yams or carrots or fruit. So my old pattern was to eat a meal and then be done because I couldnt possibly eat any more than that because it was "too much". But I would feel like I wanted something sweet after the meal. Commence gorging on chocolate or ice cream or whatever. Because I actually still was hungry! So I was eating a treat to satisfy my hunger and ended up eating a ton of junk because its not really high up on the nutrition spectrum and my body was trying to get what it needs.

New pattern. Eat a meal. think to myself, does a treat sound really good right now? If it does, eat more food, have seconds whatever and suddenly I am aware I am at the satiation point and I realize sugary foods do not sound appealing in the least. Also if its between meals and I suddenly am craving a pop tart, I know take that as the sign that I am hungry. And I go get something to eat like REAL food. And then I feel fine. It took legalizing foods to realize this though. The other day I wanted a pop tart after lunch. I obviously allowed myself to have it but I ate it without guilt and realized hey I am actually still really hungry and this is NOT hitting the spot. So I put it away and made myself a sandwich. I find that I am not craving chocolate or treats anymore. I have a bar of chocolate that has been sitting untouched on the top of the fridge for almost two weeks now. This is unheard of in the past few years. I would have felt compelled to polish off the entire bar in a night or maybe two nights just so it wouldnt be in the house anymore. But if I wanted it, I would go eat it and it would be ok.

When I first legalized foods I ate a lot of cookies and donuts instead of meals. Then I started eating lots of cookies and donuts after meals. Then I started eating lots of pasta and breads. Then I suddenly realized I really wanted some protein and I went crazy on meat for a while. I just came out of that yesterday and am suddenly craving fruits and vegetables. I think our body really does know what we need if we can listen to it. I am still in the fledgeling stages and I know I will have steps forward and back. But I feel good about where I am going.

kellycg102 07-03-2013 12:38 PM

Gosh how am I doing......I am not sure really..lol. I was eating crap while camping, felt like crap....been back since Monday....went to the gym yesterday and today, trying to make healthier old choices that I know make me feel better. The problem is I want and crave junk food all the time, I don't really get tired of it. Still reading intuitive eating, but I have a large fill point and hard to not eat just for the sake of eating. I go to see my new counsellor next week, so really trying to just coast until then. Very hard not to jump on the low carb diet wagon again.....my pants are tight and I feel like people are looking at me thinking wow she has gained so much in so little time. Once I introduced carbs again, I hold more than usual so it is like a 7lbs gain, plus the crap eating for two weeks.....it is adding up. So that is me so far....trying to find my way!

CinnamonApples 03-21-2014 04:20 PM

Hi all! I have been reading the first part and this thread and find it so relevant. Looks like no one has posted for a while, but I hope to be read. This is my first post here ever, I joined 3FC just to post here, because I just had to. I would like your help... I have been dieting and I have been binging. I also feel that the only way out is to stop dieting, but I find it hard to let go. I have a severe anxiety about how I look and I always hope that if I could lose that weight and THEN do intuitive eating, it would be perfect. But, obviously, I wasn't successful at that if I am back to and over the weight I have started at. In fact, I was trying to get back in control for over a year, but... The more I try the worse it gets. I am not even able to follow a diet for a week anymore. Before, I was quite successful at restricting with only occasional binges, but with some circumstances that led to stress and anxiety, I turned to food... Anyway, how do you deal with giving up dieting while still wanting to lose weight? Also, do you still feel anxious about how you look? I am painfully aware of my body and I am trying hard to ignore negative feelings about it, but I just can't. My brain is screaming fat fat fat, I don't feel comfortable in my own skin, and my hands grab my belly fat with disgust... Not sure what to do. And, because of that stress over how I look, I only feel more anxious and want to binge more. I am aware that I am digging a hole to myself and I should just let myself be, but awareness does not change how I feel. I wish I could just shut off my brain and relax. How you were able to let go?

I have not lost my hunger signals, like I read some people have. Although I find it hard to wait until I feel hungry, especially when I am not busy doing other things. But, I do have problems with feeling satisfied. My mom used to make me clean the plate. I have some memories from my childhood when I felt awful full, but she forced me to finish. But at some point I stopped feeling this way, I learned to ignore that feeling and that was even before dieting. Now I am able to eat eat eat and yes, I do feel kinda full, but my brain does not scream STOP like it should. I can easily go past comfortable fullness. This was ok when I was eating low calorie food, actually I used to be glad that I can eat huge amounts of food and still be thin. That was when I was eating low calorie foods, but that's not what I am doing now... I think that my stomach is really stretched, so it is harder to understand when enough is enough with any kind of foods. Furthermore, when I try IE, I am afraid of stopping too soon. I am afraid of binging and so I overeat so that I wouldn't binge. I have tried IE a few times before, but I would only end up overeating. Eventually, I would say to myself that I can't do this and I need to be accountable and start counting calories again. Also when I attempt IE, I am eating lots of sweets and stuff that I would not like to eat not just for the weight, but also because it makes me feel bad and anxious. And, I eat it not because of hunger, but just because it tastes good, so that is probably even against IE. But for some reason, when I try IE, I feel like I Should eat everything, like it is part of a programme or something. What I am trying to say is that I want to eat healthy and I do not want to eat all that sugary crap that makes me feel bad afterwards, but I do, I guess to prove myself that I can. I don't know if I make any sense, but it hard to explain. I just wish I could Intuitively Eat healthfully.

When I am trying to ignore feelings about my looks and just try to enjoy living, it feels like faking, it feels like I am lying to myself, because deep down (not even so deep actually) I do want to look and feel good. At the same time I do want to enjoy life and let go. It's like I am in a trap and I don't know how to get out. I wish I have never went on a diet and that is another source of mourning for me, another reason why I feel bad. I think about all these years that I have ****ed up with dieting and I am terrified that I will never get my life back, that I will always be obsessed with food, never able to enjoy it, never able to just eat and not think about it 24/7.

Also, did you manage to become an intuitive eater on your own or did you have some support? I am attempting this on my own. I am in a normal weight range, so no one even suspects about my struggles with food. They would think I am crazy if I told that I binge eat. People think that only super skinny and really overweight have problems with eating.

It turned out to be a very long post. Sorry about that, but I have a lot on my mind. Much more than that! I'd be grateful for your advise. Thanks!!!!

Palestrina 03-22-2014 08:24 AM

Hi CinnamonApples, welcome to the forum. I read the anxiety in your post and I think you've come to a good place for support. There are a few of us here who are intuitive eaters, some of us have been doing it for a long time and others who are new. All the conflicting issues you have are very normal and typical with starting IE. My observation in your post is that you don't fully put your trust into the process yet, it's sort of like jumping off a cliff. You can't inch your way down but we all try to at first. Hey I know, it's scary!!!

There is an intuitive eating thread ongoing each month you can check in with:
http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/gene...ch-2014-a.html

And on the Chicks in Control forum there are threads that start with the the title IE which are all subjects covered through the lens of intuitive eating.
http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/chic...-go-diets.html
http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/chic...urn-diets.html
http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/chic...ar-hunger.html
http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/chic...ss-eating.html
http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/chic...vy-others.html

You'll see that you're not alone in feeling this way. I've gone through a similar process of feeling guilt over eating foods that I enjoy and wishing that I crave healthy foods. But I promise you, if you hand over a little trust to your body it will eventually start to treat you much better than you've been treating it. You will not bury yourself in a mountain of cake, and even if you do, your body will push through it. You just have to trust in yourself, go over that cliff so to speak.

Welcome and please stay, there is support here.

CinnamonApples 03-23-2014 05:09 AM

Hi Wannabeskinny! Thank you for the links - I will definitely go through those threads. You are right about my anxiety. I tend to be a perfectionist, so I feel disappointed for not being able to control what I eat any-more. I guess that is even more so, because everyone around me is striving to look their best and I was one of them for a long time until I fell off the vagon. A lot of pressure. I have just finished reading "How to Have Your Cake and Your Skinny Jeans" by Josie Spinardi - a great book indeed. I like that she acknowledges one's desire to be thin. And I am sure it would work if I ate when I am hungry and stopped when I am full, but even knowing that I can have anything I want when I am hungry, I still want it all and want it now. So it is hard to wait until I am hungry and then stop. When I had rules and portions there was less of willpower involved. Maybe things will get better with time. I hope so! How long did it take you to feel comfortable with IE?

Palestrina 03-23-2014 08:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CinnamonApples (Post 4968884)
Hi Wannabeskinny! Thank you for the links - I will definitely go through those threads. You are right about my anxiety. I tend to be a perfectionist, so I feel disappointed for not being able to control what I eat any-more. I guess that is even more so, because everyone around me is striving to look their best and I was one of them for a long time until I fell off the vagon. A lot of pressure. I have just finished reading "How to Have Your Cake and Your Skinny Jeans" by Josie Spinardi - a great book indeed. I like that she acknowledges one's desire to be thin. And I am sure it would work if I ate when I am hungry and stopped when I am full, but even knowing that I can have anything I want when I am hungry, I still want it all and want it now. So it is hard to wait until I am hungry and then stop. When I had rules and portions there was less of willpower involved. Maybe things will get better with time. I hope so! How long did it take you to feel comfortable with IE?

I was comfortable with IE right away. I'm not saying it hasn't been difficult because it has. But I finally started working on what's important. Diets were making me crazy, they took all the control out of my hands. I didn't like being told when to eat, what to eat, and how much to eat. I didn't like being told that I can't eat something. I didn't like judging myself for eating something off plan. And I especially did not like the way diets approached hunger, like it was something I had to push away, will away, grit through, trick, and not allow hunger to even happen. IE taught me that I was born with the skills I need, hunger and the ability to feed myself. And if I really listen to my body and cultivate those skills that I could build a normal relationship with food.

Your posts sound like you're coming from a good place but that you are confused. You don't know where to start. I would urge you to read Overfed Head (easy read, free pdf online if you google it). There's a lot of steps you can take, one is to eat everything you want for a few days until you get it out of your system. Another is to spend a few days allowing yourself to get really hungry between meals, just so that you can really wrap your mind around what the physical feeling of hunger is.

For me the first step was to eat mindfully. I sit down with my food without distraction, no tv/book/phone/computer, look at everything carefully, eat very slowly savoring each bite. Stay focused on what you're eating, don't zone out. Believe it or not this helped me a lot. None of the books mention mirrors but I find that watching myself eat in a mirror can be quite painful, but it helps me sometimes (when I can stand it) to face the real me. During that time I give myself loving thoughts like I am nurturing myself, that I am beautiful, that I deserve to eat just like everyone else, that there is no shame in eating etc. Halfway through the meal I take a nice long 2-3minute break. I go into the other room, get a glass of water, check my email, go to the bathroom, answer a phone call, put the clothes in the dryer, whatever I have to do to get myself away from the plate. Then I tell myself "when I go back to the food I can have as much of it as I want." But usually I find that the little break helps me tune in to my fullness signal and I usually don't want much more of it let alone the rest of it. I'm very happy with how this is working, and I'm eating all the foods I crave and actually enjoying them. Before I wasn't enjoying anything, I was saying hateful things to myself all the time during and after eating. It's amazing what a little self love will do.

CinnamonApples 03-23-2014 09:00 AM

I have downloaded that book and will read it shortly. Also, good tips regarding the mirror and a break. I eat alone a lot, so it may be useful to have someone "seeing" me (i.e. in the mirror). I never eat as crazy when I am with other people as I do when I am alone. Thank you!!! :)

Palestrina 03-23-2014 09:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CinnamonApples (Post 4968955)
I have downloaded that book and will read it shortly. Also, good tips regarding the mirror and a break. I eat alone a lot, so it may be useful to have someone "seeing" me (i.e. in the mirror). I never eat as crazy when I am with other people as I do when I am alone. Thank you!!! :)

All well and good, just make sure you don't use that mirror as a judge. You need to kill yourself with kindness my dear, don't let negative thoughts get in the way. The mirror is hard to take, maybe leave that out for a few days until you get accustomed to eating mindfully first.

CinnamonApples 03-23-2014 03:31 PM

Maybe. I haven't used it yet. I am thinking that it would be ideal to simply think less about food and give it less importance (easy to say). I never had to meditate and focus on the food and be mindful when I was a child, but I never had weight/eating problems when I was a child. Food was just food and that's it. Down it quickly and run outside to play. Food had way less space in my mind back then. But of course, life was different then, less stress, more fun and games.

SouthernMaven 03-26-2014 12:12 PM

I think it says a lot when this thread (and the original one, which exceeded 500 posts requiring this new one) has been resurrected by new people searching for an answer to the never-ending diet-go-round.

I've been re-reading The Overfed Head and I've just re-read the section where he discusses how pregnant women's cravings are accepted and expected, yet we reject those same urges in anyone else's body as being dangerous or somehow not worthy of honoring. It's particularly interesting because Wannabeskinny and I have discussed on other threads how we both ate completely intuitively while pregnant. For me, this began a 20-year cycle of eating intuitively with absolutely no weight gain until my late 40's when I started experiencing a small weight gain due to entering menopause. At this point I began dieting again and I've been battling the weight ever since.

This last few weeks I've found myself suddenly extremely busy. I started a new part-time job, I had jury duty for several days followed by a quick out-of-town trip, and now I'm back and still running. I've given almost zero thought to what I'm eating and have truly only eaten when I'm hungry. I haven't weighed (got rid of that albatross of a scale quite some time ago) but I can tell I've dropped a few pounds by the way my clothes fit.

I still have a way to go, but I can honestly say I'm finding real peace with food at last. I hope others who have stumbled across this thread as well as the many others we have here dealing with intuitive eating can find some answers for themselves.

Palestrina 03-26-2014 12:41 PM

Ah, the magic of pregnancy and being completely accepting of what your body needs. I spoke about this a little with my nutritional therapist and I suspect it will arise again in a subsequent visit. If only I could be pregnant all the time! What a serene feeling of self-acceptance and abundant love from those around her. I can't remember a time I was more self-nurtured and nurtured by everyone around me more than I was when I was pregnant. I was coddled almost. When a pregnant woman says she wants a cookie people stumble over themselves to get it for her, they don't judge and she doesn't judge herself. I ate everything I wanted during my pregnancy, except for a few restricted foods for obviously reasons (sushi, unpasteurized dairy, undercooked meats etc), but being unrestricted general was the first time I lost weight naturally weighing 10lbs less at the birth of my child than I did when I first got knocked up. It was wild!

And now I know why, because I listened to my body and gave it everything it wanted and everything it asked for. Because I didn't judge myself for the food choices I made. Because I wasn't embarrassed of myself and how I looked, the rounder the better lol!


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