I am a 26 year old girl who has been overweight since the age of 12. I currently weight 231 pounds, last year by this time I was weighting 207. Since i was 15 I have never been under 196. I went to a psychologist who told me that my weight was for me kind of a barrier from the world and that's why I never got to finish a diet, I must admit I think he is quite correct. I believe being overweight keeps boys away (I had a bad experience when I was a child and I have since then kind of rejected physical contact with the other sex) and also makes me believe that people who approaches me does in spite of all, knowing what it is there. I am really shy.
I have tried several times to diet but as soon as I get a little bit lighter I get happy so I indulge myself and I break it. I obviously gain weight again and I start all over again. Also I am a coeliac and allergic to nuts, lettuce and some fruits like peaches and strawberries. I think my problem is based on some pillars:
1.- I am sedentary. I work in a office seated 7 hours a day. I am an insomniac, so I am always tired and sleepy. Also, I have breathing issues (I will be operated of turbinate hypertrophy this summer) which make me feel even more tired when I walk. I pay a membership to a gym which I barely set a foot on. I am tired and the idea of going and being even more tired and feeling like running a marathon just by cycling doesn't sound appealing. I usually get into this vicious circle of: I will enjoy and go regularly to the gym when I get lighter because I won't get so tired nor need the inhalator. I know this is the first think to change, but somehow I never do it.
2.- I eat badly. There are numerous things I can't eat and my died has always been based on what my grandma cooks (and she is a big fan of pasta, rice and stews). I have a light breakfast, a repetitive lunch, no afternoon snack of supper. I, however, have no clue of how to eat healthy moving around my allergies, no online diet plan suits me. I think I have already come to terms with this since I have an appointment for both digestologist and endocrinologiest.
3.- I binge. A lot. I never know when I am full and I have this weird feeling I must always have my stomach full. I can't say no to food, I don't enjoy it because I have no sense of smell and thus my taste is no that good either. And the biggest problem here comes from the fact I store food in my room (I am living with my parents) and eat it 'secretly'. Always chocolate and chips, I have tried some 'healthier' things like rice snacks, but the package is still closed. I can easily eat one 4'5lbs chips' bag and a chocolate bar everyday. If I don't do it, I get really anxious, I can't concentrate, I kind of shake and I star searching for some chocolate or chips, so I usually refer to it as an addiction.
A couple weeks ago I went on a trip with some friends. I was always left behind because I couldn't keep up with them, I ate differently and at different times, I have seen the photographs and I can barely recognize myself. I came back and my work uniform barely fits me. So I have decided it is time to make some real changes. The problem is I don't know where to start or how to motivate myself to finish it.
By the way, sorry if this is not in the correct thread, it is my first post. Also, I am not a native English speaker so I am sorry about any mistakes