Mini Binge, but not beating myself up
Last night, for the first time in months, I let my emotional eating get the best of me.
I have been struggling with a particular student a work for 3 weeks now, and his aggressive/psychotic behavior it off the charts right now, even though I have been consistent with my expectations. I know that there is a lot more with this student, but usually he keeps himself in check with me. Well, not so much lately...
Then my doctor (she is a PA) didn't give me some important information regarding my birth control. I have been wanting to switch from the pill to an IUD, and everything was in place, except for getting an appointment with the actually doctor in the office. Well, my PA didn't know that you can not get the IUD put in at the office unless you have already had a child. Well, I don't EVER want kids, so they recommended that when I get my TT&BL this summer, to have an OB/GYN go in behind them and put it in. But that means getting a referral to an OB/GYN (which means another trip to the doctors, paying out of pocket), going to an office visit w/ the OB, which I would pay out of pocket. Then having them come in on surgery day and paying for that too!
I have crappy insurance, so I get 1 free office visit a year, so I am paying for everything! And my insurance company has already paid for the IUD, so if I can't figure out how to get the IUD in me cheaply, I don't know if they will take it back and if they will pay for something else.
Also, I am waiting for blood work to come back to find out if I have 2 different genetic clotting disorders, and if I do have them, the longer I am on the pill, the greater the chances are to having complications...
So after all of that, I ate much more than I should have. Probably double my calories for the day. I usually eat 1500-1600 calories per day, and I estimate I ate around 3000-3500 calories yesterday. This is a small binge for me, but like I said, the first I've had in a while. When I woke up this morning, my weight was only up 2.8 pounds, which I am thankful for, but it DID push me back into the 190's, which is the hard part.
But, I'm going to eat a little something for breakfast, and go hit the gym a little harder today, and let it go. I'm going to try and forget about the doctor stuff until Tuesday, when I will be able to talk to my PA and figure out what to do next. And I'm going to try and walk into work Monday with a better attitude, even though I know my student's behavior isn't going to change.