yes, keep us posted. Honestly you sound quite similar to me with the binge eating and OCD thing. I think when it comes to OCD dieting can be especially all consuming and obsessive. I would find myself thinking about my calories and food choices over and over and over again in my head to the point where I was making all kinds of mistakes at work because I could not get food out of my head. I think it's quite difficult for someone with OCD to apply alot of dietary rules/restrictions without it taking over everything.
For me I had to hit rock bottom with the obsession before I was willing to change. Basically, the eating disorder has to be bad enough for someone to want to put a weight loss goal on the back burner while they try and get a handle on the problem. It's a really tough thing to do and I'm not sure if someone can force it. I had wanted to get a handle on my eating disorder for several years (like more than a decade) but I just couldn't give up the desire to be perfect. I would try to convince myself that getting over my eating disorder was my main priority, but I was not being truthful with myself (even I believed the lie). Only when I put that idea of perfection to the side was I able to make progress. It DOES NOT mean someone has to give up their goal forever; only that they should put it on hold in the sake of getting better. Getting better takes trial and error sometimes, and weight fluctuations can occur during this time. If an increase on the scale is too terrifying during this time, it is likely to drive someone back to their disorder out of fear.
When I first began my quest to solve my eating disorder I really wasn't sure where to start. For me all I knew is that the disorder popped up immediately after an intense period of dieting and losing weight (went from about 120 to about 100 very quickly). So as much as I didn't want to, I reluctantly decided I would try giving up my restrictions (which seemed counterintuitive because I was so out of control I felt it only made sense to apply more control) since it was that that preceded my problem. I wasn't exactly even sure how to go about doing that because I had been doing it for so long. But my first step was to stop all "diet activity" which included counting calories and weighing myself. I knew I could not immediately change my brain, but I could immediately change my actions. I also read many many books and the books that began to really ring true to me were Brain Over Binge and anything by Jack Trimpey (I actually had to read these same books about 3 times before it really clicked). I read many other books too and they all helped in some way.
Through my journey trying to recover I learned there is no big cure for everyone. I went my particular way (with success I feel as I can't see another binge on the horizon) but heard from many others who took a different approach and recovered as well. Also my thoughts and ideas changed dramitcally during the transition. I would believe intently on one idea, and then suddenly I would think the opposite. It was really a contradicting and emotionally charged experience with alot of setbacks and I almost gave up more than once. You can read through my journey on the "Anyone manage to quit dieting with positive results" thread, and read all the ideas from everyone else who participated. There were many different perspectives.
Obviously the title of my thread indicates the route I took was to stop dieting/diet mentality. I don't want to act like an evangelist and say that is the only way. It was my way, that's all I know. It has helped immensely just posting to this site. I guess it was a form a journaling where I was able to get my thoughts out, and more interactive than just writing in an actual journal. Having support is so important. I am not close with really anyone except for my sister and she is busy with a small child now and I can no longer count on her for those long phone conversations we used to have. I don't have any close friends anymore becasue I drove them all away due to isolating myself with my eating disorder. Social life and ED are not compatable. So this site has been great.
Maybe keep posting on this thread about your progress, or you can post on the thread I started too (although maybe not a great idea to post on the other one I started if you are not planning to give up restrictions since that thread is quite geared to that concept). But basically what I am saying is start something now; experiment; see how you feel and how it's going and make changes as needed. Everyone on this site can chime in and give you feedback should you encounter a roadblock.
Good Luck
P.S. What freelance has suggested with starting with meals is a good place to start for someone who feels lost. I don't know if you fit into the category of chronically fasting (I have a bulimic friend who wakes up every morning with the idea she will not eat a real meal and it sets her up for disaster every time), but having actual meals whether loosely planned or not can help with resetting your body's own hunger signals which you may or may not have lost for the time being.
Introducing Myself
