Here is the latest pattern that i have noticed from my binge days: i work really hard all week to stay on plan, and really look forward to the weekends, when i allow myself more calories. In fact, i look forward to it SO much that i end up waking up early Saturday morning and the first thing i can think about is food. So the first thing i do is eat breakfast (not a good sign; usually i don't eat first thing)...and the binge begins from there. Literally, i have binged at 5 in the morning before! That's not QUITE as weird as it sounds, because i always get up around 5...but i don't normally EAT at that hour.
Anyway, i'm hoping that eating more throughout the week will help. Even though i haven't necessarily felt like i'm starving throughout the week, i think it's something deep inside that builds up, and all of a sudden i'm ravenous on the weekend.
Last edited by surfergirl2; 04-04-2013 at 03:01 PM.
I have not visited this site in over three years. Good news: I finally freed myself (mostly) from binging. Bad news: My weight has creeped up over the last few months and I am tempted to "diet" but I don't want to trigger the disordered eating again.
I can offer what I have learned along the way and you all can help me stay grounded. We can do this together!!!
Day 16 has just started off to a great start.
I had a small bowl of oatmeal with a spoon of peanut butter and two spoons of jelly and some fruit. I wanted to get more food so badly, despite not being hungry, but I put my dishes away before getting more
I haven't been working out consistently since getting back to campus, but am hoping to get in a 15 minute run at least 2x a week. I did weigh myself at the beginning of the week to find I am down 4.5 lbs!
I've had a couple of days where I snacked voraciously after dinner, but I'm not counting those as binges, as they had a different motive.
But I've been doing so well at eating until I'm satisfied, eating very healthily, and not going for seconds unless I'm sincerely hungry.
And I made it over two weeks!!
Painted ponies- you have been doing so well! Way to go!
Karenlee- thank you for the input, I do feel like a crazy person sometimes... That's why I come here... To remember that I'm not alone!
Surfergirl- you'll have to keep up posted on how your new strategy goes!
I stayed on track yesterday- but was up another .5 lb from my post-binge high weight.. I know I shouldn't focus on the scale too much, but it's still frustrating. Oh well- I guess that's some motivation to stay on track today also.
PaintedPony, CONGRATULATIONS....on the weight loss and being so in tune with your body!
Danzinggurl, hope today is a good one for you!
Last night I met two women for coffee. We wound up meeting at a bakery (danger!), surrounded by cupcakes. I decided to test out having one small cupcake (the decision around which one took on life-or-death importance in my mind) to practice eating a trigger or "bad" food in public. It was interesting, though I did fantasize about eating all of the hundreds of cupcakes in the shop. I think, all in all, I did OK, though I had a handful of blueberries and a LF baby bell at 1am while finishing a project. (Guess as far as stress eating goes, that's OK, but I'd really like to not rely on food at all when I'm anxious.) I was feeling guilty about yesterday, but now that I've written this out, maybe I can be proud that I ate a cupcake in public (that might sound strange) and that eating one didn't trigger a binge. We'll see how today goes.
PaintedPonies that's a great achievement! I'm looking forward to being able to focus on my natural eating instincts again too, once this bingeing episode is over. Biggsbabydoll - I'm right there with you. We can do it, we just need to be strong and focus on getting through the day little by little....
Congratulations EliseVi on your cupcake victory! I think that trying out binge-trigger foods in public is such a good idea. I'm less likely to overeat when I'm with other people so I might give that a try. At the moment, though, I'm not sure I would have the strength to stop myself leaping across the bakery to rip more cupcakes out of other customers' hands, so I might have to build up to that.
I'm having a better day than yesterday, and I only binged once. I even managed to have the world's healthiest dinner (it comprised; lean protein, low-fat carbs and four different types of vegetable, cooked in four different ways!) so I'm feeling particularly proud and I hope that it will keep me full enough not to binge tonight. I can't believe how long it is taking me to recover from my binge-fest at the weekend. Why does this have to be so difficult?
it was a cinema night and i totally overate on cookies because i didn't have time for lunch. i had a late dinner and i think i stayed in my cal range. ugh it's time for going back to uni and i don't really want to go back :/ but on the other side i can't wait to finally join a gym when i return
paintedponies- that's great. i wish i was losing weight like you my scale is all over the place, one day up, one day down no matter if i eat normally.
karenlee- wow how did you manage to stay binge free for so long? congrats on your success
well haven't binged yet in april and trying the no dieting approach hoping it will help with the obsessive thoughts about food. I am just seeing how it goes.
karenlee- any insight on how you managed to quit binging would be great to hear.
Day 16 is over.
It's strange, I feel like things just clicked, and I finally lost desire to binge. I still did, and do, occasionally out of habit, but I'm getting better at curbing that.
Painted ponies- you are doing so great! Congratulations!!
Veggiedaze- I really hope that you are able to quit the obsessive thoughts-- I DO think that quitting the "diet" mentality can help with binges, but I have never been brave enough to try... Thank you for the example, please keep us posted on how you are doing!
Missunshine- I hope that returning to uni goes better than you expect! The scale has been driving me crazy lately too! Those weird and unexpected ups and downs can be so frustrating! Hang in there!
Eskadee- I hope you are feeling better!! Your healthy dinner sounds pretty delicious and filling!
Elisevi- having a cupcake and not bingeing is a big accomplishment- I told a similar story here last month and I STILL feel proud of that day- so hold your head up high because we all know what a big deal that can be!
Starting on day three- I still haven't dropped an ounce of "binge weight" which is discouraging, but hopefully I'll have a big "whoosh" of water loss soon.. I still feel pretty bloated- which is weird because as far as my binges go- my last one was smallish. I HAVE been out of my mind with stress for the past few days though and just got back on birth control so I'm thinking that could be causing some water retention... Part of me just wants to give up because I feel so huge and sad this week anyways... But then I remember how much worse ill feel if I give in- so- I'm going to be strong today.
danzigurl- i think birth conrol can affect on water retention. try sleeping on it and maybe tomorrow you'll wake up with different perspective. i hope all works out well for you.
paintedponies- that's great, removing those thougts is a huge step. way to go!
veggiedaze- good luck with your plan.
last night i had way too muck cookies while i was watching the tv. now i know that watching tv alone at night is a huge trigger for me.
my carefree days are over, i just realized i'm gonna be broke by summer and i'm not used to it and i'm already panicking and i just feel like a pack of chocolate cookies will make my problems go away. i just wanna crawl to bed and sleep till september
Ok, today hasn't gone so well as I have already binged on cupcakes and crisps. But, I did weigh myself and I have "only" put on 2lbs this week with all the binges. I am feeling better and determined to be strong and make it through tomorrow without bingeing. I'm relieved that I only put on 2 lbs, but I wish I hadn't put any on at all.
Now I just need to make it through the rest of the day! Tomorrow will be day 1 again, I am feeling re-motivated! missunshine that sounds like a really stressful time. Make sure to go easy on yourself, and remember that you can do it. It feels like everything is out of control but you don't need the cookies to make it through. I believe in you!
thanks eskadee we can make it through tomorrow together.
i didn't stuff my face but i was thinking of going to the store and buy some junk but since it's sunday and everything is closed and my family is home there was no chance of doing it.
i've given it a lot of thought and making plans on how to fix the problem. i'm mostly sad that i probably won't be able to afford a gym membership :'(
Last edited by missunshine; 04-07-2013 at 05:40 PM.
Missunshine- I'm sure you're right about the birth control- ugh! Have you tried any at home workouts? I have resistance bands at home for when I can't get to the gym and they have been great- and super cheap!
Eskadee- I hope you are doing well and haven't binged today! Sending good vibes your way!
I'm about to finish another binge-free day.... It feels good to have a few good days under my belt- just have to keep it going forever :P that's the goal.. Right?
But today is a new day. One day at a time...one meal at a time for me...
