Not as in control as I'd like...

  • Lately it seems that I've been going off plan and binging in the evenings about every other day. Up until this point I've been pretty successful with losing weight consistently and being within my calorie limit most of the time. For the past month or so I've been maintaining between 137-139.

    I'm nursing my 9 month old and currently my calorie allowance is 1650. As I've been increasing the solid foods he eats I've been reducing my calories. When I log my calories in my binder I total up how much I've eaten so far and how many I have left. When I see that I have less than 500 calories left and have yet to eat dinner I go into a sort of panic. Only 400-something?? I won't be able to have a big dinner! I won't be full! I'll have to change my meal plan and eat only salad! Screw it. I'll just eat what and how much I want. Where's the chocolate?

    Any suggestions as to how to put the breaks on? I don't want this bump in the road to set me back or send me spiraling out of control.
  • Stop counting calories. Nothing good can come of that panicked "I ONLY HAVE X CALORIES LEFT" sensation!

    Alternatively, stop eating breakfast/reduce breakfast and lunch portions a bit and have a bigger dinner.
  • If you prefer to count calories, can I suggest you try planning your daily food intake in advance? Plan what you are going to have for your meals and work out the calories, so you will definitely be able to have the big dinner, and then you can eat the extra calories however you like, rather than the other way around?
    I wouldn't suggest missing any meals to make up for it, but remember that it isn't necessarily a bad thing to have different calorie consumption on different days. If you go overboard with a big dinner today then you can plan ahead for tomorrow and have only one sandwich instead of two, or salad instead of chips to 'compensate' for the extra calories the day before.
    I've also seen people on these boards suggesting that you count your calories from dinner the night before, instead of from breakfast. I'm not sure if that makes sense - basically, if you have 1650 calories as your daily allowance and you eat an 850 calorie dinner then you will have 800 calories left for breakfast and lunch the next day, and you will start your 1650 calories again the following dinner time. That way you will always have dinner to see you through the evening!

    I hope that helps, I know how hard it is when you are fighting against the binges.
  • I agree with EskaDee. The only way I can consistently lose weight is to count calories (and carbs and sodium.....) AND make up the day's menu either first thing in the morning or else the night before. If I write things down as I go along, then I end up in a world of hurt. Of course, I don't have a nursing infant so adding in one more thing to your already incredibly full list might seem like it's just impossible. But maybe you could take one of the baby's nap times and write down several days' worth of menus.

    If I have to, I make changes, but I always input them before eating them to see what the "damage" will be. I would also suggest that if you have a smart phone, you use one of the dieting apps. Otherwise, they all have sites you can access while on your computer.

    Good luck. Sounds like you've hit a speed bump this last month, but with a few changes in what is basically a good approach, you'll be able to get back on track.
  • IA with krampus. And you'rte breastfeeding too? Girl....EAT.
  • I also plan all my meals the night before. I grocery shop and only buy the specific foods that I plan to cook and eat. I eat a small salad with my lunch and a huge salad with my dinner and that usually keeps me full. I don't usually feel the need to snack but I have also completely cut sugar out of my diet so that has eliminated the sugar cravings.
  • I agree with krampus and bingefree...especially since you're breastfeeding.
  • I just got out of a seven week period where I struggled with binges at work because I was unable to make and follow my meal plan. The whole time it was happening, I wanted to put the brakes on, but there were too many other things happening in my life that prevented me from putting time and thought into my eating habits. I wish I could have stopped this in its tracks weeks ago before I gained back five pounds (evident in being unable to button my pants) but I was too busy managing other things.

    With a new baby, I imagine that you probably have some crazy life events that are preventing you from focusing too! My suggestion is to accept that days might not be perfect all the time and to have some plan B meals on hand. This could be some canned soups or frozen dinners or something else that is really low calorie. That way, you can have a backup for when you can't eat your planned dinner. I don't know if this helps, but I know it would have helped me.
  • Thanks everyone for all of the responses and suggestions!

    Quote: Stop counting calories. Nothing good can come of that panicked "I ONLY HAVE X CALORIES LEFT" sensation!

    Alternatively, stop eating breakfast/reduce breakfast and lunch portions a bit and have a bigger dinner.
    Oh man, I read this and just about pooped my pants! That's how scary the idea of not counting is to me. I don't think I'm at that point yet where I can intuitively eat small amounts - I think I'm missing that switch that goes off when I'm full, LOL. I have been considering delaying my breakfast by an hour or so.

    Quote: If you prefer to count calories, can I suggest you try planning your daily food intake in advance? Plan what you are going to have for your meals and work out the calories, so you will definitely be able to have the big dinner, and then you can eat the extra calories however you like, rather than the other way around?
    I wouldn't suggest missing any meals to make up for it, but remember that it isn't necessarily a bad thing to have different calorie consumption on different days. If you go overboard with a big dinner today then you can plan ahead for tomorrow and have only one sandwich instead of two, or salad instead of chips to 'compensate' for the extra calories the day before.
    I've also seen people on these boards suggesting that you count your calories from dinner the night before, instead of from breakfast. I'm not sure if that makes sense - basically, if you have 1650 calories as your daily allowance and you eat an 850 calorie dinner then you will have 800 calories left for breakfast and lunch the next day, and you will start your 1650 calories again the following dinner time. That way you will always have dinner to see you through the evening!

    I hope that helps, I know how hard it is when you are fighting against the binges.
    I might try to incorporate this a little bit. I already plan out most of my dinners for the week, but I pretty much leave my lunches and breakfasts up in the air, and I think that may be where I am running into problems.

    Quote: I agree with EskaDee. The only way I can consistently lose weight is to count calories (and carbs and sodium.....) AND make up the day's menu either first thing in the morning or else the night before. If I write things down as I go along, then I end up in a world of hurt. Of course, I don't have a nursing infant so adding in one more thing to your already incredibly full list might seem like it's just impossible. But maybe you could take one of the baby's nap times and write down several days' worth of menus.

    If I have to, I make changes, but I always input them before eating them to see what the "damage" will be. I would also suggest that if you have a smart phone, you use one of the dieting apps. Otherwise, they all have sites you can access while on your computer.

    Good luck. Sounds like you've hit a speed bump this last month, but with a few changes in what is basically a good approach, you'll be able to get back on track.
    That's basically been what's been happening - a world of hurt! A few unplanned pieces of zucchini bread ruined my whole day.

    Quote: I also plan all my meals the night before. I grocery shop and only buy the specific foods that I plan to cook and eat. I eat a small salad with my lunch and a huge salad with my dinner and that usually keeps me full. I don't usually feel the need to snack but I have also completely cut sugar out of my diet so that has eliminated the sugar cravings.
    This is exactly what I do for dinner... Not so much with breakfast/lunch, and maybe I should. I've noticed that really sugary/processed foods almost make me hungrier after eating them than before, it may be time for me to re-evaluate my whole "I can eat anything I want so long as it's in moderation" approach, since I'm having trouble moderating.

    Quote: I just got out of a seven week period where I struggled with binges at work because I was unable to make and follow my meal plan. The whole time it was happening, I wanted to put the brakes on, but there were too many other things happening in my life that prevented me from putting time and thought into my eating habits. I wish I could have stopped this in its tracks weeks ago before I gained back five pounds (evident in being unable to button my pants) but I was too busy managing other things.

    With a new baby, I imagine that you probably have some crazy life events that are preventing you from focusing too! My suggestion is to accept that days might not be perfect all the time and to have some plan B meals on hand. This could be some canned soups or frozen dinners or something else that is really low calorie. That way, you can have a backup for when you can't eat your planned dinner. I don't know if this helps, but I know it would have helped me.
    Wow, what a simple solution! This is a great suggestion. I think this week when I do the grocery shopping I'll pick up a few lean cuisines or something just to have on hand as a "Plan B". Thanks!
  • i agree with krampus and bingefree2013. I am working on not counting calories now. When I stop counting calories my stress is much less and I do binge less, but it also means giving up complete control which is a stress a veteran calorie counter must work through. I know the more I obsess over calories the more I binge. Sure I have lost weight counting calories and white knuckling through every day, but I am usually always on the verge of binging, and eventually I am binging non-stop. It is a quick fix not a long term solution. I do not have a weight problem but I do have a binging problem. I know as long as I count calories I will also binge. For someone pre-disposed to binging they go together. I should also note I have an identical twin sister who does not count calories and who does not binge. She maintains her weight at 110 pounds at 5'5". She also had a baby and gained a normal amount of weight (30 pounds) and then slowly lost all the weight after. She is also a former severe bulimic until she gave up all dieting altogether. I am the same as her in all things (although I weigh about 115lbs) but I am a binger and count calories. If you look around this site you will see the people who have been successful in not binging have given up calorie counting.
  • i should also note most people want to give up binging before giving up restricting. It won't happen. It comes down to what is most importatnt to you; losing weight or not binging. If your main focus is weight loss, you will probably not get over the binging. You will likely lose weight from time to time but will binge it back. If your focus is to not binge, work on not restricting. It isn't easy and you may not lose weight or even gain some weight at first, but probably at some point you will lose some weight as my sister did, bingefree2013 did, and krampus all did, and be happier in life and not trapped in the binging prison that it is. Sure, I have a body other people envy, but i am trapped in binging ****. My twin sister also has a body others envy, and it happened because she finally gave up dieting and does not obsess. I would much rather be in her shoes and am working on that. it is tough. She also gained weight at first. she accepted her body. To her surprise the weight eventually came off.
  • Quote: i should also note most people want to give up binging before giving up restricting. It won't happen. It comes down to what is most importatnt to you; losing weight or not binging. If your main focus is weight loss, you will probably not get over the binging. You will likely lose weight from time to time but will binge it back. If your focus is to not binge, work on not restricting. It isn't easy and you may not lose weight or even gain some weight at first, but probably at some point you will lose some weight as my sister did, bingefree2013 did, and krampus all did, and be happier in life and not trapped in the binging prison that it is. Sure, I have a body other people envy, but i am trapped in binging ****. My twin sister also has a body others envy, and it happened because she finally gave up dieting and does not obsess. I would much rather be in her shoes and am working on that. it is tough. She also gained weight at first. she accepted her body. To her surprise the weight eventually came off.
    I like to think that it is possible to moderate my calorie input and not binge at the same time. If left to my own devices I'll end up back in the obese category... When I gained all of that weight I wasn't restricting or dieting at all. I seriously feel like I have no "off switch." I'm the type of person who is day dreaming about her next meal while she's still in the middle of eating her first one. I get what you're saying about restricting though; I just don't think that 1650 is all that restrictive. It's not that I'm hungry or anything like that. It's more like no amount of food is enough for me. Who knows? You could be right, and I might be more successful with another eating plan that doesn't directly count calories.
  • good luck with everything. It's a tough thing and everyone on this board is here becuase they have some kind of food issues. It could be very well possible that your calorie allowance is enough for you. For me even when I would set my calorie amount extremely high (as much as 3000 calories) I still felt restricted by the number. Having a number in my head just increased my preoccupation with food and made be obsess. Also if I got hungry at the very end of the day and had already had all my calories, the stress and feeling like I could not have more often caused a binge. Even if I was not hungry getting to my limit sometimes caused a binge simply because it caused me anxiety to know I could not have more if I wanted.

    Calorie counting and dieting can work for some people, but if you are finding you are binging and feeling awful afterwards maybe you are heading down the road of an eating disorder. And eating disorders tend to get worse. Also, research shows that dieting and restriction also make eating disorders worse. You will have to decide what is more important to you right now; losing weight with the possibility of getting a severe eating disorder along the way, or getting hold of the binging itself. I am struggling with the same thing. I don't have a weight problem but I like to count calories and "be in control" at all times. The more I do this the worse my binging is. I am trying to let go of the dieting mindset but it is so tough and I also fear I will gain weight if I stop. I know though that unless I stop I will binge eat forever. It is a choice I have to make.