[veggiedaze]

Just also wanted to say that because i've been on my days off the last couple of days, I've been browsing this site even the other areas that I haven't really visited before. I couldn't help but see on the general diet questions section that there is a 15 year old girl who is asking the opinions from others on how much weight she can lose by a certain date so she can go into a pool with her friend on her birthday and not feel bad about herself. It's hard to know what is the best thing to say to a 15 year old girl who is so influential. I was hoping someone might give her good advice and tell her to tell her parents she has weight and food issues and to go seek professional help and not resort to asking for help on a website. Sadly though, the only responder so far has congratulated her on her weight loss so far and continued on to tell her how bad carbs are and that she should read Dr. Atkins' first book. She goes on to talk about how terrible things like pizza and chips are. I am foreshadowing a future binger/disordered eater in the works. So sad.

[bingefree2013]

re: no longer reading forums/blogs: I've thought about it too. It's really the last way I'm hanging on to weight/food talk. I refuse to discuss such things in real life. When people mention their diets/weight I shrug and remain quiet until they change the conversation. When diet ads come on TV I change the channel or mute them.

I do think that disconnecting from this forum once and for all will be my final dive into a normal life with food. Although I don't restrict anymore, a fascination with eating disorders cropped out of my own struggles and reading about them and peoples struggles is hard to let go of for sure. But one day soon I will, because naturally thin me wouldn't have been caught dead on a diet forum and more importantly, that me had no interest whatsoever.

At this point, it's also getting frustrating to read other people's diet dogma and behavior and thought patterns that I used to have but now just find, well, insane. And hey, that's not a slam, after all, I just called myself formerly insane, and I was. There's nothing mentally healthy about being afraid of food, *******izing entire food groups, exercising like a fiend, and revolving your whole life around an inanimate object. and I knew it then and I know it now.

Leaving the forums and blogs behind frees up a lot of head space and tells your brain that it doesn't need to focus on such things anymore which I think can help with the process of moving on for good.

[Xena2013]

bingefree2013 I agree - maybe that is also why while being on vacation bingeing and weight was never an issue for me. Surprisingly I always lost a ton of weight when I was busy living my life instead of sitting in front of the computer waiting on people to reply to a posting from me.

Maybe I need to just cut down a little bit. There is no right or wrong in this whole discussion, there is only what works for a person and what doesnīt.

[veggiedaze]

yeah, can't argue that at all. I suppose though that talking about not dieting helps keep me grounded in that idea when I'm being bombarded by dieting everywhere else in my regular life. Also, some of the threads on this site actally help me see how deranged some of the thoughts actually are. It's hard to identify in myself but easier somehow when I hear it from someone else. All I can say is that this thread has helped me more than it has hurt. I have gone my longest without eating disorder behaviours than I have in many years. I also like to think that maybe I can help someone else. If noone on this thread was here, I doubt I would have changed my views. But if everyone on this thread disapears I will be happy knowing they are spending their time doing something better.

[bingefree2013]

Xena - Vacations have always been easy for me too. I got taken out of my habitual zone and it would become easy to just eat when hungry and move on with my day sightseeing and touring and enjoying the world. At home, it's much easier to sit around and get stuck in a vicious cycle of suck.

veggie - I'm glad this thread has helped you, and others who have posted, and those as well who may not have posted but are lurking. It was a great idea to get the discussion going and I'm glad you did.

[Xena2013]

Originally Posted by veggiedaze

yeah, can't argue that at all. I suppose though that talking about not dieting helps keep me grounded in that idea when I'm being bombarded by dieting everywhere else in my regular life. Also, some of the threads on this site actally help me see how deranged some of the thoughts actually are. It's hard to identify in myself but easier somehow when I hear it from someone else. All I can say is that this thread has helped me more than it has hurt. I have gone my longest without eating disorder behaviours than I have in many years. I also like to think that maybe I can help someone else. If noone on this thread was here, I doubt I would have changed my views. But if everyone on this thread disapears I will be happy knowing they are spending their time doing something better.

I feel the same way

I sometimes go back to threads I havenīt read in a while and when I realize that nothing has changed, I know that staying away is the better choice. I really hope a lot of people read here and feel the same way. You can eat everything and lose weight/be lean.

If any of you need further motivation the author of the book I am reading has a YouTube Channel and I love all her videos. Search "josielenore"

[SouthernMaven]

Originally Posted by veggiedaze

yeah, can't argue that at all. I suppose though that talking about not dieting helps keep me grounded in that idea when I'm being bombarded by dieting everywhere else in my regular life. Also, some of the threads on this site actally help me see how deranged some of the thoughts actually are. It's hard to identify in myself but easier somehow when I hear it from someone else. All I can say is that this thread has helped me more than it has hurt. I have gone my longest without eating disorder behaviours than I have in many years. I also like to think that maybe I can help someone else. If noone on this thread was here, I doubt I would have changed my views. But if everyone on this thread disapears I will be happy knowing they are spending their time doing something better.

I totally agree as well, veggiedaze.

Since I'm relatively new to non-dieting, I find the forums helpful; not only threads like this one and the IE thread, but reading the insanity on the other ones as well. Keeps me focused on staying sane about food.

I had posted here about the continuing saga of the returning dieters, you know the ones (and I was the same way)... losing and gaining, losing and gaining. I moved the post to the IE thread but it addressed what you have said above. The saddest part, to me, is that they truly believe this time will be different! But we all know it won't be.

Maybe some of them will find their way to this thread. One can only hope.

I also have the goal of one day being free of even needing to participate in a forum, but right now I need it.

Xena, I have watched Josie's videos. They are great. As soon as I get my iPad updated so I can download the Kindle app I'm going to get her book.

I just added a quote to my sig file that was written by a participant in another forum dealing with IE (I asked her permission, and she said yes ) I don't think she had any idea when she wrote it how much it would speak to anyone, but it certainly did to me. I think you will appreciate her comment.

[magical]

Originally Posted by Wannabeskinny

It's interesting how everyone is coming to a concensus here, but the more I read the more I disagree. I do not think it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. It's been called to my attention that I eat too many carbs, and too much wheat and when I realized it I cut back. Understanding how my body reacts to food has helped me, not made me binge more. For example, coming to an understanding that my body does not need one iota of sugar, not even the smallest amount, has made me make better choices about sweets. It's not something that I deserve to indulge myself in on a constant basis. Do I eat sugar now and again, yes of course, but I do not fool myself thinking that my body intuitively needs it.

Honestly, you should do what YOU feel is right for YOU. Don't worry about what others are saying because we are all individuals and our journeys are individual journeys. Millions/billions of matter/particles make up a body and none of us here will ever know the composite picture of another person.

I think where I am coming from is how hard the battle must be to get to the size each of us wants to be at. As we all know, the harder it is, the higher the risk of failing is.

For me, for example, I want to take the path of least resistance. I want to be the type no. 5 thin person category (being the person who finds it easy to maintain weight, comfortable with the person she is and gives no thought to food other than to use it as fuel but at the same time, enjoys the food she eats and lifestyle she leads). To achieve that, I know that I have to get rid of my bingeing because my problem has always been (a) bingeing due to restrictions and (b) me not accepting that my comfortable weight is actually around 125-130, not 115-120. My restrictions and bingeing (rather than overeating) is what led me to put on weight. It has taken me so many, many years to realize this and to stop not just the restricting, but to stop the mental agony and mental battle I have been bearing all this while.

I am finding it easy at the moment because I don't have any bingeing urges. Yes, I still buy junk (chocs etc) but the great thing about it is when I bring it home, I have no desire to binge. I eat one/two and am happy. This has been so since I switched from rigid restrictions to a totally free from restriction mode in May 2012. Best thing is that I tried on my smallest pair of jeans yesterday (the one I use to measure the size I am) and it fits me pretty well. Sure, 5 years down the road, it may get harder, I don't know. If/when that time comes, I have to put on my "thinking cap" again.

Again, I want to emphasize that each of us has our own way of doing things. The only thing that is different is how easy or how hard our way is and how high the risk of failure is. However, for some people, they need to be disciplined and they need to have rules for eating and exercise. To them, if they do not have rules, the risk of failure is high. For others, too many rules and restrictions mean failure. It doesn't matter which type we are, really, as long as it works for us.

What I am sad about is for those that have that uphill battle and must face that uphill battle everyday. Those are the ones that need to find a better way to lose or maintain the weight they have lost.

[magical]

About forums and quitting them, yep, I did that last May. I stopped visiting all the dieting forums I was with and just totally stopped thinking/reading about diets. Best decision for me as I was hooked on dieting forums since I went online to look for dieting solutions about 3 years ago.

3FC is the only dieting forum I've rejoined. I'm in a far, far better headspace now than my first time round. I don't really visit the "dieting" sections of the forum and simply check the "New Posts" section for any interesting discussions which come up.

[magical]

Originally Posted by SouthernMaven

I had posted here about the continuing saga of the returning dieters, you know the ones (and I was the same way)... losing and gaining, losing and gaining.

Yes, that's what I'm trying to say as well in my previous post. The ones who keep losing, then gaining, then losing and gaining again are the ones that need to find a solution to the problem, not just a temporary fix.

PS. Read about your iphone saga, lol! I WAS wondering how your husband was able to call you!!

[freelancemomma]

Originally Posted by bingefree2013

Neither am I. They get a bad rap just like fat did in the 90s. Watch out protein, your butt is next!

If you are larger than you want to be it is not because you consume one macronutrient in excess over another. If that were the case, America would be full of thin people, because most people seem to be on some low-carb craze, and yet...likewise, naturally thin people seem to eat every food group without a second thought.

Back before my dieting days I could easily eat sugar/sweets without going overboard, even as a teen with a junk food diet. There were no cravings, nothing was special or scary; bingeing did not exist. It wasn't until I started believing all of that crap about what's "good" and "bad" that food actually became good or bad, scary or not scary and a true dilemma. My beliefs made it so.

I had to live in my own head and I got tired of it, so I decided to change the tape. I forced myself to get over it because I wanted to care about more important things than internally debating with myself about my dinner schedule.

There's so much wisdom in what you write, Bingefree!

F.

[veggiedaze]

Originally Posted by freelancemomma

There's so much wisdom in what you write, Bingefree!

F.

Agreed. Says it just as it is. No BS

[Xena2013]

I just watched "Food Matters" and had to think about what bingefree said (protein you are next!). Now we need to cut out not only dairy and grains, but also meat/animal products...Lord...

I agree that we need to eat a lot of superfoods to get all vitamins, but YIKES those people are really strict. Like anybody really does that long term.

I am glad I watched it since it reminded me to use my juicer more often (I love fresh juice) and add veggies/fruits to my meals, but I am over this whole fad diets thing. Even though they are just trying to make you eat for health reasons, it is in my opinion not sustainable for the majority. Especially if you think about it this way: the people that are on medicine and have bad health due to their poor diet will have the hardest time going from captain crunch/donuts to just eating raw veggies/fruits/nuts. Why not encourage people to make little changes? This is what p... me off about clean eating as well. Why do I need to feel bad about adding a cupcake to my diet?

I feel a lot of people think that when you stop dieting all you eat is crap. It is actually the other way around for me. I have brown rice and veggies, but then a scoop of ice cream. No deprivation, no bingeing...

I actually like Bethenny Frankells book "Naturally Thin" where she talks about your diet is a bank account. You can have everything, just not at once. I didnīt like her explanation of portions (3 bites of something), but the overall message was just so great. Eat a balanced diet and fit everything in that you like. Never eat foods you donīt like.

[magical]

Definitely, bingefree2013 makes a lot of sense.

Funnily enough, I never actually believed in "good" and "bad" foods. My goal was always to lose weight and to keep losing - the lower the better.

All diets I tried (from the cabbage soup diet and what's that one drinking salt water?? to Weight Watchers) had only one focus in mind, to lose weight.

ETA: Actually, that's everyone's goal, isn't it?? What I meant was that I did not care how I lost, I guess - good, bad, drastic ways... until last year. So from a BTDT POV, I think that's probably why there is a consensus.

[veggiedaze]

Originally Posted by Xena2013

I just watched "Food Matters" and had to think about what bingefree said (protein you are next!). Now we need to cut out not only dairy and grains, but also meat/animal products...Lord...

I agree that we need to eat a lot of superfoods to get all vitamins, but YIKES those people are really strict. Like anybody really does that long term.

I am glad I watched it since it reminded me to use my juicer more often (I love fresh juice) and add veggies/fruits to my meals, but I am over this whole fad diets thing. Even though they are just trying to make you eat for health reasons, it is in my opinion not sustainable for the majority. Especially if you think about it this way: the people that are on medicine and have bad health due to their poor diet will have the hardest time going from captain crunch/donuts to just eating raw veggies/fruits/nuts. Why not encourage people to make little changes? This is what p... me off about clean eating as well. Why do I need to feel bad about adding a cupcake to my diet?

I feel a lot of people think that when you stop dieting all you eat is crap. It is actually the other way around for me. I have brown rice and veggies, but then a scoop of ice cream. No deprivation, no bingeing...

I actually like Bethenny Frankells book "Naturally Thin" where she talks about your diet is a bank account. You can have everything, just not at once. I didnīt like her explanation of portions (3 bites of something), but the overall message was just so great. Eat a balanced diet and fit everything in that you like. Never eat foods you donīt like.

yeah, so true. diet culture is all about making people feel bad. It is so engrained in everyones psyche. It took me so long to get over the fact that eating a donut once a week was not going to be detrimental and in fact gave me sanity.

You will like this article. http://www.jcdfitness.com/2010/09/cl...ld-abandon-it/
It is from a fitness/bodybuilding guru who competes, but the overall message is pretty good. He basically documents how he became obsessed with clean eating and how it was destroying him mentally and that now he has learned that he doesn't need to eat clean all the time. He also bashes the whole "cheat day" thing that many people are into, but basically says cheat days only turn into binges because you are so deprived and obsess so much over that long awaited day. The article is called "eating clean is a scam".

Haven't read Bethany Frankels book. But it is uplifting to hear she believes in not denying yourself anything.