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March binge-free challenge

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Old 03-16-2013, 12:13 PM   #76
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danzinggurl, have you ever considered that you might have a non-purging form of bulimia? I only ask because you seem to try to make-up for binges with excessive amounts of running (9 and 11 miles) plus restricting food intake the next day, which we all know leads to more urges to binge. So you binge, and then try to undo it or mitigate weight gain through forms other than laxatives or vomiting, but it's just as hard on the body and actually promotes weight gain.

I hope you feel better.
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Old 03-16-2013, 01:18 PM   #77
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Bingefree2013- I used to binge & purge... Haven't done that for about a year, but I do know that I haven't really "recovered" fully from purging... I LIKE to run- I run long distance races and do have planned long runs every week- although it makes me feel a little better about binges after a long run, I would do a long run regardless of whether I binged or not.

However- the restricting food AND running a long distance is most definitley a problem. I try to justify it because I am not throwing up... But it's still unhealthy. I just worry so much because even WITH the restricting I am
Still gaining weight... I think I do need to enlist at least a nutritionist or something to help... But to be honest I can't really afford it.

So- this is my little therapy circle for now... Thanks to everyone here for sharing your stories, advice, and experiences. Although I have in no way overcome bingeing and or purging... This forum does help me a lot!!
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Old 03-16-2013, 01:34 PM   #78
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I didn't even make it to the end of day 2 - I'm restarting day 1 tomorrow. I don't understand why it is so difficult to avoid binges, I wish there was a better way than just will power.
Tomorrow will be a better day, hopefully!
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Old 03-16-2013, 03:36 PM   #79
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Hi there,

I would love to join you guys. Binge Eater for about 15 years, therapy, tons of books. self helf groups etc. couldnīt stop it completely. I was doing very well after a cognitive behaviour therapy, but then I wanted to lose weight fast and it started all over again. Stupid me...I learned my lesson.

I read a couple books (brain over binge, ditching diets, eating less etc.) but one stood out for me and helped me not to binge for 2 days now: "Life without Ed".

I feel itīs easier to resist a binge when I think about another mean little person wanting me to fail and binge. I just say NOPE and keep on living my life. I tried the whole animal brain before and it didnīt work for me. I do believe that it is a great idea, but it got me back into this black and white thinking again (only not bingeing and bingeing exist, no in between).
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Old 03-16-2013, 06:44 PM   #80
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Guys, I need to STOP!!!! I am on Day 7 of a 7-day binge!!! 7,000-8,000 calories per day. I am blowing up like a balloon. It would be a fascinating study in human weight gain if it weren't my body and it weren't such sad circumstances. I have a huge bulge on my tummy above my belly button -- all this weight is going to my tummy and thighs. I can't fit into my jeans or shorts. And I can't stop eating!!!! Please help me; please convince me to stop! I bet I am in the upper 140's', if not 150...Less than a week ago, I was at 133.6. I'm not exaggerating my weight gain. It is not bloat. My jeans which used to be extremely baggy and were a size or so TOO BIG, are now VERY TIGHT.

What am I going to do when I have to see my colleagues/friends on Tuesday? I was away on a business trip for the whole week, which was a huge part of the trigger. The day of reckoning is on Tuesday, and how will I get through the public humiliation of having gained about 15 pounds in a week????

Please convince me to 1) stop eating and get back on track, and 2) help me get out of this major humiliating depression of having gained all this weight in a WEEK!!!! Then, how do I get motivated to start losing all this weight again?? I did this same thing last August, and it took until January to lose all the weight. Now I just did it again!!!!!!! I want to sob.

Please, 3FC friends, help me, please!!!
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Old 03-16-2013, 07:21 PM   #81
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Doingmybest in a situation like that it helps me to just give myself permission to binge and trying to postpone it. Tell yourself you will binge tomorrow, not today. Then tomorrow do the same thing. Sometimes I waited until Sunday and only binged once a week.

I felt it hard going cold turkey ("I am NEVER EVER allowed to binge" - just makes me wanna binge some more).

Do you think that might work for you?
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Old 03-16-2013, 07:38 PM   #82
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That's interesting, Xena. Problem is, when I give myself permission to binge tomorrow, I will binge tomorrow, no doubt about it. I wouldn't be able to "flip the switch" back off if I've already given myself permission to binge on a specific day.

I am so full and bloated that I don't think I'll eat any more today, but I'm so worried about starting to binge again tomorrow. I was so sure that today was the day I would stop (and the day before, I was certain that I would stop the day before). I WANT to stop; I DON'T WANT to binge, but I'm terrified that tomorrow will come and I will give in to the urges.

I think a big part of the problem is restricting; that's why I had planned to eat 1,200 calories today instead of fasting like I often do after binges. Problem was, 1,200 calories wasn't nearly enough to satisfy me compared to the 1,800+ calories I had been eating at maintenance. If this were just an isolated binge, I could probably eat at maintenance for awhile and not feel bad about the gain of a pound or two. But now that I need to lose 15 pounds, I feel like I HAVE to get back on the calorie counting deficit immediately, since I have so much binge weight to lose, and I need to do it fairly quickly before too many people see how much I have gained. I normally work from home, so I can delay seeing some people for a few weeks, but eventually they're going to see me in person, and I don't want them to see that I gained 15+ pounds!

How do I get right back into the mindset of eating at a deficit, exercising, and making myself remember that bingeing is not an option...which is normally hard enough, but I now have a huge additional mountain to climb: 15 pounds to lose?

I am so terrified that I won't be able to stop myself from bingeing tomorrow, even though I can't fit into any of my clothes!! Please, tell me your strategies for getting back on track and staying on track! I am so desperate!!
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Old 03-16-2013, 07:43 PM   #83
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I did do one good thing: I just threw out the remainder of some binge food I had made, into the outside trash can, which has no liner and therefore is pretty nasty -- no way for me to eat food once it touches the can. This way, I can't eat this food. But I'll always still have the temptation of going out and buying more...

I feel so fragile and desperate. I'm sorry to be whining so much; I just am so terrified that the binge switch will flip on again tomorrow, and I'll be up another 2 pounds...which would make me approaching 17 pounds gained in the span of a week. Frightening to contemplate, but I'm afraid that I won't be able to stop myself from bingeing again tomorrow!
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Old 03-16-2013, 08:55 PM   #84
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You are not whining at all - I gained 30lbs in two months binging. I am so desperate right now to lose the weight. The thing is that every day for the two months i tried to lose the weight but the opposite happened.

I am sure a lot of the 15lbs is water weight - i think taking the focus off needing to lose the weight and focusing on not binging will get the job dobe the quickest and also will give u back your self confidence.

Have u read any books about that topic?
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Old 03-16-2013, 09:10 PM   #85
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IA with Xena. I think the first thing you'll want to tackle is not bingeing. Not restricting food intake will usual quell the strongest urges, so go back to eating maintenance calories for a while. I'm not sure how many that was for you, but it needs to be more than 1200 or survivial instincts will just keep kicking in.

Focusing on the weight loss will only make the urges to binge stronger. Luckily enough, usually if one can stop bingeing for any extended period of time, the weight usually fixes itself. Good luck to you
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Old 03-17-2013, 08:35 AM   #86
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Well, this morning was the moment of truth. I forced myself to get on the scale. Unfortunately, the damage was even WORSE than I expected. 154.1. Which means that I am up 20.5 pounds in exactly a WEEK.

Knowing my body, I estimate that 5 pounds is water weight. Which means that I have managed the shameful accomplishment of gaining 15 pounds in a week. Even I am impressed (in a horrified way) of the body's ability to gain so much weight at one time.

Unfortunately, I binged again yesterday, about 5,200 calories for the day, which means that I will put on another pound once my body processes the food.

Oh why, oh why, did I have to do this to myself???? I knew it was theoretically possible to gain this much weight in a short time period, but I almost didn't believe it. Let my hard lesson be a lesson to all. Bingeing leads to rapid weight gain!!!!! The calories have to go somewhere, and they do not evaporate into thin air. The body stores them as fat!!

I am still in shock that I have managed to gain 15 pounds in a week!!!!!!!!!!! And I known it's not water weight because I can't fit into any of my clothes. I can see where the fat stored on my tummy and thighs. It's a sad educational lesson in how the body stores fat rapidly.

Now, the hard work begins. It will take me many months to undo the damage that I caused in a WEEK.

Hopefully this will be a lesson for all. Don't make the same mistake that I did!!

I just don't understand how others are able to lose the weight in a few days after the binge. I guess your binges aren't epic binges like mine this past week. And I guess it's a lot worse to binge for multiple days in a row.
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Old 03-17-2013, 09:14 AM   #87
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I am just like you - I have not managed to lose the weight quickly. I eat around 8000 calories as well during a binge day. 2-4 pints B&J alone in one day, then some pizza, bag of chips etc. I was 76kg in Dezember and am 93 today...

The thing that helped me get to day 3 today is thinking about me and the eating disorder as different people. I am pissed at this little "fat girl" in side of me that wants my life to be miserable and promises me that this is the last binge ever - and it never is!!! I am not willing anymore to hand my happiness over to ice cream and chips. There is nothing wrong with having a bag of chips and a pint of ice cream (my hubby does that too - once a week). The problem begins when all I can think about is the junk food. And I am pissed at the food industry for creating these kind of foods - but in the end it is me to choose these foods and to choose to overeat.

I count my calories now and try to eat filling food. Yesterday I had a pint of Oikos greek frozen yogurt. It was not B&J, but it clocked in with 400 calories for the whole pint and it made me feel like I binged and I was stuffed. Today - 3lbs were gone (water weight).

Maybe reconsider what foods you eat after a binge. When I start with chicken and veggies I will be at the grocery store in a little bit. Even though everybody says it keeps people from bingeing to eat enough protein, I rather have a thin crust pizza and a pint of frozen yogurt. Looking at 1300 calories for both I have still room for a light breakfast and a light dinner. That helps me at the beginning after a binge. Then I slowly go back to healthier food.

Is that maybe what happens to you too? In the morning you know what kind of foods are waiting for you and you just canīt get yourself to eat them anymore?
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Old 03-17-2013, 09:18 AM   #88
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What also helped me is to not think as "I HAVE TO get back on track because I need to lose the weight" but rather think that there is someone in me (the little ED) that does not want me to quit. Out of spite I am quitting it now - for as long as I want. If I choose to binge again in a while I will, but nobody can take the freedom from me to stop or not stop the bingeing. I dont HAVE TO do anything, I CHOOSE to do things.

I was not able to post links, but you might wanna read (if you havenīt done so already):

Life without Ed
Brain over Binge
Ditching Diets
Eating Less
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Old 03-17-2013, 09:35 AM   #89
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Thanks so much, Xena. What is surprising to me is that I am actually hungry right now. It's only 9:22AM, and I ate at least 7,000-8,000 calories every day for the last 7 days. You would think I would not be able to stomach any more food (and in the past, I have fasted the next day because I was not hungry and my tummy hurt). But my stomach is feeling hungry again! I guess I ate such junky foods that there really were so few nutrients in them, and my body still is craving nutrition!

I love your suggestion about eating what I want, rather than going for protein because it's supposed to be good for you after a binge. I love the greek yogurt suggestion -- I have done something similar in the past by eating a pint of Arctic Zero - only 150-180 calories for the whole pint. It does make it easier to ease back in to eating on plan!

I am still in shock of my rapid weight gain. I think I am just going to have to have the attitude of, it happened, I can't change it now, but I can change my behavior going forward. I am kind of resigning myself to what I did to myself. It happened, and now I need to stop it from happening again, and get my eating back under control so that I can start undoing the damage. I STILL can't believe I did so much damage in a week!!!! I have binged for multiple days in the past, and I never gained this much weight at once. I guess the difference was that I didn't fast and severely restrict afterwards to average out my calories, and that I binged for 7 days in a row this time. Still, I can't believe I gained so much. Perhaps my metabolism is messed up from so many binges in the past, too. During my last epic binge in August, I gained about 12 pounds in a month, and I binged for 16 days. This was only 7 days, but I gained more weight than I did during that 16-day binge. I guess I felt "safer" this time because it was only 7 days, and I told myself that I couldn't possibly do that much damage because it wasn't like the 16 days in August. Well, I was wrong.

Unfortunately, my set point is higher now, too -- back in August, I was at goal weight when I started my 16-day binge. Before this binge, I was already about 7 pounds above goal. So that makes the 15-20 pound gain even tougher to accept. Oh well. I just need to accept it and get back on track right now!

Thanks for the book recommendations - I will definitely check them out. I have read Brain over Binge and it didn't help me much. But I will look into the others!
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Old 03-17-2013, 09:41 AM   #90
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Doingmybest79 Stay positive.. i'm wishing you luck!! I just binged for 4 or 5 days in a row, and I definitely feel your pain. The hardest part for me is always the first day after a lot of binging when I try to reset. This is the beginning of my day 1, I hope I make it through!
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