Can Brain Over Binge help me?
There's two issues that I think could be a problem for me: I'm not sure if I actually binge and I can't eat freely.
I basically always have to be on some sort of diet because I have type I diabetes, so I've always got to consider how many carbs I'm eating, how much insulin I'm doing (which basically translated into how much fat I'm storing). I don't have to always be working on actually losing weight (though I am currently 196 and 5'0", so it's hard to not wish I could/would lose weight).
Right now I am eating in a very restricted manner because it is working so well for my blood sugar and, of course, I'm hoping I'll lose weight doing this, too. But I'm not weighing because I'm trying not to make it about weight, it's about being healthier and all that good stuff. But... I am only eating once or twice a day and never more than about 7 grams of carbohydrate at a time. My daily carbohydrate intake is usually between 5 and 15. I have had more luck (in terms of not overeating/binging) on this woe than any other, certainly much better than when I try to eat freely.
As for the binging issue... I have waffled on whether or not that word really applies to what I do. I think I'm in a gray area. I read through the overeating v. binging thread and it looks like there is a consensus that if you're feeling out of control and anxious and feeling terrible about yourself because of it, then you're a binger. But I feel all of those things, but I'm still not sure I binge. Now, to write that here... it makes me feel like I'm just in denial. Like I fit the definition, duh! But... maybe my problem is just that I don't have distinct binges. It's not like I have a normal breakfast and a normal lunch and then hide in my car and eat three fast food meal deals. I spread those fast food meal deals (actually never more than one of those a day, blah, I like CAKE) plus more over the course of a day and for many days on end. Like, there's never a time that I'm not thinking about when I'll get to eat again and what it will be. But if you watched how I eat, it probably wouldn't think much of it, until you realize that it never stops. So, I guess I feel like "binge" has a time component to it and that it's a somewhat discrete thing, ie, before and after the binge you ate normally for hours or days, kwim?
And this style of overeating or binging or whatever it is I do leaves me feeling like I have no idea what a normal person eats or what would be reasonable for me to eat. As I said, though, I eat a very restricted diet now (well, okay, I'm only on day #8, but so far I am feeling strong), so maybe this is a non-issue for me. I cannot really eat like a normal person. But I think feeling like I don't know what is normal behavior makes it harder to identify my animal brain and know when to be strong about it.
I am actually attempting to at least try to get my 2 meals in, because I do think that can be a normal every day way to live. I often (this is not my first time eating this way, and I once actually did it for about five months before I totally lost control) don't get my first meal in because during the time that I'd be inclined to eat, I'm running around and busy. But this morning I picked up a to go menu from a place that I'm pretty sure will have something I can fit into my plan for a first meal and I'm going to make a concerted effort to get those meals in.
Anyone have any thoughts? Or your own stories of not exactly binging? Or see that it is totally clear that what I do is binging?
I really think that BOB has something for me, just not sure if I can or how to implement it. Already, though, I have used it a bit and then not caved to the craving, but I couldn't tell if those were situations where I wouldn't have binged anyway.
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