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Old 12-29-2012, 04:40 PM   #16
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Yeah it's easy to take one step forward and three steps back! Also men can really really really suck. Most men (25-30) are very much so about a woman's body. I've had really mean things said to me too. There was one guy who walked up to me asking me flat out if I knew of someone who'd like to lose weight. Needless to say I went to my car and bawled for an hour. It's strange how cruelly people treat those that are overweight.

Maybe here are a few suggestions?

List your goals! List them on this thread. bookmark the page. I have been watching what I eat for a month now and lost 13lbs. I was aiming for 10lbs. Most people list their goals in their sig once they have the permission to do so after a month of activity.

Participate on the forums! Gosh this place is so motivational. I love reading people's success stories!

Give yourself time. A year isn't a long time. Christmas will be here again before you know it. In the mean time make a strategy. Example: For valentines day I am going to treat myself to an extremely delicious Raspberry Cheesecake Protein shake instead of indulging on chocolate.

Educate yourself! Read up on foods that are ok to eat while out with friends. Also learn how to cook if you haven't already. It's so important and a part of growing up - I denied this a long time.

The thing about people passing you by and getting healthy is a conundrum, I know. However the difference is they started and have stayed consistent. This isn't a game of catch up. It's a journey. A process. You don't have to be at your goal weight to be hit on or complimented either!

I wish I could hug you! Heck I wish I was your weight right now. Lol. I'm at 232 and Onederland seems so far away, but I can do it. So can you.
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205 post college weight - 02/27/2013 | 199 (Onederland) - 03/20/2013 | 175 Shopping Spree! - 05/21/2013|
155 - 15 more lbs! | 140 Revised Goal Weight

Last edited by Scondy : 12-29-2012 at 04:45 PM.
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Old 12-29-2012, 05:23 PM   #17
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The first thing that helped me to stop feeling so hopelessly helpless was to really and truly stop caring what others think.

Realize that you do deserve the things you want in life and that there's more to being happy than losing weight.

Right now I'm the biggest I've ever been. I have tons of dark purple stretch marks and my skin is going to loosy goosy for a while after I lose significant weight. I alway have bags under my eyes from smoking for 7 years and I'm only 21. I'm a pear shape and I have horrendous cellulite. Also, I have small boobs. Really small. I have an eating disorder that I can't seem to figure out...

But who cares?! I'm making progress with my eating every day. My legs work. They carry me around wherever I need to go, even covered in fat and cellulite. I can do kick *** tricks with a hula hoop. I love yoga. My skin might not be flawless but it's there and there's nothing abnormal about it. I'm relatively healthy. I love my green eyes. My goal in life is to travel all over and eventually settle down somewhere and build a house that runs completely on alternative energy. I want to grow vegetables and raise chickens. I'm working towards a bachelors in two languages and someday I'd like my masters in one of those languages. I pride myself on my independance. I know so many beautiful women who feel worthless if they're not someone else's shining star. The Buddha says to make of yourself a light.

Yeah, family and friends are important but in your darkest hour it might just be you, and you have to take your own hand and lead yourself out of the darkness and towards something better.

I can't tell you which way to go, but nobody except you can do that. You have to find that path yourself but it really starts with you deciding you want to do it, and realizing it might take a few trys to get where you want to be.
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Old 12-29-2012, 06:38 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brandiduhhh View Post
Everyone around me is getting healthy and passing me up. I weigh the same as my boyfriend and that makes me so uncomfortable. But I think what really got me was when a grown man, 25-30 ish made fun of my weight. A GROWN MAN. Words hurt more than actions with me. I guess I'm just sensitive.
I don't think it's especially sensitive to be hurt by something like that. It's totally understandable. It's truly disgusting behavior to act how that man did. What kind of adult sets out to make someone else feel bad about their appearance? A sad one.
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Old 12-29-2012, 08:21 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chubbiegurl View Post
We all have regrets and sometimes wish we could go back in time. The good news is that u have a future, u can change everything u have wronged. Just believe in yourself. U can do it, I promise. I know how it feels when u think u have to satisfy everyone's needs, but u can't make everyone happy so why not start with yourself. U will notice when u r happy so will other be around u. Good luck. Start slow and u will get to where u want to be.
Thank you!
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Old 12-29-2012, 08:23 PM   #20
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Oh honey. You're so young and have so much life ahead of you. Don't jump down the rabbit hole of eating disorders. It's a very dangerous disease that unfortunately kills so many YOUNG women and men. It doesn't let go easily and a lot of people never recover from it.

You can and WILL get healthy. It won't be easy and it will suck, but there are a lot of great people here to help you along the way. I'm just starting too, but you have to ask yourself if you want to be miserable and hungry now or miserable and overweight this time next year. That's my motivation. To not be at this same point next year.

You say everyone is passing you by and getting healthy. Can you join a gym with one of those people, trade recipes, call each other for encouragement? Either way, we're here.

Don't give up! You can do this!
It's just very hard to cook healthy food when you're so poor. I'm in college full time and working also paying all my own bills. I just don't know how I'm going to find the time to do everything that I should be doing
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Old 12-29-2012, 08:32 PM   #21
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I really hope some day to have the same hope and see the same light you guys do. I think for me it's just a matter of proving to myself that I can do it. I really miss my old self even though I thought I was unhappy with myself then. I never really knew how far I had come until I looked at a picture after I had gained 60 pounds. I looked SO GOOD. I was only 15 when I lost like 40 pounds. I didn't see it as big deal. But now that I know i'm getting older and that it's only going to get harder I see that I need to make changes. You guys have such a great outlook. I know that I can do it. I'm just having a hard time making a reality. All of the success stories on here are so unbelievable. Some people look like totally new human beings.
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Old 12-29-2012, 08:45 PM   #22
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All of the success stories on here are so unbelievable. Some people look like totally new human beings.

But you should remember that they are not. They might be stronger because of what they've conquered but they are always themselves. They are simply taking control of an aspect of their life that they were unhappy with. Much like a very thin person who wants to build muscle, or a smoker who wants to quit, there are realistic benefits to losing weight and unrealistic benefits to losing weight.

Also, you're life doesn't start 30, 40 or 80 pounds from now. That's another important thing.

You're weight issues might be deeply rooted. My issues with food started when I was very young and have become seemingly endless, but I have had friends who were simply uneducated and, with some education and changs in habit, lost what extra weight they had. Every one is different and you should not compare lives, bodies or situations. You're unique and your fight is unique.

You must always wake up every morning knowing that 'You can do this.' If you tell yourself negative things you will not have the emotional or physical strength to push through.

I once read that you should talk to yourself the way you would talk to your best friend, or a sibling or a parent or even a small child. You would never berate your sister for overeating. You would never call her a disgusting cow. You would never say she can't achieve the things she wants. So why would you say these things to yourself? Obviously I don't know what you tell yourself, but for most people in our situation we can get caught in a cycle of negative self-talk that is unhelpful at best and completely detrimental at worst.
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Old 12-30-2012, 12:02 AM   #23
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You're post sounded like it was coming out of my mouth.

I just wanted to let you know that I understand and I am on the same boat as you. I have had ups and downs and I am currently down. Like you, I think about food constantly and the only thing that makes me happy is eating... until I realize what I have done, at least.

Also like you, I am 19 years old. If you would like to chat or anything, let me know.

You're strong and you can do anything.

xox
{*Tillie*}

edit: Thought I would add a little... I actually have been hospitalized for an eating disorder (I was a tweenager at the time), and believe me, developing an ED will not solve your issues... it simply changes your current negative eating habbits into a different kind of negative eating habbit. I bounced back from mine, went from about 75 pounds to 180 pounds. Normal? No. Don't starve yourself. It will come back to bite.

Last edited by Tillie : 12-30-2012 at 12:06 AM. Reason: adding info :-)
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Old 12-30-2012, 12:50 AM   #24
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Everyone on here is so understanding. I've been to other forums/blogs where people give harsh, un-helping criticism. Thank you all so much for being so encouraging. What really makes me feel bad is that I feel like I'm too young to look like this. What will my body look like when i'm done?
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Old 12-30-2012, 07:15 AM   #25
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Take it slow and do not look at tomorrow or yesterday, just look at right now. Looking beyond right now, (for me) is to overwhelming, It seems like too big of a task, but just for today this hour, this minute, I can do it.

And get away from where food is, or make it harder to get to the food where ever it is, I seem to eat on impulse if it is only a few stepsaway it will be gone and I won’t even know I ate it… L

What make you smile?... I find that I eat more when I am sad or upset but when I am happy, I eat less and have somewhat more willpower…

I try to keep simple pictures near me that make me smile and feel good.
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Old 12-30-2012, 07:05 PM   #26
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Aww, I have been where you are. I still am where you are in many ways, just older and wishing I had gotten help sooner.

I am also here for you like many others who have already chimed in. And while each of us has to get through this eating disorder in his or her own way, don't feel bad about getting some professional help. I speak from experience when I say that it can be helpful to get some treatment. Especially when you are young and have a wonderful life ahead of you. There is no shame in reaching out for help.

If I can be of any assistance, please let me know.
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