[serendipity907]

I have been going through a pretty stressful time lately, my best friend has been going through some pretty awful medical issues, we are still waiting to hear the final results but have been told to 'expect' the diagnosis to be cancer. I'm still hanging onto the hope it is something else still, but it's still very scary.

I've found the situation has been bringing back a few old disordered eating habits. I am bingeing, albeit small scale and sometimes feel like purging and restricting heavily. I'm doing pretty well with ignoring most of these feelings but I seem to have developed a new bizarre way of handling them.

It occurred to me when I buy my binge/purge food most of the time, by the time I've gone and bought it I don't really feel like eating it-But I do cause what else am I gonna do with it? It occurred to me a while ago to chuck it all on top of the kitchen cabinets where I can't see/reach it. I forgot it was even up there... So I've taken to essentially buying binge food and chucking it up there. I thought I'd just about covered all the dysfunctional eating habits but I've never done this before now!

Does anyone else do this? I guess it is better than eating a tonne of chocolate and candy but I'm not sure what to do with it long term (aka when I run out of space ). I can't decide if this is weird or actually quite a good idea.

[Psyence]

I don't do it, but I can see how it would help. For me, the trip to the shops is as much a part of the ritual as eating the food is, so I can understand how it works for you. It's like satisfying the urge to binge without going so far as to actually do it.

Whether or not it's weird or not though ... isn't binging itself weird? Hah. I think it's just a way that your mind has come to terms with binging, it know it doesn't want to eat, it just wants the security of food.

Maybe see how you feel if you remove some of the older stuff - does it make you feel unsafe or do you feel okay with it? If you could do that you could possible run a sort of system where food over a certain age gets chucked out.

[lizarddau]

hey i wonder if your local charity shop will take it??....perhaps some of the newer stuff??..there is always someone out there who needs it more than perhaps you do??...cheers liz

[kelleyb]

No, I don't think it is weird.

Maybe you could take it to work- or have someone you know do that?

[joefla70]

First, sorry to hear about your friend. I hope that it turns out not to be cancer.

I don't know if your way of handing your tendency to binge is weird, but is it very interesting. I've never heard of anybody who has an obsession with BUYING binge food -- but doesn't have the corresponding urge to eat it.

It reminds me of something one of my teachers used to say. "People usually say they want to MAKE a lot of money. But, usually, what they really mean is they want to SPEND a lot of money. They don't care if they make it or not."

Your obsession with buying the binge food - rather being obsessed with eating it -- is like the people who would rather make money than spend it.