Oh. My. Goodness. 4 days of auditioning and I got cut at the very end- today I buried my emotions in food. Honestly- I've probably had 5000 calories today. And you know what... Bingeing is so not satisfying, and it doesnt help anything. I felt like I was punishing myself with food all day- "I'm A failure, may as well eat like one." so stupid. I'm getting back to my old self tomorrow. I'm not going to hate myself because I messed up. I'm going to learn from it and move on. 2 binges in a month is actually really good for me- and I did make my 21 day goal. I refuse to look at this as a failure- I've learned from the experience and will move forward, doing better tomorrow and without any self-hatred.
While I'm not proud of how I reacted today, all I can do is look ahead. I can be proud that it's happened much less frequently- and VERY proud that it's been nearly three months since I have purged after a binge.
Sorry that was so long- writing that out where someone else will see it really helps me to get a better perspective.. I think about how someone else would respond to me if I told them about my slip-up, and treat myself the same way.
*huge hug* to you danzingurl, auditions are extremely stressful and getting cut after a long wait is a terrible, awful feeling. I think it's a "natural" human response to emotionally eat and I hope you aren't taking it as a judgment of your whole character that you turned to food at a tough time. Nothing good will come of further hate and pressure on yourself and you are NOT a failure! You have the right attitude though and I am glad to hear you haven't purged in a long time.
And we beat February! For all those who improved on their relationship with food along this month, no matter whether they remained binge-free or not, a huuuuge round of applause
danzigurl what kind of audition did you have if i may ask? wow 4 days...i would probably binge right after the first one...but sorry you didn't gt it. and binging two times in a month is still better than binging every day.
so yay guys another month has gone by...and i made it.it hit me today that most of my binging was connected with my candida and i'm trying to do everything i can to get back to normal state.
I had really bad binging yesterday. I waited my mom to come. It is always stressful because she is afraid of long flights and needs my help after. I've eaten a half bag of cheerios (well, it is a huge bag from Costco). And it was really HARD to stop.
I do not blame myself but... still .. Hard to accept that I can lost control. Whatever. I am myself today and probably will do another IF tomorrow.
I hear you Tyla... Crazy that even though I feel so bad after bingeing, it's so hard to get back to regular eating... But we can be in it together!!
Missinshine- it was an audition for so you think you can dance- I went to Vegas week last year, but didn't make it past the "choreography round" this year-- if you've ever seen it before- so I was pretty disappointed. But there's always next year!
Princess Sophia- glad you're getting back on the wagon!
danzingurl, thanks for the warm welcome back. I needed that, since my head was hanging in shame.
Wow, you were auditioning for "So you think you can dance?" And you even got to go to Las Vegas last year?!That's fantastic! I'm so sorry you didn't get to go further this year, but, like you said, there's next year. Good luck to you!!
Danzingirl, I had not read your post about the audition. So sorry to hear you were that close! And it was for that show???? WOW! I cannot follow a basic zumba lesson for dummies and you were auditioning for that! Girl, you are great!
But noticing that food does not make it for you anymore is a great discovery. That compensates for the binge...
Let's do this, people: let's start a new thread for March and start afresh, how about that? I'll do it right away and we will check with one another every couple of days. See you in the new thread!
Yesterday I didn't BINGE, but I felt out of control and like I was eating as an emotional response. Just grazed on stuff all day long, mindlessly shoveled pasta in while reading 3FC, and had a HUGE dinner even though I wasn't hungry later at night just because I felt like I had "earned" it by having a long day at work.
Wow i was so tempted to binge yesterday...but i have been 100% compliant with my diet on weekdays, and i knew if i binged, i'd hit a new low. Thankfully the urge passed.
For all those who improved on their relationship with food along this month, no matter whether they remained binge-free or not, a huuuuge round of applause 
