a revelation...
 

I don't post much on this site, but lurk frequently...however today I felt I needed to make an admission. I was reading information on pinterest last night and came across a blog about a woman fighting with binge eating. I never thought much of it until she posted a picture from a magazine about the guidelines determining whether you are a binge eater.....I am.

I thought I had 'control' issues and it was just my poor willpower that lead to constant yo-yoing in my weight. I thought it was normal to get a little caesars pizza and eat it in my car when I had a bad day..then throwing away the box so that my husband never knew. I eat until I want to vomit, often thinking how easy it would be to do so. I thought it was normal to be obsessive over the food in the house, getting upset that my husband eats something that I had planned on eating later when he was asleep or in another room. I obsess over what he eats, i feel guilty after eating what i eat, I eat until i feel so ashamed of myself I don't know what to do. But in front of my husband, he sees me eating small portions, eating healthy.

I can get it in control for a while and lose weight, but then I don't know what happens.

I needed to tell someone, so I decided to post here. Thanks for reading.

Been there done that. Hiding things in the cuboard so that they will be there when i 'need' them. Eating it on the way home from work so that no one will know. Two things I have opted to do, one is to not have bad food in my house. I have little baggies in my refrigerator that I have filled with precut veggies, cheese/meat etc. "Good snacks". The second, I just am not eating fast food anymore. Keep up the good work and know you are not alone!

Hiding away to eat, concealing what we are eating when somebody walks in undespectedly, keeping the smoking guns our of sight till we can dispose of the wrappings that would tell on us, well... It is important to know that is an eating disorder, and to also know we can control it. It will always be there as a compulsion, so don't stop fighting!

Thanks, I'm doing research now that I'm aware that I do have a problem and trying to find out what I can do. I can identify why I am doing it thanks to the sticky at the top. But it's finding out how to deal with it.

Good for you for recognising this about yourself! I suppose I'm in a similar position to you. I've realised I've had a problem for a long time, but just really starting to tackle it now.

I almost feel relieved that I know a name for it. For so long I have beat myself up for not having the control everyone else has. Now I can find ways to deal with it and understand that there's another obstacle to deal with. It's not because I'm weak