Things aren't well for me right now. My boyfriend and I have been long-distance our entire relationship (3+ years) and I can't seem to figure out how to bring our lives together. He is unenemployed, and has been twice in our relationship, once for 10 months, currently for 8 in a field others seem to find work in easily (programming).
I am unemployed since a short, summer job end after I graduated in June. I have to defer my loans because I can't pay for them. I'm trying to apply for graduate school but just applying will use up most of my savings and I'm so depressed I'm reallly behind on where I need to be to make applying worth it.
I live at home, which is great since it is free, but there is a lot of stress here. Especialy when my college-age sister comes home for the holidays and there are cookies every other night, and desserts, and convienence food (microwavable stuff like hot pockets), and I can be strong for some time, but when she's here for a month for christmas I suddenly find myself eating stuff I never even eat anymore.
And all this stress piles on me, and I do what I always do, which is binge. I've stopped eating out of boredom, I've even stopped eating just because I'm sad - this is different, I binge because I'm stressed and for some reason I think food will solve my problems.
I don't even know how to stop stress eating. To stop boredom eating, I stimullate myself (reading book, etc), to fight pure being sad eating, I focus on the fact being sad will end (and I'll probably feel better after some rest), but my stressors seem to always be hanging over me, I don't know how to ease them, and sometimes the person who could comfort me (my boyfriend) makes things worse.
I don't know why I'm writing this, I'm just tired of people saying how great I look, and sure I'm losing weight overall but it really slows it down when I'm binging once a week. The other 6 days of the week I do so good I forget how I can get, I forget the stomach aches, I forget the guilt, I feel normal.