Serious bingeing for two months...

[ubergirl]

My story in a nutshell:

I have a LONG history of binging that I never really got under control. Then, in June 2009, panic and determination led me to make a major overhaul. I lost 110 pounds, got in shape, and really got a handle on the binging. I did not binge at all, not even once, for over eighteen months. Then, I started having some mild episodes-- bingy type behavior but sticking with foods that really didn't make me pack on the pounds... I put back on about fifteen pounds, but I was holding on to most of the weight loss, felt good, and kept exercising.

But around about August 2011, things really started to fall apart... I started doing some of the old behaviors: buying binge food, eating in the car, eating certain foods (cake with frosting, for example...)

For about the last eight weeks or so, I've been binging like there is no tomorrow-- candy in my purse, secret trips to the bakery section, etc. etc.

I have not set foot in the gym for two months. I've put on twenty-five pounds in two months. (ticker not accurate, but I did weigh myself and so I know how much I weigh... which is a start...)

Here's the thing: I know why. It's stress, and for me, it doesn't have to be horrible life events, bad things happening, it can just be too much job stress coupled with a whole bunch of performance anxiety, coupled with a desperate need for some R and R time that I can't figure out how to get...

The last two months have been a roller coaster (in a good way) as I've achieved some lifelong goals, and yet, I've coped with it by BINGE EATING and here I sit, almost half way back to where I started.

I desperately need some coping tools, but I'm not sure where to start.

[HikingChloe]

Good morning, I am so sorry you are experiencing this set-back. I am going to let others comment on the binging because I have realized that I don't really touch the experience some of you have.

However. Today, please enter the gym. It isn't even about the scale number or the food, I just think that the one step might make you feel just a little better. Even if you can't do a full workout. Sometimes healthier eating follows healthier body work.

Best of luck. Hopefully you will get more feedback on the cravings. I do know how terrible I feel under stress, especially when it feels like there is no way out. I am there right now.

[one small bowl]

I am EXACTLY where you are, same situation, same everything.

I have learned that weight loss does not change anything except our body size. Bingeing behaviors are not cured by weight loss. We assume the loss creates a point of no return but that has never been a truth. I have lost 80-120 pounds three times in my adult life, here I am again trying to get it all off. Even keeping it off for years does not prevent the behaviours from coming back. I kept 120 pounds off for 7 years. Then one day I stopped the daily work it took to keep it off and I eventually weighed over 300 pounds.

Life happens. Stress levels come and go. We can be strong minded and empowered one day and cowering in a dark closet eating eclairs by the boxful the next. it doesn't seem to make sense and often makes us feel overwhelmed and the negative emotions start swirling and engulfing us.

I am working on the the reality aspect of weight loss. Instead of creating a fight between myself and food impulses, I try to think through to the end result. If I eat this....this will happen. I try to think of how I want to feel vs how I will feel after a binge. It is a one moment at a time thing for me right now, just working it, breathing, relaxing and moving towards my goal line.

Hope you find your path again.

[Loving Me]

I'm sending you a PM Uber...

[dragonwoman64]

Hey, Uber, I just wanted to wish you well. I struggled with compulsive overeating for many years of my life. I worked with a therapist who specialized in eating disorders, and I did a little group therapy. It certainly adds a challenge to dieting and getting healthy. Have faith that you have within in everything you need to overcome this, and that you can find the resources you need to do whatever you put your mind to. You're not alone.

[blueheron777]

Glad you wrote us here--good for you.

Some suggestions:

1. Don't beat yourself up--you stumbled on the path but can and will pick yourself up.

2. You could start by over-eating healthier things like huge salads with real dressing, popcorn, Puffed Wheat cereal or an entire bag of stir-fry veggies with a can of sliced water chestnuts and some stir-fry sauce (courtesy of a poster on another thread)...all of these for volume while you get yourself into a healthier eating pattern.

3. Go back to the gym for a look-around, even if you don't exercise at first.

4. You don't weigh 600 lb or 500 lb or 400 lb or 300 lb...you don't have THAT much to lose to get back to where you were. And as you know, every few pounds makes a big difference.

5. All of us have been were you were...we know all about binge eating. But the fact that you posted here about it here means you took the first step towards getting back in control.

6. What ever stressful things are happening in your life, getting control over your eating will take away one of them and become a victory.

7. I highly recommend the Beck books. The principle that helped me the most was building will power--every small choice you make, whether around eating or in other things, adds to it, until you become a person that makes the right choices all the time.

All the best to you as you return to the healthy eating habits that you were so successful at before.