Okay, in the past I've gone to OA meetings. They didn't feel like a right fit at all to me. I'm not addicted to food. I don't binge on anything. I used to graze throughout the day many years ago, but that was for a specific health reason that no longer exists and I don't do it any more.
I don't think about food all day. I have no problem turning stuff down. I can stay away from sugar. I don't do fast food. In fact, my food choices are pretty darn healthy and I don't eat processed foods of any sort. Mostly veggies, some proteins. Basically a Paleolithic eating plan and I feel really good when I eat like that, so I'm motivated to stick to it.
I'm 5'11" and I weigh at around 300 lbs. I struggle with weight loss. I'm PCOS and type 2 diabetic, insulin resistant, etc. I have to stay on top of what I'm eating or I'll just gain back the 55lbs I've lost. It took me over three years to lose that. I'm 50. There will be no tremendous whooshes of weight loss for me, ever.
(Preamble done.)
So, I start my day, everyday, with the plan. The plan to make the right food choices. And I do great, eating an average of 1600 calories a day by 7 pm. (I don't lose weight unless I eat very low carb and keep calories under 1700.)The issue for me is the hours of 7-9 pm. My witching hours. The hours that my Dr. Jekyl appetite transforms into Mr. Hyde. Like the character who gets chained up before sunset, I've prepared my home. There's only healthy food in my house. The snacks are healthy and, more importantly, few. If I want to eat something, I have to cook it. And I bank on my being too tired/lazy to do it. Some nights I'm okay. But there are others...when leftovers aren't safe! And I can make a snack out of anything!
And the later evening eating isn't just a small treat. I can put away up to another 1000 calories without even thinking. I'm not hungry. But I'm intensely edgy. And I don't have the skills to deal with that, yet. Winding down before bed has always been difficult for me. Food has always helped me with it.
This is a really old habit. I'd like to break it. Forever. Because I can't seem to drop below 300 lbs for more than a day or two. Not sure why this is so hard. If anyone has any suggestions, I'd love to hear them.