Self- Sabotager

[aliasihaya]

I think that I've come to the terms that I'm the one that sabotages my efforts to lose weight. I've always blamed lots of things. Stress, work travel, friends, family, depression.....by saying that it's too hard to change things with these things in my life. But in the end I'm the only one that's stopping myself from doing better.

Do you ever get that burst of energy to do better? Eat better, exercise, live better. And then you crash. The crash can be due to any number of factors. For me, it's usually getting back into the habits that make it easier to make execuses as to why I'm not working on my weight issues. And then it's near to impossible to find that burst of energy because I'm so disappointed in myself for gaining back the little bit of weight that I had finally lost.

But how do I get out of the mode of self-sabotage? Lately I feel as if I need to hole up in my house and stay away from all outside influences. But that's not a life either. So how does one continue on with normal daily activities yet break the cycle of sabotage?

Not really sure if I'm asking a question or just spouting rhetoric. But any comments are appreciated. Thanks.

[liliesinmycereal]

Err.. I've been self sabotaging myself for like a month.... I just try to push a little more to make myself get back into habit. I state my goals over and over again trying to do better and reward myself for the efforts I do make. Reminding myself anything that I do towards my goal is better than not trying at all.

[one small bowl]

I am exactly in the same place you are and I feel the same way. It's like the balloon deflated and that same energy to pursue the weight loss has fizzled out.

I am on plan more than I am off plan, but the difference between the two keeps me maintaining between 230 and 235. FOREVER it seems like. I get frustrated and irritable about it all and a bad attitude to boot.

Sometimes just trying a new tactic helps bring back the enthusiasm. I recently bought a ceramic bowl shaped like a cat that makes me smile when I eat from it. It holds 1 cup of food and so I am aware of how much I am eating volume wise, which helps from the calorie counting burnout.

Sometimes just gentle self talk about what I really want and what I can do in the moment to bring it helps. Sometimes I need to step aside from it all and pamper myself with a hot bath or working on a project I enjoy to release the stress build up.

The thing I try and remind myself is that only I can hinder my weight loss goal. No place or thing or person or situation can, only me. If I want to get to goal I know deep down what I must do and that is what I need to focus on.

[JayZeeJay]

This happened to me recently. But I had a good idea what was causing it - severe anxiety about some big changes in my life that were all happening at once. For me, knowing the cause is helping me to overcome the "symptoms" - eating off plan, even binging (which I haven't done in forever).

I have seen posts by other people that emphasize just getting back on plan and making your healthy behaviors become a habit, without analyzing (or over-analyzing) why you went off in the first place. But for me, addressing the underlying cause of my self-destructing behavior was what turned it around and put me back on track. I had to do things that specifically addressed what I was afraid of - career failure, being entirely alone in a new place. Then I was able to think positively about my weight loss future.

Is there/are there one or more specific factors that you can identify? Not just "stress", "depression" etc. but something particular you can change to help promote healthy habits? Or do you think it's purely self-sabotage, that there's a reason that you actually don't want to lose weight?

[9jachic]

I can totally relate. I m still working on over eating. I have an incredible tendency to want t eat late at night. I am working on being firm with myself. I basically decided that I was going to do something new every day. So since over eating is my main issue, I have decided that for the next 21 days I will not eat after 9 p.m. That is my cut off period. I hope that by next month I can change the time to 8:45. My hope is that by xmas/new year, i will stop eating by 7:30 pm. I am also aiming to drink at least 8 glasses of water a day. fingers crossed.

[boomerang]

I am glad I found your thread because I was about to start a new one and as a returning member I am reluctant to do so for fear that I am repeating a topic that was already discussed. I was going to talk about "saboteurs who love us" and I kept coming back to the same thought: ultimately we can place the responsibility for triggers on anyone's doorstep but if we are honest, it always comes back to our own decisions.
Thank you for circumventing my (clearly) faulty thinking and getting right to the crux of the matter. No matter what happens around me and how many times I am faced with "sneak attacks" of food from well meaning loved ones, I AM the one who allows herself to fall into the trap of "punishing" them by starting a brand new binge with "their" temptation.
It is interesting that you brought up the possibility of "locking yourself away" from the world in order to avoid temptation. Would you believe I have actually DONE that? There was a short period of time when I felt so out of control that I actually isolated myself from my parents for 3 weeks, in order to feel like I even had a chance to control my eating. In reality this is not such an odd concept, after all that is what the "camps" are intended to do. People who are addicted and out of control sometimes need that kind of isolation. Unfortunately for us, those of us who are addicted to something that we NEED in order to survive, that is not a realistic approach. We find temptation every minute of every day.
People who are addicted to gambling, prescription or illegal drugs, even smoking and drinking, are not bombarded by their trigger substances hundreds of times a day. They do not have to make a minute by minute CHOICE of WHAT to consume. They simply know that they will make a decision to use or not to use. Our addiction is so complex that the best scientists, mental health professionals and MDs have not been able to find a solution that is permanent and effective across the board, for everyone.

I have more respect and esteem for those struggling with this issue than I can possibly say and it is not only because I suffer from it myself but because I truly believe that it is a life-long struggle. Simply not giving up and continuing to work on it is worthy of accolades! I am so grateful for support systems such as these and for the people who generously take the time to participate and live through the process in such a public way and giving each other encouragement, help with ideas, solutions or just a 'soft shoulder' when things are not easy...