uuu so many new faces...welcome all...
i have been super busy therefore i binged. kinda only 1000 or less cal over my cal limit but i feel so bad. and sleepy, all the sugar is making me unable to study and work normally, i'm so mellow, barely keeping up with everything. i hope weekend will be better. i just got into the old habbit and pattern of going to store and sneaking my food around and hiding from my family and i'm tired of it but i still do it. it's like my body has been possesed and it does things on it's own even if my mind is screamin no no no. really sucks.
and another thing, 2 days ago i was invited to a wedding which is in two months. i was so nervous because it means my whole family will be there, and that's a really BIG family. now i'm thinking how to lose at least 20 pounds in two months or not to go at all. i already found some cute dresses and i really want to flaunt my body because they still think i'm skinny, which is far from truth and i would be really uncomfortable having to explain everyone why i got big again. i really want to go but if i don't lose at least half of excess weight i probably won't go. i'm so mad for letting myself get fat again.
uuu so many new faces...welcome all...
i have been super busy therefore i binged. kinda only 1000 or less cal over my cal limit but i feel so bad. and sleepy, all the sugar is making me unable to study and work normally, i'm so mellow, barely keeping up with everything. i hope weekend will be better. i just got into the old habbit and pattern of going to store and sneaking my food around and hiding from my family and i'm tired of it but i still do it. it's like my body has been possesed and it does things on it's own even if my mind is screamin no no no. really sucks.
and another thing, 2 days ago i was invited to a wedding which is in two months. i was so nervous because it means my whole family will be there, and that's a really BIG family. now i'm thinking how to lose at least 20 pounds in two months or not to go at all. i already found some cute dresses and i really want to flaunt my body because they still think i'm skinny, which is far from truth and i would be really uncomfortable having to explain everyone why i got big again. i really want to go but if i don't lose at least half of excess weight i probably won't go. i'm so mad for letting myself get fat again.
I would RSVP and go to the event. Weddings are the BEST way to make yourself accountable to your weight loss goal. If you can go with just 10 pounds to lose, then you only need to lose about 1.25 pounds per week for 8 weeks (or 2.5 pounds every 2 weeks). That is very doable with just diet. Think about what you can accomplish with diet and exercise (like just walking 40 min every day). So i would go, you already have a dress. Just make the RSVP now before you change your mind, and you'll start seeing yourself making the necessary changes to make your 1.25 pound goal every week.
Day 3- I think I'm detoxed from all the sugar and processed food I ate 3 days ago, cravings are getting better. I'm thinking of not ruining this and staying on plan for Memorial day, if I want more to eat it will be fruit or yogurt.
Beila- I don't feel guilty either about eating extra fruit & yogurt, if it saves me from binging, i'm happy.
Morning of Day 4. I have very little appetite this week. I had ice cream yesterday after a disappointingly small dinner (fit it within calories) and was totally fine.
Day 1 again. I fell into a binge last night. What happened was I was feeling very weak and had been having binge urges all day, but I convinced myself I was just going to have a little dinner -- nope, not last night. I know it was a binge because my roomate was in the dining room and I just wanted her to leave so I could eat and take seconds/thirds with no one watching.
Beila - thank you for the advice. There have been brief times in my life where I have been ok with just eating healthy in general, but lately I just cannot handle the idea of putting something in my body without figuring out how many calories it will cost me. That is, until a binge sets in and all my self-control is completely crowded out by the cravings for foods. The problem is that even when my approach to calories was relaxed, I still got urges to binge and acted on them. I can see how a change might help, but I'm just not sure how to do it and feel safe. I am working on finding a nutritionist/dietician who can help me work through some of this stuff and get me on a meal plan with a little variety.
Here's a quick tip that I am trying -- I put together a one page document that has a bunch of motivational quotes (My fave is "We never repent of having eaten too little" - Thomas Jefferson) and have them tacked up all the places I go throughout my day. I even made the fonts and colors all pretty :-) A little crazy? Yes, but if it stops a binge I'll do anything.
Keep up the hard work ladies!
MissSunshine: I have to agree with Beila on the wedding. You can do it! Make it a challenge. It's work, but obviously something you have never done before, since you say "I can't believe I let myself get this way again!" I feel ya there. This is my 3rd time to lose this 20 lbs!
Finishing up Day 2. No headaches, not hungry during the day, but OMG I want either something really cold and sweet or something hot and sweet, like a popsicle or hot cocoa. Detoxing from poor choices really stinks. If I hadn't done so poorly over the wknd, I could at least have an Edy's Fruit Bar!
Dinner was satisifying. I had a yummi SBD chicken taco bake, but I am so used to having my sf dessert afterwards!
Awww Missunshine don't be so hard on yourself, I know the feeling of letting the weight come back is awful, I am in that mode now, but just get back up and push through and know you have done it before and you can do it again. You should go to that wedding and like Beila said, it is a great way to keep yourself accountable and keep you working towards a goal. You can do it, you know you can. We will all be here to cheer you on
I have had a very bad week..and despite all the good wishes and ideas, still continue to binge - outta control - feeling very ashamed. I don't think I can do this any more. Weigh in tomorrow and will have to face the music...will etl you all know how it goes.
I almost caved and really sabotoged my plan today. I was at the cafeteria at the hospital and about to get my bananas for my fridge (I ran out) and I saw this AMAZING (bleeep--I'm not gonna say, but it's a dessert!), and I got one thinking it's free, and I"ll just take a bite and throw it away in the trash before I get to my car. I got to my car, and I was already 2/3 of finishing it, and realized what I did, so I crumpled it up in the white paper sleeve and just tossed it out the side of my car. I know, I littered, but I was in a rush, and I didn't want to walk to find a trash can with it in my hand and still tempted to finish it. So that was like 200 cals in a matter of 2 minutes! I'm just glad I crumpled it. The old me would have eaten the whole thing. I went to the gym today and did my cardio exercises and strength training and burned 1100 cals! My gosh, this is a BREAKTHROUGH since I haven't done this amount of exercise in 2-3 months! I've gotten too lazy and realize that I need to be accountable for the overages that I intake and work out more when I do go over.
K9Owner--Hang in there, day 3 and 5 are hard for me for some reason, but 6 and on are easy, to me at least.
Erin--Not a bad idea. I currently have post it notes on my TV and computer screen that say "do something active" so to remind me not to do things. The motivational quotes you are talking about can be photocopied into small cards and carried with you in your wallet too, that way when going to the store, you whip out your wallet to pay for your food, and are reminded that you should eat right and get healthy food. I also heard people saying that if they will binge, they must do it in front of a mirror. That is the only way they will allow themselves to eat. And once it starts, the disgust of looking at yourself stuffing yourself is like a way to "snap" out of it. So put mirrors around the places you binge (desk, bed, bedroom, kitchen). I've never tried it though as I'm too ashamed of my own image while binging. I guess that takes a bit more courage to try. It's like I know I'm not gonna like looking at myself doing that so I haven't tried it yet. It's supposed to be very effective though from what I heard.
Fruit lady--and Everyone else-- stay strong! We can make it through this week! Fruit and yogurt really are my saving grace!
Day 17 finished with no binge, but I came SO close!
I'm not sure what the trigger was because a few things were out of my routine yesterday, but come early evening I was desparate to binge I was sure I could feel actual physical pain from the cravings and I went into such a bad mood.
DH was late home from a course so had dinner in front of me when I'd already eaten with DD and I really wanted a second dinner, but I knew I also wanted something really sweet.
I made myself a low cal hot chocolate drink and had a small snack with it but even with the sweetness it didn't kill the craving. I managed about another hour sat there hating how I felt and hating everything, before I decided I couldn't take anymore and went to bed.
Today is going to be a struggle again as DH is on a late shift and I have several appointments to attend. I'm actually pretty scared of how it's going to go, so I think today is going to be an hour at a time kind of day.
Beila, I noticed your reply to my post in the other thread about my rubbish 1 pound loss, but I thought this would be a better place to aim questions at you. Do you think that 2 pounds a week is too much of an ask for someone like me who cant actually manage a week without a binge at the moment? I am trying to tackle this issue and make this a lifestyle change and quit the binges, but I feel a bit sad in a way at the thought of never binging again, so i panic and just do it anyway! I dont know why I cant have 1 treat and enjoy it, I have to eat 1000 treats way past the point of comfort! Im so disappointed with myself today, maybe I need to weigh myself daily to keep accountable because after 11 days without weighing, that 1 pound loss was a big disappointment!
Hi everyone
I really thought I was going to give in to binging on a popsicle that I know I'm not supposed to have since I'm detoxing from carbs atm,
but I didn't. If I had planned ahead and made sf jello, this would not have been an issue. Live and learn.
So, Day 3--here we go!
Beila, I noticed your reply to my post in the other thread about my rubbish 1 pound loss, but I thought this would be a better place to aim questions at you. Do you think that 2 pounds a week is too much of an ask for someone like me who cant actually manage a week without a binge at the moment? I am trying to tackle this issue and make this a lifestyle change and quit the binges, but I feel a bit sad in a way at the thought of never binging again, so i panic and just do it anyway! I dont know why I cant have 1 treat and enjoy it, I have to eat 1000 treats way past the point of comfort! Im so disappointed with myself today, maybe I need to weigh myself daily to keep accountable because after 11 days without weighing, that 1 pound loss was a big disappointment!
I weigh usually every morning when I first get up. I record the # in the notes section of My Fitness Pal, but only the one on Friday's is official. Whatever I weigh on Friday--my official WI day--is what I go by all week to tell me if I've actually lost or gained.
I know everyone has to develop something individualized for themselves, but this is what works for me.
Hope you have a better day
I'm not going to let myself do this! I'm not going to let myself be a statistic. I'm going to pull my head head out my you know what and lose this 10 regained pounds and while I'm at it I'm going to lose the extra 5-10 I always wanted to lose. I'm not a failure. The last two days have simply been a result of hormones and severe exhaustion. I'm ready to surrender and accept that there are things that just cannot be in my house. Food is always available and if I'm craving something that badly I can always go get a single serving. There is not need to add temptation in my home.
I cannot go back to 268 lbs, 150 is traumatic enough. Ugh there it is...150 lbs...doesn't matter! It stops here, I refuse to be a statistic. Day 1 is here again and I'm pissed off and determined. I don't want to let you guys down anymore and I want to prove that maintenance can be easy, even for a binger.
I know what I need to do and it's time to do it. I know how to maintain and it's time to accept it. I'm renewed, ready and willing to let go stop obsessing and just do what I know works. Ok, that's enough out of me. Stay strong everyone.
