[bananafana]

I binged bad yesterday. I was near the top of my daily calorie allowance at 7:30 and would have probably gone to bed by 9:30 (I woke up at 5 for work), but then my best friend called and said they were having an impromptu "We Survived" party.

Ok, I thought. I'll go over and have a few drinks. They'll put me over the calorie allowance, but how often does everyone get in the same place at once (answer: uh. Once a year, if that). I further rationalized it by saying that I'm undercutting the calories I would need just to maintain by 900 on this diet.

What I didn't remember is that several of them work second shift and are LATE eaters. So by the time they started cranking out greasy party foods, I had a binging trifecta of sorts going: I was drunk, tired, and hungry.

And I ate. Dear god, I hope I remember all of it, because there can't possible be more. Over the next 5 hours (it was still going til 4), I had 8 mozarrella sticks, god only knows how many tostinos, five cocktail wienies, some chickeny bacony cheesey in a muffin thing, two ice creams, and a partridge in a pear tree.

Ok, not the last one. But I'm sure it couldn't have done any more damage. Cause all that was on top of alcohol and mixers.

Verdict: I gained 3 pounds this morning. I am PRAYING some of it was water weight, but there is no way that I didn't gain some real weight off that. It was just too much.

I'm just so pissed with myself. I've been doing so well, and while I let myself have the occasional cheat day at a restaurant or party, I've really been trying to still be smart about my choices. I just... am I going to have to avoid my friends? All of them are overweight, and all except one can be massive binge eaters.

[mamato2boys]

Aww

It's ok, try to not get too down about it and eat as clean as you can today. I know it's disappointing when things like this happen, I HATE that feeling too.

I don't know what to tell you about your friends. I don't think avoiding them is the answer, forever anyway. But, I can't really talk because I have a binger friend who I am currently avoiding like the plague. I know eventually I will be around her again, but it's going to have to be on my terms and when I'm feeling less vulnerable to food/binges.

I'm sorry I wasn't much help, but just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone, and I hope you're feeling better as today goes on!

[mamato2boys]

Oh, and I had to LOL about the 'we survived' party...hahaha...was this because of the whole May 21st thing? Some of my extended in-law family are waaaay into that, they even work for the organization..I keep thinking about them and wondering what they are doing now. LOL

[bananafana]

I'd imagine they are feeling a bit sheepish. Either in the traditional sense of the word, or else that they are his (whoever predicted it) flock and will still follow him.

And thank you. I know it's just one day, but what gets me is that everyone was encouraging me to eat and cheat. Like literally, "What's a diet if you don't cheat on it? You know you want these! *hands plate full of food*

I shoulda put up a fight at least. I'd feel better.

[mamato2boys]

Yeah, you're probably right. I'm sure they will still be followers for a while...

Maybe your friends don't like it that you are losing weight? They want you to cheat and eat and be fat with them?? Kinda like they don't want to lose you? I dunno...at least now you know you can learn from it and that you will go on. Look how far you've come already!

[bananafana]

What a horrible thought. I'm thinking it's more than they're USED to me pigging out with them at parties, I really don't think it's sabotage. They're good people.

And I thought of a positive to all this. I lost the weight in my hips. Can we pretend I gained it back in my boobs? That'd be nice for a change.

[mamato2boys]

Yeah! That's more of what I meant, sorry!!! I remember when my mom had gastric bypass and was losing a ton of weight, I was sad and just wanted her to eat with me. Not so much that I didn't want her to lose weight, because I DID and wanted her to get healthy (she had a ton of medical issues), I just was-like you said-used to her eating with me. And it was strange when she wasn't anymore.

I'm sure that's all it is, and that they are good people!!

LOL, yes, much better in the boobs than in the hips!! Nice!! hehe!!

[Galatea]

Originally Posted by bananafana

I binged bad yesterday. I was near the top of my daily calorie allowance at 7:30 and would have probably gone to bed by 9:30 (I woke up at 5 for work), but then my best friend called and said they were having an impromptu "We Survived" party.

Ok, I thought. I'll go over and have a few drinks. They'll put me over the calorie allowance, but how often does everyone get in the same place at once (answer: uh. Once a year, if that). I further rationalized it by saying that I'm undercutting the calories I would need just to maintain by 900 on this diet.

What I didn't remember is that several of them work second shift and are LATE eaters. So by the time they started cranking out greasy party foods, I had a binging trifecta of sorts going: I was drunk, tired, and hungry.

And I ate. Dear god, I hope I remember all of it, because there can't possible be more. Over the next 5 hours (it was still going til 4), I had 8 mozarrella sticks, god only knows how many tostinos, five cocktail wienies, some chickeny bacony cheesey in a muffin thing, two ice creams, and a partridge in a pear tree.

Ok, not the last one. But I'm sure it couldn't have done any more damage. Cause all that was on top of alcohol and mixers.

Verdict: I gained 3 pounds this morning. I am PRAYING some of it was water weight, but there is no way that I didn't gain some real weight off that. It was just too much.

I'm just so pissed with myself. I've been doing so well, and while I let myself have the occasional cheat day at a restaurant or party, I've really been trying to still be smart about my choices. I just... am I going to have to avoid my friends? All of them are overweight, and all except one can be massive binge eaters.

First thing you need to do is to stop beating yourself up! So what, yesterday sucked, but that was yesterday! Today is today. How can you expect to see positive results if you are feeling so negative? *hugs* Let it go, move forward with today and do your best today. You will work those three pounds off and then you will be right back to where you need to be. Be proud of yourself for what you have reached so far and KNOW that you will continue to be healthy and lose...beating yourself up for something that happened in the past will not assist you in this. Remember how great your original number felt and work your way back toward it.

I hate to say it be use your friends as the example of what you do not want to do rather than the excuse. I know you have had a very rough day and a frustrating morning, but remember that if you plan for every day in advance you are in control of what happens. Don't be afraid to speak up and say, I am so sorry I but can't eat that! Bring your own meals whenever you can and lead your friends by example! You can do this!!!

[krampus]

Hey listen, you're not going to regain 55 pounds after one day. Eat smart, drink water, and those 3 lbs will be off in less than a week I promise.

As for your friends, are they "eating buddies" in the sense that everything you do together involves eating? It's really tricky trying to figure out non-eating activities to do with eating buddy type friends, but it is possible. If you guys do something where there is food available but it is not the "main course" so to speak, e.g. going to a fair or street festival or shopping, etc, that could be a good start. What about something active/outdoors, like an easy hike?

[Ferumbras]

What about when you guys do have a dinner party sort of thing, having some awesome board games around (the German variety, the good stuff, not Monopoly)? Having something fun to do with your hands can help you not think about the food that's around and the need to use a table surface for the game keeps bowls of chips and the like off to the side.

[costasandcroakies]

I know this is not the politically correct answer, but... the friends gotta go! I had a similar problem with a group of friends and drugs a couple of years ago, and I tried so hard to not get involved with that stuff while I was around them but the temptation and lure was just too much! I eventually stopped hanging around them and are much better because of it.

If you start to hang our the jogging trails, gym, and organic food joints. Soon - you will replace your friends. Peers have a huge impact on us!

[indiblue]

Originally Posted by costasandcroakies

I know this is not the politically correct answer, but... the friends gotta go! I had a similar problem with a group of friends and drugs a couple of years ago, and I tried so hard to not get involved with that stuff while I was around them but the temptation and lure was just too much! I eventually stopped hanging around them and are much better because of it.

If you start to hang our the jogging trails, gym, and organic food joints. Soon - you will replace your friends. Peers have a huge impact on us!

Seems a bit extreme to cut people out of one's life who've been there for years or decades just because one is making different food choices. If the friends are not supportive, sabotaging, or a bad influence, then yes, that makes sense. But the vast majority of friends will be very supportive of weight loss efforts. The OP's friends sound great and will likely be a positive influence in her life if she explain to them about her current weight loss goals.

Drug users are a whole different mess of problems than close friends who love junk food. I wouldn't conflate the two.

Anyone who is changing their way of eating needs to know how to stay on target in the face of temptation. Friends can be wonderful by accommodating a dieter, but they shouldn't be required completely change their lives for them. The onus is ultimately on us to stick to our plan.

[Lovely]

It was one night. You already realize what happened. Jump right back on your normal plan and it will be a thing of the past in no time at all.

You don't have to stop hanging out with your friends, but you do have to change what hanging out with your friends means. If you know you're going to hang out with them at some event that requires food: plan. Bring a few dishes that you know you can have healthy portions of. Go to a restaurant where you have a meal in mind that will be better for you. Ask them if they want to do something a little more active...they don't have to go to the gym with you or anything like that, but... what about bowling? Or a stroll along some wooded area with a picnic packed? Even if you're going to just hang out and watch tv with them, have something in mind of what you're allowing yourself to do for the night in terms of food and drink.

You said it yourself, there were at least three things against you there. Pick yourself up. Take a good look at what you can do NEXT time you're in a similar situation and then keep going forward =)

You can do this!

[jenfett]

Just keep going don't beat yourself up because like the others have said it was one night and did not undo all of the hard work you have put it just get back on plan and keep going. If you do though insist on beating yourself up use that anger durring a hard workout like kickboxing or something like that. I found that when I turn it around and put it in my workout it in a way gives me closure and you kill two birds with one stone, you feel better and got a great workout. Keep your chin up and keep on going

[mandy1974]

I think we've all had those days. the problem i have is that if i have a bad day then i'm like "ah the **** with it" and just continue to eat myself silly.