My best friend is coming in from out of town tomorrow, and she'll be here for 6 days. Eating awful treats together was one of our rituals when she lived here, and I just know I'm about to have 6 straight days of a constant food-fest. I dont know how I'll manage to control myself, eat moderate portions of the awful food, and I'm pretty worried!
I just sabotaged a perfectly great day (and weeks) and am now starting back on day one. How stupid of me! First for buying the granola bars and then for eating not one but the entire box of 6! OMG!
I just sabotaged a perfectly great day (and weeks) and am now starting back on day one. How stupid of me! First for buying the granola bars and then for eating not one but the entire box of 6! OMG!
Granola bars are my trigger foods too. I just don't buy them anymore. If I do, I only get one bar sold at the cafeteria. At least we know we're not ready for those types of foods yet. I wonder how someone gets "cured" from binge foods like this. Granola isn't a typical binge food (like cake/cookies/chips/burgers/fries).
I don't know if there is a "cure" but I do know that it is futile to keep buying trigger foods in >1 serving sizes over and over again, each time hoping you are "ready."
I can't even tell you how many jars of peanut butter have disappeared into the abyss this way
Another stressful day yesterday but I made it through, so Day 9 was successful.
I've restarted posting to my blog so that I can get out those feelings and put in writing those sabotaging voices so that hopefully I can see them for what they are and stop them turning into a binge.
It's coming up to TOM and I'm really hungry at the moment and this weekend will be a telling time because I've often got to about 10/11 days of no binging, then blown it the 2nd weekend because it's just seemed inevitable. However I've been having a little more to eat each day recently, even weekdays, and because I haven't binged the weight is actually pretty stable. It's hard letting myself have that extra snack midweek, I feel like I shouldn't, but I'm hoping it may make the weekends easier if I'm not restricting as much during the week.
And what's different this week is that I'm getting things clear in my head before eating, eg I know that I want to binge, that nothing I eat is going to satisfy me right now unless it's a huge quantify of lots of my binge foods. So I've agreed with myself I can have that snack, but I know beforehand I'll want more, I just have be prepared to say STOP after it and actually follow through, instead of giving in to the cravings to keep going. So far it's working because I'm aware of what's going on inside my head and rather than fooling myself that a small amount of this, then a small amount of that and so on will satisfy me, I know it won't, I know only a binge will, and I'm not letting that happen.
Onto Day 10.
Mamato2boys---That's an interesting technique...I am a visual person I should keep that in mind next time I feel the urge to binge....Maybe if I see what I would have eaten written on paper that would work as a deterant..
Yeah! I think I am a visual person too, that must be why it worked for me. Hope it can work for you too!!
I don't know if there is a "cure" but I do know that it is futile to keep buying trigger foods in >1 serving sizes over and over again, each time hoping you are "ready."
I can't even tell you how many jars of peanut butter have disappeared into the abyss this way
I agree!! I don't think we will ever be 'cured'....just like an alcoholic, we have to take it a day at a time. Since food is essential for living, we HAVE to eat, but it will be a struggle each day probably, to make the decision not to binge. Maybe it just gets easier as time goes by? Hoping so!!
Yeah this cure thing kinda throws me. I heard someone describing their addition to cigarettes yesterday and it sounded exactly like how I feel about trigger foods. I've never really been a believer in food addiction, weird thing for a binger to say, but I've always kinda felt lime it was an excuse to justify it, even though deep down I know that's probably not true. So the question begs to be asked...if we just said absolutely no to our trigger foods the way and alcoholic would to alcohol, would we be cured??? Hard to say, but a life with no peanut butter, ice cream or dark chocolate almonds sounds pretty sad to me right now
So day 4 for me right now. I'm feeling good because it's Wednesday and not Friday or Saturday. Although I'm pretty hungry because I ran 6 miles this morning, but I planned a healthy 2000 cal day so I should be good. I managed to easily stay under 1650 Monday and Tuesday which is crazy low for me, so I'm hopeful that will help shed the extra lbs I've put on over the last few weeks. I'm thinking I may step on the scale tomorrow, but I think it might be a bad idea. I mat wait til I've had a good week or two back on my low/high groove and after my pants are feeling a little looser.
I have been dealing with some pretty severe stuff in my offline life and I am happy to say that I haven't binged. I acknowledge what a huge accomplishment that is for me. I have thought about it and sat with those feelings and processed them into something healthier. My offline craziness is far from over right now, but it feels good to be walking along this road and to STILL be able to have control over my emotions AND the food.
Vixsin-what does working it mean for you? I'm loving the feedback from those of you with some serious days under your belt. I obviously haven't found what works for me yet, I have a suspicion of what might, but it's all trial and error now.
I want to feel like one day it's just going to be easy, but until I'm comfortable with those feelings and allowing myself to feel them I'm not sure it won't always be a struggle I'm dealing with. I really need a hobby...my family life keep me pretty busy and when I'm busy food seems to fade away. But when DH is working graveyard and DS is napping...oh the pain. Similarly at work...I love my job, but do get bored and generally there's nothing here to binge on and I'm safe, but I sit here and fantasize about my next binge or meal and it's annoying and causes anxiety because of the obsession. Once I get home as long as it's a weekday and DH is home and I'm not PMSing I'm safe. Friday nights and Saturday's are when I'm doing my damage.
So anyway, long way around asking what's working for others.
vixsin sorry to hear about your tough time. i think you're more strong than you think, most of us would probably give in already. just be positive and keep that control that you have.
oh and we have the same weight now, maybe we will finish it together? or probably you'll beat me
this is my day 18, i just had a really high calorie dinner that mom made-i have no idea how many cal were there but it was greasy and it's probably gonna result in some water retention but i don't care. i haven't eaten this meal for almost a year but now i said to myself it's time. so yay for no food deprivation.
Last edited by missunshine; 05-18-2011 at 01:50 PM.
Beila- I agree with your outlook about people that eat a little bit of food and say have binged, they just ate a little off plan that's all.
ncuneo- I completely know what your saying about Binging vs overeating. For me when I started binging about 1.5 yrs ago, it was out of control eating( 4000-5000), it made me so happy, ate til my stomach looked liked i had a basketball shoved under my shirt, it hurt so bad but I kept eating til I was sick. I did this once a week until I realized that I couldn't take my daughter to school in the morning after a day of binging, that's how sick I was. One morning i passed out on the bathroom floor, hubby found me. That taught me a lesson, so now I pay attention to how full I'm really feeling. I won't eat til it hurts anymore! It's more of a massive overeating problem that gives me the same pleasure as binging.
Krampus- I agree it is all about sanity! And you sound like me with the peanut butter!
As ncuneo said- I can't imagine living without ever eating peanut butter or ice cream or any kind of my favorites. To say I will never be able to eat any of it for the rest of my life makes me feel like I have nothing to look forward to, I think it's the only real pleasure or happiness I have. It's terrible I feel this way, food shouldn't be this important to me.
Day 1- after yesterday, it makes me sick to look at junk, I'm 11lbs heavier now than I was last summer. In a couple days I know I will want it again, that's when I am going to try to have some in moderation, then I won't be depriving myself. My husband is a bad influence on me with the way he eats, I wish he could stop eating so much of the same stuff I crave, then it wouldn't be here!
and it's probably gonna result in some water retention but i don't care. i haven't eaten this meal for almost a year but now i said to myself it's time. so yay for no food deprivation.
