I've recently started counselling for an eating disorder, and it is making me think over what the real problems are in my life, and where did they come from. I started to think about something which happened to me, I've always remembered it, exactly how it was said, what room it was in, the way everything looked at the time even what I was wearing.
I remember when I was a bit younger, about 14 or so. I was out after school with my best friend and she bought a chocolate bar as usual, since I was already conscious of my weight I decided I would get a cereal bar instead. My young minds idea of the healthier alternative, and in fairness it was much lower calorie.
Later on I went round to my Nans and I still had the wrapper in my pocket. So I went to put it in her bin, she very quickly snapped that that was why I was fat, I was always eating this junk.
That for me is when I unconsciously started eating on my own and binging in secret. I've lived feeling terrified people would call me on what I was eating, or think "she shouldn't be eating that" Even if it was a piece of fruit.
This wasn't exactly what started my bizarre relationship with food, that seems to stem from a very dysfunctional home life and family situations. But it is absolutely what made me feel secrecy was necessary regarding my eating.
I was interested in what other peoples 'trigger moments' were. I know not everyone on this board will relate to the emotional ties to food, but I'm sure theres many of us who can. It is nice to know you aren't alone.