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goals getting farther and farther away the more i sabotage myself :(

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Old 02-24-2011, 12:14 PM   #1
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Unhappy goals getting farther and farther away the more i sabotage myself :(

i'm really depressed about the past couple days

i guess it wasn't necessarily a binge, but it was a long string of bad eating

it started with what seemed to be a harmless subway sandwich ..that made my stomach upset..which was actually neat to me, because it must mean that other times my eating is pretty healthy..if just a couple slices of cheese are going to make me queasy

later that night i got pulled out to dinner at a mexican restaurant..got two soft fajita tacos, refried beans and a diet coke..there was an appetizer of some kinda cheese with chorizo that i ate a little bit of..didn't eat any of the rice on my plate

ok...so..that day didn't seem too awful..i could have definitely lived with that and not even really felt all that bad about it

next day (yesterday) ..chinese take-out for breakfast/lunch (fried rice, crunchy beef with a few veggies, and battered shrimp :P ) ..and a diet coke

for dinner....whataburger :/


i'm also starting to lose motivation to workout..i don't really understand why, i started out loving every bit of it, even if it was hard at times.......

i just feel like i am defeated and am lost in my own pity party thinking ..how will i ever be able to do this ? ...i've done it before..but how will i do it this time ?

the days this normally happens are the days my husband is home from work..not blaming him at all (though he doesn't help, heheh) ..but on those days i am sooo lazy and don't feel like cooking anything..i just want to spend the day relaxing with him.......we both also tend to eat worse when it's getting close to when we need to grocery shop..even if we still have stuff we could make...i don't get that....we jest, and call each other fat enablers :/ ..it's not really funny anymore though

i need more willpower..i need to be able to better say no to myself..and to listen to myself when i say no......definitely feels like a war going on inside of me....why aren't i tough enough ! why does it seem like my mind is made up and it wants me to be fat ?


all of my goals, weight loss related or not..seem so distant and more difficult than they should be

i have lost weight since starting, but not as much as i would like to be..at least 2lbs a week would be nice..maybe a pound more sometimes....but it has been more like 1lb a week...and i KNOW i could change this by tweaking these few eating problems....i don't like the idea of increasing my exercise to something more high impact..i just want to keep to my bar method and yoga..for now at least

i feel like crying over this..but i know i just have to keep going.....but..how can i ever achieve anything with my diminishing self-discipline..

edit: not to mention, the day i got subway was also the day i weighed-in and had lost 2lbs..and the day before that i had taken measurements for the second time and lost a good amount of inches.....why is it when i have made a mini succuss, i go and do things that can ruin it ??????

Last edited by blueballerina : 02-24-2011 at 12:20 PM.
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Old 02-24-2011, 01:14 PM   #2
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The thing about weight loss is it's not easy- and you have to be dedicated and committed. If you feel you are lazy the days that he is home then maybe pre-prepare some stuff that you can easily put together those tdays, have veggies cut up and ready, meat pre-cooked, etc.

Encourage each other to DO things on those days off. Like hubby and myself almost ALWAYS go out for a walk on our days off, and that walk is 1-2 hours, and it's a wonderful way to spend time together and talk and reconnect after a stressful week. In fact the last weekend was so gloomy and rainy this weekend I'm bummed cuz I heard it's going to be raining again!

We also used to eat out each day of the weekend, now we only eat out one day BUT we pick restaurants where I can get something good to eat. Last weekend we went to Islands and I had a turkey burger from their "skinny" menu along with a small side salad and drank water. I was pleasantly surprised at how DELICIOUS the turkey burger was and I even took off the top half of the bun to cut out even more carbs and calories

Brush it off and get back on plan. Remember how you are feeling right now so when his next day off rolls around you will continue on plan. Come back and read this post you made if you have too! Anything to make you keep you on plan.

Also talk to your hubby- let him know how upset you are right now and ask him to please push with you. And if he starts to waver remind him of what you discussed.
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Old 02-24-2011, 01:40 PM   #3
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Lightbulb I am going through the same thing

Blueballerina Whenever life sucks, which is pretty much most of the time these days for me, I know that it is a strong temptation to either comfort myself with the wrong kinds of food or to "reward" myself for making progress towards anything I have recently acheived.

Awareness, which you have now, is the first step. The next step, resistance, is a little harder and that is stopping before you make those choices.Each time that you are able to say "No" and choose differently, you will strengthen that "inner muscle" in your ability to resist making choices that do not support a healthier you.

It sounds like you might have an allergy to cheese which is why you felt ill. Cheese, the right ones, are not an unhealthy choice. They are an excellent source of calcium provided you pick the correct ones.

I understand how the person you live with can "influence" you. However, that can also be an easy "excuse" to blame the other person when we ultimately have the choice to make good or bad choices regarding our health, above and beyond what another person says or does. It has been me more often than not that has suggested going out to eat when I was just too lazy to go into the kitchen and make something or eat something that was kind of "boring". Eating out provides a stimulus in my life that I don't get elsewhere.

My husband hasn't learned to reward himself with food. He also eats better than I do, shows greater self-control and is about 20 lbs from his goal weight.He didn't make me fat. I was fat when I met him so I am not going to hang that "guilt" on him. It is my responsibility to be whatever I want and need to be. You owe it to yourself to take "ownership" of your primary involvement in all of this. You are not as helpless as you may think or feel you are.

Don't dwell on what you didn't do. Instead dwell on what you did that was right. There is a good support group here, Beck Diet Solution, that will help you with these issues. If you want to join us, you are more than welcome.

You can do this!

Last edited by pamatga : 02-24-2011 at 01:46 PM.
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Old 02-24-2011, 02:07 PM   #4
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YIKES!

thanks for the support

but..one things is..i absolutely do not hang the guilt on my husband ! i also was fat when i met him !..though i did lose a 100lbs while with him..and gained it back while with him ! lol ...and like i said in my initial post, i am not blaming him at all....i was just stating that those are the days it is hardest for me to take control..it isn't his fault that i am going along with what he is doing...but i can't honestly say that him sitting around or wanting fast food etc helps me...because of course it doesn't help me......i think that's a pretty reasonable way to think of it.......maybe in the future i can say he is helping me by giving me the chance to exercise my willpower..but i just haven't gotten to that point yet

i also do not think i am helpless....at all ! ....i really just wanted advice on what i can do to help myself increase my will power and self discipline and to not let myself become so easily influenced by outside sources...to take control of my life....and also to be reminded to not hang on to my mistakes..to continuing moving forward

sorry if any of that sounded harsh or anything....i just had to clear that up, because i did not mean to make anyone think that i don't take responsibility for my actions....but i am human, and other humans naturally have an effect on other people..i noticed a pattern that i need to correct..not an excuse to use when i don't want to abide by my rules..

i like the advice of the more you say no to a bad choice, the easier it will get.....same goes with everything..i need to remind myself of exactly this whenever i am faced with a choice..and know that it will at first be hard to say no.....but it's not like it is the last chance i will ever have to eat fries or sit around and do nothing..heheh....and remember how much better it feels to do something good for myself.....

thanks for lifting me back up and setting my mind back on straight.....now i kind of can't wait til the next time my husband if off work so i can start practicing saying no to temptation

Last edited by blueballerina : 02-24-2011 at 02:11 PM.
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Old 02-24-2011, 08:37 PM   #5
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blueballerina, BIG HUG

I definitely understand what you mean about it being hard to eat well around your man. I suppose I have it easier because I see my boyfriend only 5-6 days a month, but when we are together we always enable each other, joke that we're enabling each other, and part ways feeling gross and guilty about overdoing it while together.

Also, about sabotaging yourself when you're doing well...I know that feeling all too well. Yesterday was the lowest weight I'd seen in quite some time, and instead of pushing through and completing the day on plan, I ate a whole jar of peanut butter (thank goodness they're smaller in Japan than in the US but still, a jar is a jar) and woke up almost 2 pounds heavier and feeling guilty.

Motivation and enthusiasm for workouts and on-plan eating wax and wane like the phases of the moon. I go wildly off-course a lot, but I consider even small strings of success (recently, going 10 days without binging and eating on plan 4 days in a row) to be small victories. It's the only way to stay sane.

*hugs*
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Old 02-25-2011, 10:36 AM   #6
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I'm not saying to blame it on hubby- BUT if you ask him to help you through the process by not suggesting things that are difficult for you to turn down. Ultimately you are responsible for your choices BUT it'd be nice to have some support from him as well
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Old 02-25-2011, 07:44 PM   #7
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Hi.

I don't know which specific eating plan/diet you are using but one possibility would be to change to a different one in order to speed up the weight loss....which would in turn, make you more motivated and increase your will-power. Certain plans work great for me, and others work horrible, in terms of getting the loss to happen at a nice steady pace.

Also....I walked every day, listening to my ipod (and still do).....and the whole reason I do this is that it's something I'd do anyway and enjoy just doing. I did the whole gym thing.....several times. And once I got there, and especially when I was finished working out, I felt fantastic. The BIG problem was the motivation to GET myself there.
And I figured it would not work for me in the long term.
Plus, I believe exercise is something you should do for you HEALTH....but the cornerstone of losing weight is what you eat/diet plan.

There is a whole section of multiple and varied plans here that you can review.

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Old 02-27-2011, 02:27 AM   #8
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thanks for all the support :]

i agree that exercise (and weight loss) should be done for health reasons.....and those are really my highest goals....because my level of fitness has to be at a certain level for the many things i want to be able to do again..that is a great motivator.....yea, new clothes and feeling more attractive is nice..but mastering your mind and body are the real rewards.........my workout routine now consists of ballet, bar method and kundalini yoga.....eventually i will add walking as well

my specific eating plan isn't so specific...but i eat mostly whole foods, from pretty much every food group, with less dairy and meat than everything else..but still included

for me to succeed i cannot count calories....when i do that i get obsessive and start exercising excessively..the same goes for any other rigid, restrictive eating style..it inevitably backfires on me, no matter how successful others are on the same plan.....much like an anorexic i suppose..so i have had to back off on that and do it differently just by getting in touch with myself and responding to my body's signals to eat/stop eating ..of course this doesn't always work..heheh.......but when it does, i am very grateful..because then i can get healthy/lose weight AND keep my sanity


thanks again for the responses.....it's nice to have a place you can unload and be reminded of where my mind should be focusing
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Old 03-02-2011, 07:56 PM   #9
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I feel like I could have written that myself! I do well with my health goals mostly, then boom, I lose it.
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