I read all of your posts diligently every day for advice, inspiration, motivation, etc. but I just haven't been able to make it past day 10. I think, "I'm not overweight, so I can have XYZ..." and that's how it starts. Of course, then the pounds come back on because this is not a healthy way to eat. I also realize this isn't an eating habit per se but an emotional reaction to something and I'm trying to figure out what it is because it's not as simple as determining a single feeling -- boredom, anger, sadness, what have you.
Ugh, I feel so disgusting and am so disappointed in myself. I feel like the 3/4 lbs I have regained (albeit temporarily, most likely) seem to be red, flashing arrows pointing to my tummy and inviting everyone to stare and notice that I am pudgier.
The good news is...I have been very consistent in my workouts.
It happened to me to...exactly the same. i gained back almost half of what i lost in only 3 months, and i didn't maintain even for two months, but a lot happened and now i'm slowly adapting to my new life but the daily stress and worries are still present.
because of my big, flashing belly and big thighs i didn't want to go back to school and to an elementary school reunion with some people that i havent seen for years. i also didn't want anyone to see me, my friends, family...but they have and they all had comments. and i can see the look on their face, cause they know how hard i've been working. and it's strange to them how could i gain back if i hardly ever ate around them. well obviously they don't know i've been binging and hiding enormous amount of food in my room. so now i must face with the consequences. i gave myself some time off to think about everything, and just stop obsessing about food. so far it's been going fine, i allow myself to eat everything, mom made some cookies today and i ate a looot of them and usually i would binge after one but i didn't. so it's a huge success for me. if keep going like this i will be very happy but i feel that one day i will just snap and go back.
today is day 4...yaay...tomorrow is gonna be very stresfull day but i can't wait dig in...because i know i can do this!!!
Day 34- I did eat alot, but I had to. I was in the hospital for stomach & back cramps. Blood work showed i have low sodium which caused low blood pressure. So i had to come home and eat food with sodium in it. No binging though.
Feeling bingy! I just had two bagels with cream cheese and some yogurt with granola. Probably about 700 calories at once. But I don't feel stuffed, or really that overfull. I don't know if I should count this as a binge. It was at the very least the start of a binge, but I did stop myself. It's been a couple weeks since I've felt this out of control around food, so I think I had my guard down and didn't realize what I was doing until around the end.
Scheduled my feeding/snack times every 2-3hours so I would be less likely to binge (keep my blood sugar up). So ate at:
10a breakfast
12p am snack (chocolate/nut protein bar)
2p lunch
4p pm snack (healthful - yogurt, string cheese, or fruit)
7p dinner
9p small dessert (something with chocolate in it)
Scheduled in a small piece of chocolate cake with cup of milk at the end of the night tonight. Counting calories and scheduling my meal plan each morning upon wakening, to help. Decided not to have dessert snacks in the day, because I always crave them again in the evening, which is my weakest time. Won't deprive myself of dessert at night.
I think this will work for me. I felt great yesterday and today. Just have to make sure I stick to the proper meal times!
Three binge-free days done. I am well on my way, so that's good.
Eurydice: 50 days -- you are doing amazing! You can do it. Just take one day at a time. And great job on stopping yourself yesterday. That is not easy I know.
Fruitlady: I am so sorry that you ended up in the hospital. I hope you are feeling better and that everything is ok now.
41 days. very stressful week with brother trying to get out of Libya. For some reason I have actually been off food. Very strange, never happened before. Usually first sign of stress and I am opening the fridge.
Eurydice : well done on 50 days and also managing to control your eating before it became out of hand. It shows you are stronger than you think.
Spingirl : You are well on your way again! Yay
I have made it to day 5. Been Ok since I started a high protein plan and ate every three hours - feel full and so do not want to binge -- not today anyway
41 days. very stressful week with brother trying to get out of Libya. For some reason I have actually been off food. Very strange, never happened before. Usually first sign of stress and I am opening the fridge.
In exceptional stressful circumstances, I go off food - but normal stress - caused by everyday factors - most of which I can actually anticipate then I head straight for the fridge
Ah, dammit. Back to Day 1 tomorrow. I bought all natural peanut butter yesterday and now there is probably 1.5 servings out of almost 8 in the jar left. I did the math, totaled about 3000 calories today which is double the target amount.
It was definitely emotionally fueled. I got home and went out to run, and it was one of those frustrating off days where you go for ten minutes and feel like you're going to pass out and your muscles just don't cooperate. Considering I've run for over an hour without walking at all, I got really frustrated, especially since I ate more than usual at work to prepare for my run. Then after about 30 minutes of stop-and-go I said "eff this" and went home to clean. Broke my vacuum cleaner and there's no time to replace it before I have company over during the weekend. Said "eff this" again and went to have a sliced apple with peanut butter for dinner. Turned into 2 apples with peanut butter, then a banana with peanut butter, then peanut butter and jam with a spoon, and a small chocolate heart with peanuts in it.
Day 17 - I like how big that number looks alarm went off this AM and I was dead asleep - slowly waking up - Had a big, action packed day yesterday - Focusing on LIFE - seeing life, feeling life, experiencing life, have a mantra I am trying to repeat every time I find myself obsessively counting calories or getting excited about weighing in tomorrow "Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, or your body, what you will wear, for is not life more than food and your body more than clothes?" <-- of course I borrowed that from Luke but especially the "is not life more than food?" Because life is SO MUCH MORE than food - and when I say that in my head it forces me to stop and hear the birds and feel myself breathing and see people around me.
Off soap box, onto day - Hope everyone has a binge free day today!
Jalsa - "not today anyways" - that's all we can be concerned with so great job!
Tamara - Super prayers for your brother, I always wanted to be the type of person who stopped eating instead of started devouring at the first sign of stress.
Spingirl-Great job! 3 days
Kifli - Smart plan including dessert so that you're not depriving yourself, I'm with you that eating sugar during the day makes me crave it at night
Eurydice - that's totally your call, but I wouldn't call that a binge, just a bit of over-eating.
Sky girl - Day 2! Awesome, 1 day at a time
MissSunshine - I know gaining back is frustrating but we just got to get back on the wagon, I have been losing SO SLOWLY and I just want to hop on the first fad diet and woosh my weight off but I know that'll trigger my food obsession even more.
FruitLady - Hope you are feeling better - I'm sorry you went to the hospital.
yesterday was day 1. i was completely on plan despite chocolate eggs 'appearing' in the house for my boys treat. i didnt eat even one because i had kickboxing after dinner and didnt want to start down that road leading to me stopping at a store on the way to or home from kickboxing to binge. so i just said "yes i want one but no thank you" !
i am counting today as day 1 again. no, i didnt binge yesterday. yes i was on plan. yes i feel great about yesterday. i have decided to no longer count "days" but view each day as day 1. it seems i get complacent the higher my number gets so if it is always day 1, always focused... always with intent, i will make each day "count" !
feeling great already today. kicked stuff hard last night and am excited to teach spinning class today.
i hope everyone feels positive today and deals with emotions instead of eating them !!!
I CANNOT believe I've made it to the MORNING OF DAY 4!!! WOO-HOO!!
This is a big deal for me, which should be obvious to everyone! I'm in the Senior Citizen category now -- have binged and starved my entire adult life. Somehow managed to keep most of the weight off until my 50's -- then I started thinking "who cares?" During this process, I hope to correct my head/emotional problems while getting some fat off as well.
Last night was church night, so at least I was out of the house and away from the kitchen for most of the evening. (altho my DH picked himself up some tacos on the way home. Grr!) But tonight -- ah, tonite is "Ladies" Meeting" at church, where we (mostly) eat a lot while also (hopefully!) discussing something that will benefit us in our Christian walk. So my "plan" is to eat supper early -- arrive to the meeting as late as possible -- get a glass of water and keep it filled thruout the evening.
Ya'll keep your fingers crossed for me -- because I hope to be posting tomorrow morning that I made it thru Day 4!
alarm went off this AM and I was dead asleep - slowly waking up - Had a big, action packed day yesterday - Focusing on LIFE - seeing life, feeling life, experiencing life, have a mantra I am trying to repeat every time I find myself obsessively counting calories or getting excited about weighing in tomorrow "Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, or your body, what you will wear, for is not life more than food and your body more than clothes?" <-- of course I borrowed that from Luke but especially the "is not life more than food?" Because life is SO MUCH MORE than food - and when I say that in my head it forces me to stop and hear the birds and feel myself breathing and see people around me.
