nomakesense- I eat all flavors, mine are 90 calories & fat free. There is a caramel yogurt made by Dannon, 80 calories & fat free. You should try it, I love it!
Day 10- no urge today to binge, no junk food in the house. If it's not here, then I don't even think about binging.
Day 1. Today's my birthday () and so far, so good.
Sorry for the long post, but I had a bit of an epiphany earlier today. Though I've been saying for ages that I am addicted to food, that I use food emotionally, etc., I don't really treat my addiction to it like an actual addiction. I'm a lot easier on myself and my urges to binge than I suspect I would be if I was, say, trying to quit smoking, or whatever. When it gets hard to resist, I almost always just give in. This is not because I lack willpower, but because I forget that it's worth it to stop, forget how damaging it is to me and try to rationalize that I can make up for it later. I don't even bother trying to sit with the discomfort, most of the time.
I really think that if I treat this like the addiction that it is, rather than just a matter of weight and poor self-esteem, that I'll be a lot more successful in not binging. We'll see, though. I feel like binging on leftover pasta from dinner, but I'm not at all hungry--I'm just looking for a way to escape the chronic anxiety I've felt for the last few days about starting up classes again, etc.
Eurydice, I could've written every word you did, I feel exactly the same way.
And happy birthday!
Last night I dreamed that I've lost control and binged. I felt gross. But I know this is dangerous ground for me, it's day 5 and I usually could only sustaine from binging for 3 or 4 days.... Prepared a super tasty raspberry cacao oatmeal to remind myself I can eat delicious but still healthy and low-cal meals
I know I'm boring posting twice per day, but I really need to keep myself accountable
Day 1 done. I ate a little bit more than I should, but I didn’t binge. I think the stress of classes starting Monday is getting to me, so I binge to somehow take my mind off worrying about it.
Anyways, I’m feeling hopeful that I can stay 30 days binge free, if not longer.
Day 8. Still craving sugar. Last night was weird because I was full - almost overfull - but I still really wanted something sweet. Didn't succumb to temptation and the urge seems to have passed.
Don't every worry about overposting Eurydice - sometimes it helps to express our thoughts and feelings about food. Far better to think and write about it then to give into the urge to eat.
Day 5. I put a pack of gum on top of my fridge as a consolation prize/reminder for those moments when I catch myself poking around the kitchen out of boredom or habit--that came in handy today.
Thanks, NoMakeSense. You're right, long posts are a small price to pay for mental clarity. Speaking of which...
Today has been great in terms of motivation! I'd say this is the first binge-free day I've had since starting up these challenges in which I have actually felt the need to binge and said 'no' to it. That realization I had yesterday has really driven into me that I'm not just trying to lose weight--I'm trying to kick an addiction. Much more useful attitude, I'm finding...
Additionally, I'm trying to focus on the things I'm doing right, rather than what I'm doing wrong. I've been upset at myself for gaining 20 lbs in 2010, thinking I totally failed myself. But then I realized that, though my attempts to lose weight fell through, I learned how to say 'no' to food. Now I can actually leave a plate of food unfinished if I find I'm full halfway through a meal (discounting binges, of course--whole other problem). Hoping I can keep this positivity up, even when I hit a wall of depression, which I inevitably will at some point (three cheers for bipolar disorder).