[usam]

I feel like such a hypocrite sometimes. My father who is 60 had a triple by-pass about ten years ago. He went to the doc yesterday and he was told to stop smoking because his arteries will close again. Obviously my family is terrified for him, he eats really healthy and is not overweight at all but smokes. I feel like he has no willpower or desire to live otherwise he would stop. Right? I spent the day yesterday thinking about the whole smoking thing and then it hit me. Who am I to judge? I have the same issues with food. Once I start to binge I can’t think of anything else but food, I do so much damage to my body too. Is it not the same? I mean I sat there so angry at him for not thinking about us and just never picking up a stupid cig again especially since he knows the consequences. But I am such a hypocrite because I am no better. Whether its food or alcohol or cigarettes, an addiction is an addiction and we all suffer deep inside. I feel terrible because I know that deep down he is suffering just like I am. So why was I so angry?

[cherylmn]

I have had the same thoughts myself. Several family members suffer from nicotine addiction (or alcohol) and we've watched so many die from lung cancer. I get furious over their unwillingness to change - and then realize that I, too, suffer a similar addiction.

The one challenge we have is that we cannot walk away from food & simply not eat. Cigarettes & alcohol (or drugs) are optional. I've never been addicted to any of these substances, so I can only relate to my food issues. SO HARD!

BUT - I am actively taking steps to correct my actions, I have regained much of my health by losing weight & exercising, I try not to put myself in situations that I know will cause temptation, etc. So, I guess I'm saying that I feel at least I'm trying & my family members are not. So in fact, they chose their precious cigarettes over me & my family, and they are being a poor role model for my young children.

I cannot pretend that I understand the addiction that they face - it is different for each person. I can say though that I would love to help them quit and chose life over the substance.

And then I realize that it is all I can do to stop my own distructive cycles, so the best thing to do is just to love them & let them know I am here for them.

[pamarama]

Don't beat yourself up about it. It's very easy to sit back and pick apart other people's flaws and shortcomings, but it's very hard to swing the judgment pendulum toward ourselves. At least you have the sense to realize you and your father aren't so different. Cut your dad a break, it's hard to face an addiction (we all know that ) and cut yourself a break, you're only human.

[elisaannh]

You were angry because you feel cigs are easy to give up (until you realized the truth about addiction and could compare it to our own). Also, the idea that food can damage our bodies seem less powerful than tobacco or drugs and alcohol.

You came to a truth in your analysis and it is frightening. I never really gave it much thought about HOW the foods I ate or the amounts would damage my own body. I always wanted to believe that when I lost the weight, my body would be automatically healthy. That may have been true when I was younger, but now I am dealing with medical issues directly related to my obesity. Even a significant weight loss has not changed my medical condition. I did this to myself, never once imagining that it stemmed from my eating.

Perhaps now is a good time to open the dialogue of addictions since you share a common bond. Talk about the difficulties in giving up something that is very hard to give up. You may both learn something and be able to share the recovery process.

[elisaannh]

Originally Posted by cherylmn

The one challenge we have is that we cannot walk away from food & simply not eat. Cigarettes & alcohol (or drugs) are optional. I've never been addicted to any of these substances, so I can only relate to my food issues. SO HARD!

I have used this concept myself, until it was pointed out to me that there is a huge difference in real and natural foods and the addictive qualities of junk foods. So, in reality we can quit the addictive foods cold turkey and concentrate on real foods. I believe OA has a program that treats the junk food as the addictive substances.

[cherylmn]

Originally Posted by elisaannh

I have used this concept myself, until it was pointed out to me that there is a huge difference in real and natural foods and the addictive qualities of junk foods. So, in reality we can quit the addictive foods cold turkey and concentrate on real foods. I believe OA has a program that treats the junk food as the addictive substances.

Excellent point. And I absolutely AM a junk food addict.