A binge, for me is an all out attempt to totally anesthetize myself with food. If I am angry or hurt or just bored, it can trigger a binge. I don't have trigger foods. Emotions are my trigger.
When I binge, I am not fussy about the food I am eating. It can be anything and everything from tuna salad and crackers (two cans of tuna, mayo, a sleeve or two of crackers) followed by soup or ramen or cake or pie or waffles with butter or potatoes or leftovers or... Whatever I can get my hands on and stuff into my mouth. I eat until I have totally numbed out, feel nothing and am exhausted, stuffed, sick and ready to pass out or throw up.
A few minutes later, I can be in the kitchen, ranging around, surfing my cabinets and fridge to add to the high, extend the numb out and stop feeling the emotions that are, by that time starting to flood back in. The anger, pain, self hatred and sick feeling that I am a worthless, selfish, no good piece of sh*t who doesn't deserve to live. Feeding some more makes that go away for a bit. When the high finally fades and the feelings return, I try to talk myself down and try to tell myself that I am alright, that I can pick up and go forward and that I am going to be okay. Once in a rare great while, I actually believe myself. Funny, huh?
So there you have it. The ugly truth from a binger.
Last edited by Rain Dancer; 08-09-2009 at 09:04 PM.
I kind of agree with the feeling an ice cream cone is NOT a binge.
a binge to me is the mindless stuffing of food in my face that totals somewhere of about 10,000 calories. almost certainly there are emotions at the surface of my mind and heart I choose not to deal with when I am in binge mode.
a binge for me would be 3 single serve pizzas, 4 cups of icecream, 5 glasses of milk with a pack of cookies, 4 candy bars, a cake, fruit, vegetables and anything within my path really that seems good at the time. being a former purger I tend to mostly binge on creamy, fatty foods--icecream, pudding, milk, whipped cream--because getting rid of bread products is alot harder than getting rid of milk products.
if you are a binge/purge ED type--you will consume a whole lot more calories than a regular binger usually. That does not mean that's not a binge. But 1 icecream cone? I can't see it. But I would never negate someone's feelings.
So i just finished reading tons of books on overeating, brain biochemistry etc etc. I highly highly recommend the book "Retrain Your Brain, Reshape Your Body" ---- it really explains what happens when people binge/overeat and teaches you how to overcome. The fact is that serious overeaters/bingers need larger amounts of food because the food reward center (dopamine) in their brain becomes slower/receptive and so it requires more food to get that same pleasure/rush etc. So different people have different thresholds they need to get to so they can be satisfied.
And for me a binge is anytime that you are eating food unconsciously, mindlessly and without control regardless of whether it was 1 ice cream cone or 10. It's that feeling of lack of control and the feeling of guilt that follows it.
That's my definition. But honestly, I feel that as we gain more and more control over our eating, small slip ups like an ice cream cone will seem to be like a binge. For me, in the past, I could eat tons of food in one sitting but now that I've become stronger and gained more control over my eating I feel small slip ups like eating mindlessly something like an ice cream cone feels to me like a binge. Because of course that ice cream cone can turn into 10 so for me it's all about framing it in such a way that even that small 'binge' is regarded as a binge and thus I have more incentive to keep that threshold and never go beyond it.
We all have our struggles - and in groups like overeaters anonymous a good number of the people that have overeating disorders can be thin people as well, so I don't think we should put any criticism towards others definitions of a binge.
I've never purged. I confess a tried a couple of times (in ten years!) but just couldn't do it. I don't know if I had not the "right technique" or if just my body didn't want to let the food go.
But I also confess I wished I could do that. If it had been easier, I would have done it again again.
Now I don't even try because after all these years I fear that, if I "learn" to purge, I would easily binge more. And I don't want to.
My last binge was Saturday night. Didnt have any of our food prepped, were getting into town from a day trip to parents...girls were starving so we stopped at McDonalds. I had their new 1/3lb Angus Mushroom n' Swiss Burger, fries and coke...followed by a piece of bday cake that was suppose to be split for my daughters! I was so full...sick full.
What's worse is how you wake up after eating horribly...I felt beyond bloated (words cannot describe) and my joints ached.
I will say the soda did no taste the same and I would be ok never drinking it again whereas, I used to have soda everyday, sometimes twice a day. I think the achy joints gave me the motivation to get right back on track yesterday and today.
Last edited by ThickAZChick; 08-10-2009 at 12:04 PM.
Eating a whole bagel instead of half to me, is just overeating. Not something I have ever had trouble with.
A binge to me is consuming a big quantity of food, with the purpose of just eating it to be of comfort, or to block out something/feelings that's on my mind. This is where I have issues!
I guess they both stem from control issues though.
There are a few things that feel like a binge to me.
1. I hide my eating from the people around me. If I'm eating in secret, late at night, I'm obviously doing something wrong.
2. If I know I'm not hungry, but I just have to have food RIGHT NOW. Often, for me, this is brought on my stress, boredom, or low energy. My tummy is full, but my brain is begging for the endorphin rush that food brings me.
3. If I physically feel sick, and I still want to eat more. I'll do this on my "cheat days" a lot. I tell myself I have 24 hours when I can eat whatever I want in moderation, but moderation goes right out the door. I feel like I have to stuff myself to the gills until the clock strikes midnight and I have to go back to good eating.
If I physically feel sick, and I still want to eat more. I'll do this on my "cheat days" a lot. I tell myself I have 24 hours when I can eat whatever I want in moderation, but moderation goes right out the door. I feel like I have to stuff myself to the gills until the clock strikes midnight and I have to go back to good eating.
This is exactly why I don't have cheat days. I'd do the same thing. Try having just a "cheat" meal. But plan it. Make it fit into your program so it really isn't a cheat. It just isn't that healthy
I think this is an excellent question! It's true that the definition of binge is different for every one of us.
For me, it's basically eating junk food all day. A typical day binge for me begins with a whole grain bagel with butter and swiss cheese, then maybe a muffin or donut later on. Then afternoon is a cheese sandwich or a bagel pizza. Evening is all snacking on junk food. I typically buy 1 big bag of chips, 1 bag of sweet-salty mix (like Chex mix), 1 box of cookies, 2 different bags of chocolate candy (like dark chocolate M & Ms and peanut butter cups), and 1 pint of ice cream. I should mention here that I do not polish off all of this - I just eat from them until I feel totally stuffed and then throw it all away at the end of the night in the dumpster.
Wow, I've never really written all that down before - it's like my binges were totally secretive until now.
i haven't quite figured out what causes mine, i have an idea but i know when i get that urge to eat. i'm not even hungry and i just keep going back to the kitchen for more food.
Someone on here gave me a great idea on how to control those urges. i love this place.
i'm not even hungry and i just keep going back to the kitchen for more food.
yeah, me too.
I'm agreeing with everyone who said that binge is subjective. I think it's up to the personal appetite concerning the amount but what matters is the feeling, the 'rush'...
I don't have much binge but when I do, it feels like...hunger. >_>; When I'm just finished eating!
"Binge" is the word I use for the robot-like, mindless eating that I know is going to cause me emotional pain, even while I'm doing it. It doesn't matter that it might be low-calorie (yeah, I once ate two heads of lettuce, leaf by leaf), to me it has to do with eating that's driven by something other than social or nutritional cues. I have never binged in the presence of another person, and not once have I ever NOT felt like less of a person once the event is over.
I like your definition of a binge. I too will binge on salad for fear that I'm going to eat much worse. However, too much of anything always makes me feel ill, even if it is low cal. I always eat too much when I'm not eating to satiate hunger.
For me, a binge usually starts with stress. I am either mentally or physically stressed by something or someone.
I binge on very particular foods, I can eat 3 bags of chips 10 funsize candy bars and 20oz of soda. That is usally what I binge on, very large quantities of food at once. It occurs without even thinking; it all happens very fast and I almost lose control and step out of my body.
I want to gain more control over the stress in my life and find a better way to deal. I understand what you mean though. Finding what triggers a binge and then what you can do to avoid those situations or find alternatives for binging is key. That's where I am right now.
I don't know what "real" means to you, but for me a binge is always planned ahead. I will plan the time, the place, the food, maybe even up to a week in advance. For me it usually involves fast food because I can order enough food to feed a family of 6 and take it with me to go without arousing suspicions. I will eat alone. I will eat until I feel physically sick but without vomitting. I will dispose of all evidence and make up a story about where I was or what I ate. I will be in a daze while I am eating, paranoid that someone will walk in on me, and afterwards I will hate myself for days. I will do this everyday until I hate myself every minute, and I'm feeling sick all the time, and I will be in a constant daze, and completely isolate myself until I no longer can feel.
It's not about what I eat, it's about why and how. I may not eat all the food I purchase for my binge, but I still want it there. Is that real enough?
[QUOTE=caliyah;2867285]
And for me a binge is anytime that you are eating food unconsciously, mindlessly and without control regardless of whether it was 1 ice cream cone or 10. It's that feeling of lack of control and the feeling of guilt that follows it.
That's my definition. But honestly, I feel that as we gain more and more control over our eating, small slip ups like an ice cream cone will seem to be like a binge. For me, in the past, I could eat tons of food in one sitting but now that I've become stronger and gained more control over my eating I feel small slip ups like eating mindlessly something like an ice cream cone feels to me like a binge. Because of course that ice cream cone can turn into 10 so for me it's all about framing it in such a way that even that small 'binge' is regarded as a binge and thus I have more incentive to keep that threshold and never go beyond it.
QUOTE]
I have to disagree, bingeing is not always mindless. In fact, for many of us who suffer from OED eat with full intention of bingeing. I planned all of my binges, down to the excuses and disposing of evidence.
