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My binge eating has to stop

View Poll Results: What is the most you have ever eaten on a binge?
I don't binge 0 0%
An extra packet of something naughty 0 0%
Chips, chocolate, fast food 1 10.00%
There is not enough space to write it all down 9 90.00%
Voters: 10. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 07-27-2002, 05:28 PM   #31
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Freedom&Light, why do we do that? I am trying so hard not to eat without asking myself it I am really hungry. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. I am trying to make better for choices though. We did have fast food for dinner the other day. DH and I got one of the veggie burgers from BK and had some left over baked beans that are relatively low fat. Next time I will remember to just get lettuce, tomato , onions, pickles and mustard and ketchup. They were VERY generous with the mayo and that really kills the point of the veggie burger in my opinion.

I feel better just being aware that eating doesn't have to be such a mindless thing. If I try to I may actually be able to make decisions on what I eat to fuel my body and what I need to do to "feed my heart".

You are doing so good. Congratulate yourself for all the progress you have made!
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Old 07-29-2002, 02:07 AM   #32
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Thank you, sweet Kare-ing one.

I had an "A-HA" moment! I was reading When Food is Love by Geneen Roth (I know, y'all are all surprised ), and she tells the story about this little 8 year old girl whose mother put her on a diet. The girl (we'll call her Sally)gained 14 pounds on this diet. Sally's mother was distraught and went to see a therapist. The therapist asks the mom what Sally's favorite food is. Mom answers "M&Ms." The therapist tells Sally's mom to go and buy enough M&Ms to fill up a pillowcase and give it to Sally. When Sally eats them all, mom is to fill them up.

Sally is shocked by the pillowcase and takes it everywhere with her. For eight days, Sally carried around the pillowcase, eating M&Ms. Sally's mom was totally ticked off, wondering how this was supposed to help her kiddo. She calls the therapist, livid.

The therapist tells her that when Sally believes- truly believes- that she can eat whatever she wanted and her mom wasn't going to take away her M&Ms, she would slowly "relax and begin eating from stomach hunger."

And she did. Sally ended up losing six pounds.

I love this story, because I've been doing this to myself! I've been telling myself that white bread is bad, peanut butter is bad, vanilla coke is bad, cereal is bad....all of these things that I really like. So, by these restrictions, I have been creating my own desire to binge.

I went shopping the other day. I bought all of the things I listed above. I'm still "carrying around my pillowcase," but I'm beginning to realize that I don't need that second bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch because I'm just not that hungry.



I love this book!

My recovery will involve allowing myself to eat what I want when I want. I will just step up the exercise (which I don't do at all now, so I don't really need to worry about binging on that ). I'm moving to a new apartment with a gym and a pool. So yay!

Thanks for reading this incredibly long post! LOL!
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Old 07-29-2002, 04:33 AM   #33
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Talking A big Yay to all of us!

How great are we? Putting it all together, slowly putting together all the pieces of the puzzle, even if some bits are half chewed by the cat and others have fluff on them from being wedged under the lounge. We are absolute legends.

I was watching a 'Doctor Phil' Oprah the other day. It's probably ancient to you guys as by the time we get the Christmas show it's the following July, but anyway.

He said something along the lines of how you shouldn't eat to make up for food you missed out on as a child. I was always told I had to lose weight when young. Looking back I was never that bad, probably under 15 pounds or so overweight, but my parents were the 'issue' King and Queen so my weight became major. My Father in particular was very cruel. He and my Mum would tell us when we said we were hungry after a big day out that we wern't, we were just greedy(at age 10, 7 and 2) . So one sister developed bulimia and a severe trust issue with men, another one ate to fill up the gaping sadness inside her and ended up being 100plus pounds overweight (yes, that would be me) and the last never thinks she is good enough and has more food and mean men than is good for her.

Heavy stuff, sorry. But my point now is yes, those things happen, but no, eating until I can't walk WILL NOT make up for the food I missed out on I can't stress enough that we have the power inside us to beat this. No-one else can do it for us and no-one else knows how we feel inside. I so agree with buying the food you want to make you feel you are allowed to eat. In the long run, not depriving ourselves (and that doen't mean eating until your pants split either! ) will help us all to understand what our body actually needs to function, not what it craves because it musn't be eaten.

We need to free ourselves from the bonds others made us, but that we now clutch to our (very ample) chests.

In my case, I will eat when and what I want to, and learn how to stop when I'm full and how to have just one not the whole packet.

At least, that is my goal!

Good luck to all of you and be well

Belle
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Old 07-30-2002, 12:58 AM   #34
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Thumbs up Donut Day

Alas the call of the donut became too strong and today, it got me bigtime. However unlike the last time, I am not going to write off the whole day, instead of kicking myself for the rest of the week, I will have a healthy dinner and tomorrow go to the gym and just get on with it.

Hubby leaves for overseas tomorrow and I want to do well the whole time he is away - I have set a weight loss goal and will focus and try hard to fulfil it while he is away.

Deep breath, and off we go!

Take care all

Belle
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Old 07-30-2002, 02:27 PM   #35
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Default Pantry Barn Dance

Oh, Belle, that pantry barn dance is hysterical! Next time I'm whirling around my kitchen scouting things out (pretending I'm just "just looking not going to try anything on or buy anything, thank you") I'll remember this and maybe it will make me laugh at my stupid misbehavior. The Binge Monster and I do a lot of "dancing" together!

Freedom and Light: I've been reading the same Geneen Roth book and I think it's great. I've read her books before but my head is in a place right now where I understood it differently or something. I'm still a little nervous about stocking my kitchen (Binge Monster's been too "hungry" lately).

And now the big news: Well, I've registered for one of Geneen Roth's workshops in September! I'm really excited. The title of it has something to do with "the search for true nourishment" -- as opposed to the searching I keep doing in boxes, wrappers and bags.

It'll be a weekend workshop at Lake Geneva, Wisconsin, at this fabulous looking resort. I'm taking a week's vacation and I'm hoping the DH will come with me as a 6-year-anniversary getaway. Has anyone ever been to one of her workshops?
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Old 07-31-2002, 12:59 PM   #36
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Just stopped in to say hello!

I've never talked to anyone but my husband about my binge eating problem because I've always felt so weak and ashamed. Also, I have a stubborn determination to hang on to secret binge eating for some reason. I've yet to understand why I do it, but I when I do I, too, "blank out" until it's over and I feel sick.

I'm going to read the Roth book and check out the fishy website. You are all so brave to face you monsters!
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Old 07-31-2002, 02:34 PM   #37
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Angry Brave new world

No one needs to be ashamed if they binge eat. Talking about it with other people is the first of many steps involved, and talking about it helps us understand why we do it and what role or hole it fills in our lives. I so glad you posted meandearny - it shows YOU are brave.

Shari, I haven't really heard of the books you mentioned but I am going to try to get some out here in Aussie land. I don't think there could be much better than going to a workshop of someone who's principals and ideas strike a chord for you - good on you and don't forget to tell us how great it was.

Well, off to face another day. The main man left for OS yesterday and there has been much wailing and wringing of hands (mostly me! ) It's about 3.30am my time and I have just put the baby back to bed for the 25th time and have managed to talk myself out of dancing in the kitchen (you know, the bad kind ) and I guess I might try to head back to bed. Thanks for letting me vent about stuff that really has nothing to do with binging, and everything to do with it!

Take care all

Belle
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Old 07-31-2002, 05:12 PM   #38
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Ok, I love the pantry barn dance (more of a jig since you have to do it by yourself).

My question is: Does anyone have any "tricks," suggestions, habits, things that break/delay/disturb a binge?

Lately, I've been writing down everything I eat - When I binge I've been writing down BINGE next to it. (Since my binging has been a nice secret for a long time, this had been a real challenge for me). It's certainly cut down on the amount of binging I've done (and the types of food I've done it on) but I was hoping someone might have some more tricks of the trade.
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Old 08-01-2002, 10:30 AM   #39
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Talking Disturbing Behaviour

I've found there are only two things that work for me to disturb the binge cycle.

1. Someone walks into the kitchen while you are attempting to scoff and you have to pretend you were really covering the remains up and putting them away. This is not really reliable as it is actually relying on dumb luck but as I would die of shame if my kids or husband saw me eat a whole packet of choc biscuits and then polish off the last of the lasagne it works.

2. Telling myself I can have it later. Sometimes, giving myself permission to eat something I really shouldn't have in 5 minutes time, or after I wash the dishes or after I take a shower is all I need for the urge to binge to pass.

I have also found that even one glass of wine after a hectic day when I'm tired and stressed is sometimes all that is needed to lower my defences and start the binging engines. , ready for takeoff!

Hope that helps..take care all and good luck for the days challenges ahead.

Belle

You gotta love that banana!
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Old 08-02-2002, 11:44 AM   #40
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Default Roth books

Meanerny: I think you can get Geneen Roth's books from her website (geneenroth.com, I think) or from Amazon.com if your local library does not have them.

Good idea about the binge journal. I will have to try that. Denial is such a big part of my struggle as in "If no one else sees me eat it, I didn't eat it/won't gain weight, etc." and as in "If I avoid the scale, I'm not gaining weight" . Writing it down beforehand will at least help me develop awareness and may help to get me out of the binge just because it's a distraction.

Distraction sometimes helps me avert binge-ing, whether that's by going to the other end of the house, doing housework, exercising, whatever, as long as it's away from the food. But I have to WANT to avert the binge, and to be honest, sometimes I don't WANT to badly enuf -- until it's ending and the guilt and self-loathing flare up. When I think about giving it up, I actually get a little scared. I feel like I'll be adrift in a stormy sea without a life vest and I cling to this destructive behavior like it's going to save me somehow. Roth talks about that in her book and says we have to realize we began using binge-ing to cope instead of going crazy. And we can't just give it up; we have to have something to replace it and fulfill those same needs.
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Old 08-03-2002, 02:33 AM   #41
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Unhappy Ditto...

What else can we do instead though? Isn't that our biggest problem? I SOOOO identify with the fear that surfaces when I think about living without EVER binging again. I can see myself not doing it for a week, a month or maybe even a couple but forever?

I just want to stop obsessing about food and upcoming food situations. I'm heading out in a week or so for dinner with friends and already I'm trying to decide what to have, so I don't blow my points for the day. I'm also going up to my friends house tonight and I have no idea what will be on for dinner and again I've started obsessing about how much I will or wont have and how to stop myself eating too much at her house. Just as much fear though because while I'm there I wont be able to binge if the stress hits me - aaaahhhh!

Step by step, day by day, thats all I can do.

That, and as I've said before not beat myself up about it.


Take care all

Belle
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Old 08-03-2002, 08:57 PM   #42
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Hello everyone, I am back from vacation and I am very glad to see how many of you are posting.

Freedom&Light- I couldn't believe you wrote about m+m's because that is my vacation downfall. For some reason everytime I travel, I eat m+m's. I HAVE to HAVE them in the car, in the condo, everywhere. I ate almost 3lbs. in 7 days. I am sure I will finish what is left off before the night is through also. I eat them in the morning, I like to get up before everyone, go on the balcony with a good book and eat m+m's listening to the ocean. It is like my stress reflief for the day. Then I take handfulls all day long. The kids do eat some, but not many. If I had a pillowcase of them, I am sure I would eat pillowcase after pillowcase! It is really insane! I know they say if you allow yourself to have the food you will eventually not crave it and relax about it, but do not think that would work with myself and chocolate. I think I would just turn into one big, I don't know what but it would be bigger than I already am.

I'm sorry to go off like this, but I am almost glad to go back to work, not for the work part but for routine. I will not eat all day, I will make better food choices and I will be more concious of what I am doing.

I have to go now but I hope to respond to everyone soon, I hope everyone is doing well today and Take Care, thanks for listening.
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Old 08-04-2002, 05:05 PM   #43
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Hi, how is everyone doing today. I am washing clothes and trying to get everyone ready for a routine again tomarrow. We have vacation hangover today. I hope I can get my eating back in control. I broke down and weighed myself this morning. I gained 5 lbs, I almost cried, but I will get control again.

Belle- I hope things are going well with your husband away. It must be stressful for you with young children. You sound like you are doing ok though, you didn't go to the kitchen during the night and should be proud of that. Don't stress about eating out with friends, you are allowed to eat. I know how frustrating it is though, not to know how much fat is in a dish, and the staff doesn't know. If there is something I really want, I may eat half at the restaurant and take the other half home for another meal, then I don't feel so bad.

ShihtzuX2- I understand how you feel about destructive behavior. I guess I cling to it too, however unconcious it is, I seem to do it also. I don't know what I am scared of, I guess it is just so familiar it is a comfort in a way.

Goddess Jessica- I try to put off a binge for as long as I can. Alot of times it will pass if I become involved in something else, or I get around other people. Like Belle I hate for my kids to see me downing food, especially since they are young (13 and almost 9) and very impressionable at this time. I keep trying to do my best for them.

Meanerney- I hope you can come here and post with us and to face what you are going through also. As you can see we are pretty open with what we feel, this is the only place I can be open, so this is important to me to help me get better.

Karefree2- you are a great source of information and support, thankyou. You always seem to be helpful to everyone.

I have to run, DH gets a little testy if I hang on here too long. I hope the week goes well for everyone, Take Care.
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Old 08-06-2002, 09:48 PM   #44
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Just a little post to see how everyone is doing. I feel much better today. I started my Slimfast for breakfast and lunch and feel better already. Today at work the girls even sent out for "Olive Garden" and I was the only one who didn't get anything. I will be hones I haven't finished my pillowcase of M+M's yet, but it is not affecting my quite as much, I can't eat them all day long . I still feel very uncomfortable and hope to start walking again soon. The weather just broke today, it finally went below 90, so I can get back out there.

I hope everyone is doing ok. No one has been here for awhile and I hope that is a good thing, a sign you are doing better than I am! I hope everyone has a good week. Take Care.
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Old 08-07-2002, 03:28 AM   #45
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Thumbs up Family Drama

Is there anything is the world that can have you reaching for the chips and dip faster than your family? If so, please don't tell me as I don't feel I could cope. Oh and lets be honest, it wouldn't just be two things we'd be reaching for would it, it would be a whole pantryful!

Don't stress too much about a gain on holidays Sonny, we ALL do that, even my thin friends do it. Sometimes its great to hang the mental shackles on the wall of the dungeon and just go for gold. As long as you can get back on track again and focus you will lose those 5 and more, no worries!

The friend who's house I went to dinner at is the one whose eating I'm trying to emulate, she's my best friend actually. I needn't have worried as she made lasagne (small portions, very good), steamed vegies just 'cause she knows i'm trying to watch what I eat, and made wedges which we only had a couple each. Now you know why she's my best friend, support support all the way, even when I don't ask!

Also, dinner Friday will not be a drama I will be playing tennis in the morning and I will eat a little of everthing and ban nothing, just 'till I'm full. I get so worked up and overzealous sometimes that I go out and food **** myself into just having plain boiled yuk and spend all night cranky and salivating at the cold spring rolls.

Take care all and be strong,

Belle
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