It's so nice to be back here... I was away for two weeks, a sort of European wild camp
... so I had no opportunity to check the Internet... nor weigh myself
nor control very well what to eat
So... first week went quite fine, I didn't eat SO healthy but considering everything I think I did quite good... and we were moving SO MUCH
Unfortunately, the second week was AWFUL.
We changed the place, and also food was very different (they provided us with meals)... I started feeling uncomfortable... I was also freaking out because there was NO MIRROR (just a very tiny one for the face)... I binged almost everyday. Not overeat, binged (and to me this is SO worse). I ate TONS of potatoes, bread and butter, sweets. Really a lot (I'm vegetarian and they didn't have fruits or salads... just meat! and potatoes bread and pasta). And drank a lot of alcohol too. I was feeling so crappy and sad. I thought I was ruining a least one entire month of dieting. I was so upset.
Anyway, last days, I still ate a lot, but not so much as before, and my attitude also changed... I thought "okay, I've done terribly wrong, I ate unhealthy, too much, and so on. But stop complaining, when I come back home, I will SURELY be able to get back on track".
So when I arrived home, I wasn't too much worried. I stepped on the scale feeling like a hero "show me how strong you are, stupid scale! show me how much weight I've put on... you won't frighten me anyway, I'm ready to show you how strong I AM!"
And... I couldn't believe... I put on just 1lb!!! Which is really NOTHING. I was expecting AT LEAST 6 (if it was 5, I would have been happy, I swear!).
I don't know how it could have happen. I really consider myself a food-expert... I mean, I know the calories of most of the food... I know how much I need everyday, what kind of nutrients are better for me... I never weigh any food 'cause I'm so used to it that I can measure the quantity just at glance. And my ticker shows it has been working so far
... so i really can't explain to myself what happened. But I'm SO HAPPY
And I got (almost) back on track too. I still need some settlements (not eating so healthy as I was doing before holidays, and not so good in organizing meals = a couple of days I didn't have dinner because I had eaten really too much at lunch - I know it's bad and I want to be more equilibrated, just give me few days more
...anyway still happy I managed not to eat dinner after an overeating lunch
And no need to say... I've already lost-back the 1lb I gained
So my ticker is the same as before holidays
So... I'm happy with the results.
But I'm not happy at all with my binge. I felt so awful. I still have to learn a lot. I know there could be a lot of explanations (different place, different food, no control over meals, stressful situation, ecc)... but exactly, I don't want these "excuses" to lead me towards binging. I want to learn to deal with the problems, not to dig them in tons of food. At least not for an entire week.
I'm ready to face other binges. I mean, I DO NOT WANT to binge. But I'm ready to accept it could happen again.
Btw, this lunch I've overeaten. But still not binged. And still ready not to eat tonight to compensate.
I'm here in these journey with you girls. I hope we shall overcome!!