So today I woke up and made my breakfast.
3 egg omlette with cheese and 4 lil tiny brown rolls which was fine, I know this may seem like alot for most people but I kind of consider this as my breakfast and lunch in one.
I sat down to eat it and felt okay, then went to the fridge for a drink picked up a packet of Ryvita minis (around 100 cals) noticed we have some very tasty looking dark chocolate cookies.............. I know I cant eat any or it will end up in a binge, all sense went out the window, I took 7 of them (around 120 cals each) and then I had this taste for chocolate I then went on to have 2 galaxy chocolate bars (around 250 cals each)
To make things worse I have now taken 2 laxatives..............
I feel like I will never understand why I do this to myself. Things have been pretty bad for me lately but this is the first time in weeks, maybe months I have binged like this.
Today was supposed to be a good day, id go to the gym and eat healthily.
I cant go to the gym now, my stomach is SO sore.
In the past I binged a few times a week and used laxatives regulary, I thought I had finally tought myself to enjoy food and eat what I want in moderation.
Do you ever feel like your 'self detruct' button has been pushed? I have wasted another day of my life by being weak and pathetic. The only positive thing I have to say is that in the past I would have just ate all the 5 galaxy bars that are in the packet..............
Im sorry to anyone that has read this, I just had to get it out.