I succumbed. My will went wet noodle-ish and I binged on sugar.
On Friday I had to assemble Easter baskets for a party on Saturday. This was prearranged months ago and when I tried to get out of it... well, it wasn't possible. With all that candy just sitting there, I was a goner.
What bothers me most is that my 'reasons' were just so stupid. Stress with assignments played a big part. Most of all, though, was my resentment that other people could have Easter buns, chocolate eggs, etc. and not me. Stupid right? It's not even true! Normal people don't binge. I didn't even have a reason to feel deprived as I had even planned to treat myself to a special Easter breakfast with pancakes.
The worst part was that I didn't even enjoy it. The candy was nice, I suppose, but it didn't really match my expectations. That kind of made it worse as I kept eating trying to find something that would fulfill me. Even my old standby comfort foods did not avail. Instead, I'm left with the frustration of falling back into bad habits.
Today is another day and I'm never going to set myself up for failure like that again. Still, I'm just glad that Australia doesn't 'do' Halloween.
Don't be so hard on yourself. It's great that you're trying to learn from the experience and take that knowledge with you. Today IS another day and you can become a stronger, better person because of this.
Thanks guys! It's good for me to admit I screwed up. Ironically, I had some cherries for dessert tonight and they tasted better and satisfied me more than all that crap I ate. Fickle appetite!
7 cupcakes, 2 servings of banana pudding, dove chocolate eggs, reese easter eggs, sweettarts, sixlets, peeps, four servings of ham, 4 rolls, mashed potatos, candied yams, stuffing, baked beans...
yuck!! and i wrote it ALL in my eating journal. i dont feel as bad today as i have in the past over binges.. hopefully that is a good thing. i picked up right where i left of saturday though. havent had the first craving today...
I didn't exactly keep to my plan either, but something good did come out of it. I overate during my mom's Easter Feaster dinner last night ... and while it was ALL wonderful, I simply hated the stuffed feeling afterward. And now I've got some fresh motivation! I'm not going to look back and beat myself up this time ... I'm going to remember lying uncomfortably awake for hours, and not do that again. Onward!
These big commercial holidays are just so terrible. I think the way food, particularly sweet things, are pushed into people's faces that it makes you think you want/need it even when you don't. I know that in the build up before Easter, I felt something akin to guilt that I wasn't going to go all out with Easter as I had in the past.
Kinda creepy to see how much peer (or advertisement) pressure got to me!
Easter Binge
