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Was doing well...now am not, feel hopeless

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Old 01-21-2009, 11:24 PM   #1
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Default Was doing well...now am not, feel hopeless

I forget when I joined this forum, but I never really posted because, well, I'm pretty shy about dieting - seems like all my friends either lose weight without trying or just don't care about their weight. Either way, it seems like no one understands and I generally keep it to myself.

But I'm at a point now where I need to be in contact with people who get it, and who will help keep me on track (even just by knowing that they're reading my posting) without judging me or being disgusted by me.

I've gained something like seven pounds this past month, and that's not counting the extra weight I've put on over the past six or eight months. I was doing well without gorging, but now it's like I've lost all the self-control I acquired. Burgers, pizza, fries, ice cream, peanut butter (my biggest weakness!)...and none of the ability to stop after just a little.

I try to just not have it in the house, but I live with other people who buy it, and if it's there, I'll eat it. For a while that wasn't the case, but right now, it is. And, well, sometimes I go out and buy it for myself.

I guess I don't really have a point, except that I realize that I need to change. But I don't know how, I don't know what the heck to do, because all I can see is the inevitable setbacks, and worse, when I get to the point where I just have to keep dropping calories from my diet just to stay at the same weight, let alone lose anything, and. I don't know. I guess I'm overwhelmed. Thanks for listening.
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Old 01-21-2009, 11:26 PM   #2
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Hello stranger! Welcome to 3FC the greatest possible online support group EVER. I look forward to seeing you around on the boards.
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Old 01-21-2009, 11:32 PM   #3
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Violet,
Trust me, I know how you feel. I've been overweight beginning in junior high (some awful personal stuff happened, but that's a whole other story). When I had my daughter, I pretty much fell victim to sleeping and eating whenever I could, and got to my highest weight. Now, as I just turned 30, I realized it is time for me to take back my life and do something good for myself. It's not just the weight loss, I want to feel better.

I think you're not giving yourself enough credit. As you begin to lose weight, you won't crave the foods anymore. I live with my hubby who eats the "bad" stuff, but I see it in the pantry and I don't touch it. If I have a sweet tooth, I grab the 100-calorie snacks to help me.

This is going to take some time. It's not just a diet, it is a lifestyle change...it will take time. I began reading Winning By Losing by Jillian Michaels and she said that the first thing you need to do is change your frame of mind about yourself. A lot of what's in her book totally rang true for me.

The women on this message board have helped me find willpower that I never knew I had. Take a look:

Looking for some weight loss buddies=) by Neesy_20

You're not alone in this. Welcome!
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Old 01-22-2009, 12:03 AM   #4
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Hi Violet. I know what you mean about other people. I always feel like everyone around me drops weight 100x's faster than I do. It's annoying but we've got to just ignore them and focus on ourselves. It won't get done overnight, it's a long processes. But you can do it!!!!
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Old 01-22-2009, 01:25 AM   #5
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I agree with Disgruntled.. Small changes. that way you wont feel overwhelmed.. start by drinking more water, or taking a short walks, or buying an exersize dvd. -- noone changes overnight. . you didnt get overweight overnight, so its unfair to put upon youself that you need to change overnight..

but welcome.. you'll find so much help and info here.. i hope i see you around!!!
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Old 01-22-2009, 11:14 AM   #6
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A proposed solution from my camp would be

work on your self esteem - get clothes you like, tackle your demons, try and look after yourself emotionally

+

incorporating more activity into your day to day life, but in a sustainable manner you can keep up permanently

+

(slightly controversial?!) intuitive eating. I've been round the diet and eating disorder road for years and years, including a lot of binge eating. Surprise surprise, when I feel best about myself and don't deny myself anything..I feel better, my digestion improves, and I want to eat less. Its completely true - for me, anyway! It may not work for everyone, but diets on the whole are a lot of rubbish that kills you mentally. I'd say look into it, even if you choose to go with a traditional plan in the end.

When it comes down to it, most junk food isn't nice. Intuitive eating means I don't really eat it, but not because I've told myself I can't, but because I've taken the time to eat/savour it and discovered its yeukky and unatural tasting.
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Old 01-22-2009, 12:09 PM   #7
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You joined in September , 2008. You have made a start just by joining, Do you have a diet and exercise plan? You can start right now and be healthier and more attractiive. You will feel so much better in every way!
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Old 01-22-2009, 03:56 PM   #8
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I know how you feel about people having junk around you- my sister and husband buy chips and soda and other things- while I don't care for soda- I love chips.

And last week my husband kept buying snack wraps for me- I was like babe while I appreciate you are thinking of me- no more snack wraps please!

My husband just thinks about weight loss and loses 10 pounds- grr! lol.

Welcome to the boards- don't be shy!
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Old 01-22-2009, 04:15 PM   #9
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Hi Violet,
What struck me in your post is when you said:
I was doing well without gorging, but now it's like I've lost all the self-control I acquired.
Perhaps something happened in your life at the time you lost control? It might be worth it to think back and see if you can identify what set you off?

Sometimes that works for me when I've had a setback. If I can figure out what triggers me, then I can be mindful of that when I get into a similar situation again.

Hang inthere, we're all here for you!!!
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Old 01-22-2009, 09:07 PM   #10
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Hi Violet. Wow, look at all these wonderful and supportive posts. Just coming here for some positive re-enforcement and as a place to go when you blow it, want to tell someone and get a non-judgmental kick in the pants to get started again, I am sure you will find your way back to healthier eating, and getting back to weight loss. When I came here I actually posted that I wasn't sure I was ready. Also, didn't believe that I would lose weight.
I am happy to say I got ready and am losing, very slowly, but keeping on track, even with great personal stress right now. The support makes all the difference to me, I hope it will help you.
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Old 01-24-2009, 10:22 PM   #11
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Hi, Violet!
Please don't feel hopeless - you are alive, you are here, and you're with us. There is so much knowledge on this forum ... take a good long cruise around the posts, and you will see that everyone has down days and setbacks. None of them need to be permanent - they're just little jogs on the journey. There are going to be days where you have to stare at the clock and say, OK, just one hour without doing the things that got me here. Just one hour ... and then there will be another hour, and another, and then the day has gone by and you've muscled through whatever it was. Or not - and then you just start again tomorrow. The "trying" will become a habit in time. You're the only one who can do this for you ... but 3FC is a fabulous, ever-supportive ring of friends!
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Old 01-31-2009, 01:03 AM   #12
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Thanks for sharing!

We are all at different points in our journeys, I've been working on true life changes for a year and finally feel like I have enough tools in my arsenal to get some lasting results.

This forum is a great support and has so many good tips, you will find solutions that work for you!

I've learned that no success exists in a vacuum, so learn from your mistakes, think of it as getting one step closer to finding what does work for you by eliminating what doesn't.
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Old 03-17-2009, 08:09 AM   #13
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I haven't been by in a while, but I wanted to thank all of you for your help. It truly means a lot and I feel much less alone when I remember that people here really do understand what I'm dealing with.
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Old 03-17-2009, 09:27 AM   #14
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When I was at my lowest point, the one thing I could do was lose weight. Looking back, I can see that it was a control issue. I had little control of anything but I could control my body. I had a harsh regimen but it worked ... so I followed it.
However, there is life and I have to be in it. There are so many medications now that you don't have to discard that idea. It's frustrating but ... paxil is my fourth trial and it works. To combat the nausea, I take it at bedtime and never on an empty stomach.
I don't really know if the meds make it more difficult to lose weight. I don't think so and I'll tell ya why.
Now ... I can walk outside even in town, or a mall, or a public boardwalk or with another human being..
Now ... I enjoy going to the grocery store, reading labels, chosing luscious produce, asking for products.
Now ... I can talk to the butcher about the nicest cuts of meat and their availabilty.
Now ... I go to church, sporting events, work, public gatherings, parties. I've even played in a road hockey tournament.


That's probably more than anybody wanted to know but I'm feeling wordy today
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